Frequently Asked Questions:

1. When should I start potty training my child?
2. What are some signs that my child is "ready" to be potty-trained?
3. Is it true that girls are easier to potty-train than boys?
4. What about infant potty training?
5. What "tools" do I need to get ready to potty train my child?
6. What does "child-led" potty training mean - and what other option is there?
7. Now that I know I'm ready to toilet train, what's my first step?
8. Which books will help us figure out this potty thing?
9. Does bribing work?
10. Excitement or matter-of-factness - which is the way to go when talking poop and pee?
11. I need a guidebook to this potty thing. Can you help?
12. Is there any potty-training poetry out there?

1. When should I start potty training my child?
The AAP says to start toilet training your child when he's ready. Depending on the child, you might start as early as 18 to 24 months; or your child may not be ready until after 30 months, the pediatrics association goes on to say. Toddlers Today reports on a 1997 survey of 482 healthy toddlers; only 4% were potty trained by age two, while most weren't potty trained until between 3 and 3 1/2 years old.

Bad times to start potty training, according to the AAP, are when the child resists strongly or major stress in the home. One big stressor? A new baby in the home or one on the way. That's my situation, and it's certainly not a rare case.

2. What are some signs that my child is "ready" to be potty-trained?
Dr. Spock says there are a couple of basic indications: understanding the concepts involving the potty, and showing interest in using it. According to the AAP, some things are rather basic; you can't potty-train your toddler until he can follow simple instructions, walk to and from the bathroom and help undress. But the chief indications, they say, are staying dry at least two hours a time during the day, having regular and predictable bowel movements, and being uncomfortable with dirty diapers and asking to be changed. Babycenter also has a nice list of signs of readiness, including that the child should seem to recognize when it's about time to go.

3. Is it true that girls are easier to potty-train than boys?
Babycenter says yes, girls are easier; although no research has been done to support it. A large but unscientific poll of parents says that girls are easier by a margin of 56% to 44%. The experts at Discovery Health agree, but don't give any reason why.

4. What about infant potty training?
Infant toilet training, also known as elimination communication, is a relatively new idea in the U.S. and usually begins between birth and 4-5 months. White-Boucke Publishing says it is based on age-old techniques from Africa, Asia and South America. According to the Infant Potty Training Web Ring, the basic idea is to observe when your baby is about to pee or poop, then make some noise to associate with peeing - they say the baby will pick up on this quickly. Once you've figured out when the baby is about to go, hold them over your "preferred potty place" (bowl, sink, toilet or outdoors) and let 'er rip.

5. What "tools" do I need to get ready to potty train my child?
First, you'll need a child-sized potty or an insert for your toilet; BabyCenter has a "calculator" to help you pick which one (many parents buy both). Toddlers Today says you'll need training pants (either cloth or disposable) at some point. Other things you might want to consider are books, bribes, and charts; read below for more details.

6. What does "child-led" potty training mean - and what other option is there?
"Child-led" potty training is endorsed by the AAP, according to Toddlers Today. Basically, it means following your child's signals and taking it slow. An attachment parenting web site talks about the downside of the other option, which is, of course, parent-led toilet training. They say that parent-led training is a "war of wills" and often uses embarrassment. No one that we know (or read) endorses embarrassment, just to be clear. Main Street Mom talks about the "naked and $75 approach" suggested by Dr. John Rosemond. The $75 is for carpet cleaning. (And it didn't work for the writer.)

The Red-haired Girl gave up on child-led and put her son into underpants. She figures she'll have to wash a lot of pants before she's successful.

7. Now that I know I'm ready to toilet train, what's my first step?
Babycenter suggests starting with a regular routine in which you set your child on the potty fully clothed at the same time each day, and later start taking his diaper off. The AAP says to let your child watch you or an older sibling go to the potty, and to teach your child proper hygiene habits like washing his hands after using the potty. Explain the process and let your child ask questions.

8. Which books will help us figure out this potty thing?
There are dozens of children's books that will help introduce your toddler to the concept of the potty, some more euphemistic than others. Amazon.com's Baby Editor has put together a list she calls "Potty Training 101." Tops on the list? Everyone Poops. Once Upon a Potty is also a big hit with parents; there is a girl and a boy version. I wasn't wild about this book thanks to its silly words (umm...wee wee?) but my two-and-a-half-year-old loves it. Potty training? Not so much, but he loves the book.

Dr. Greene suggests Toilet Learning by Alison Mack, which shows pictures of everyone from fire fighters to parents going to the bathroom. American Baby has a list of 15 potty training books they recommend.

9. Does bribing work?
Sometimes, bribing can work, according to the parents who've tried it. Citymama tells the tale of how she tried candy, stickers, lip gloss and Hello Kitty panties - only to discover that the magic "potion" was nail polish. Sandy from Me and Me Only tried the Thomas coal-loader and an assortment of Matchbox cars for her son, Logan, but he's taking his own sweet time to collect on his prize. Laurie from Main Street Mom used a potty chart with stickers, which seems to be a universal favorite. Tot City has a free chart to download.

10. Excitement or matter-of-factness - which is the way to go when talking poop and pee?
Excellent question - there seem to be lots of opinions on this. Most advice I've heard is to be extraordinarily enthusiastic. The AAP says that your response should suit your child. Dr. Greene says not to be too enthusiastic, or it will put your child under too much pressure.

11. I need a guidebook to this potty thing. Can you help?
I can't, but Rebecca can. Rule 1: "Wait until the child is two and a half. Or two and a halfish."

Of course! Right here.