you know, I've never been a fan of the view but couldn't pin down exactly why. now i have a concrete reason not to watch it! yay!

Reply

I`ve never seen the View -- I live outside the U.S. -- does anyone have a link to an actual transcript of the program? I really want to see what they said, and not just what the bloggers said they said. I also want to hear about what the cast said when they "poured special congratulations on co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck for starting her baby on the bottle after only a month of breastfeeding."

This issue touches upon two issues about which I feel very strongly, both of which always get me in trouble -- I`m a free speech fanatic, and believe that the same laws that protect me also protect the dangerous, offensive things that other people say.
Also, I personally did NOT like breastfeeding -- I, too, found it "gross and disgusting," and someone always jumps all over me everytime I express this in any way. I deeply resent that some people expect me to pretend to LIKE something when I simply did not.

The protestors are right to jump in their with their own opinions, but I question whether such protests are the best way of changing society`s attitudes toward breastfeeding. If the mothers were out there protesting an actual local ordinance or company policy that forbid breastfeeding, that would be a little different, but as far as I can see, they`re just protesting something that someone said.

I was actually offended by this part of the blog (though I would defend to the death the blogger`s right to say it):

"The "blanket" solution (cover your baby and boob with a blanket) simply confirms the idea that our breasts are only meant for the bedroom (property of our “darling husbands,” to boot). "

It`s not enough that a woman is supposed to pretend to LIKE breastfeeding even if she doesn`t, but now she`s not supposed to cover up when she does it, or else she`s confirming the idea that her breasts are her husband`s? Sorry.... I don`t get it. Breasts belong to the WOMAN. If she chooses to share them with her baby, publicly or in private, or bottle-feed as a lifestyle choice -- it should be her choice.

Ok, getting down off my soapbox now....

Reply

The right of every baby to feed does not imply that women should expose themselves more than absolutely needed... covering yourself with a blanket does not state that your breasts belong to your husband, it states that you respect those around you as much as you expect them to respect you. We should all realize that people around don't have to share our views. Noone argues or denies the right of that baby to feed, but there's a big gap between feeding and just flaunting, are mothers who breastfeed uncovered more of a mother? am I less of a mother just because I cover with a blanket while my baby eats? No, they are not more of a mother, no, I'm not less of a mother, they are simply flaunting their breast to the general public and I am not.
These women are not making a good statement towards breastfeeding, they are just trying to make it ok to show their breasts in public.

Reply

I do not use a blanket when I breastfeed my baby at home or in public. I also do not "let it all hang out". A blanket is simply NOT NEEDED to be discreetly covered if you've chosen your wardrobe properly. And I am NOT saying you need to wear nursing tops. I have breastfed my baby in numerous situations while interacting with others sans-blanket, and I'd be hard pressed to say they even noticed what was going on. Or if they did, they did one heck of a job not letting on. I find it absolutely infuriating and ridiculous to say that these women "are just trying to make it ok to show their breasts in public"... where do you get off saying that????

Reply

I, too, interpreted the blogger`s anti-blanket comment as support for revealing their breasts, which is why it troubled me so much.

Kittykat, you`re lucky if you can breastfeed without a blanket and have people not notice what you`re doing. I gained an astounding amount of weight with each pregnancy (which breastfeeding helped me lose all of, incidentally). I was not coordinated enough, even in nursing tops, to juggle my breasts and baby and manage to stay covered without something extra on top. So I viewed my use of a blanket as a courtesy to those around me, who perhaps would not like to have seen my leaking, double D watermelons, even though I was using them for a wholesome, natural purpose.

Reply

I didn't mean to say don't use a blanket if you're not comfortable not using one. Do what works for you by all means, it doesn't bother me. What DOES bother me is people making nursing in public (sans-blanket) out as if the mother is an EXHIBITIONIST, and even if she is and it bothers you... well, you can always look the other way. And yes, I have double D's too. Maybe it helps that I've nursed two babies... one until 22 mos (yes, in public at that age), and currently my 7 month old. Lots of practice makes it easier.

Reply

I NEVER got good at the juggling, and I nursed three kids -- for ten and a half months, 13 months, and 20 months respectively. I truly didn`t like it at all. I loved cuddly and bonding with my babies, but preferred to do it without one of my body parts in their mouths --but I chose to continue breastfeeding, despite not liking it, because of all the health benefits for me and them. When I decided to stop feeding my oldest ahead of that magic one-year point, so that I could hopefully get pregnant again, I got no support from our pediatrician or nurse practitioners, who tried to talk me into doing it longer instead of giving me badly needed advice about how to wean.

Even using a blanket, I probably made plenty of people uncomfortable when I breastfed in public, but did it anyway, as discreetly as I could. I think the "you can always look the other way" attitude is the right one to take.

But I think the original protesting blogger`s comments DO focus too much on the issue of revealing one`s breasts or not, rather than on the feeding issue itself. It is a side issue that distracts from the main argument and I`m not sure that it`s a constructive way to get her point across -- but as I said, she`s free to say it, and to feel that way, and to reveal as much of her breasts as she`s comfortable revealing. If I were still breastfeeding, I would NOT be there with her, wagging my watermelons.... but that`s just me.

Reply

I believe that the original blogger, and many others in the breastfeeding movement, view display of the breast as intimately connected with breastfeeding, as public display of the breast is a primary reason why so many people oppose public feeding. I agree with that. If a 400-lb. man can show off his chi-chis on the beach, why can't a woman? And why can't a breastfeeding mom, for whom the act of exposure is incidental?

Reply

I too disagree with the above mention of women who nurse in public without a blanket as being disrespectful of others. I also thoroughly understand that everyone has a different technique and that some mothers are more comfortable nursing with something additional to help cover them but I happen to be very comfortable nursing without any other cover than my shirt and I have been in many, many, many situations where not one person near me was able to see any of my skin unless they were to sit on my childs head! I think we're losing our point which is that the comments on "the view" of breastfeeding being disgusting was totally unfiltered on their part. Would they say that getting pregnant is disgusting or that birthing a baby is disgusting or that the babies genitals are disgusting? It is one thing to say that they decided not to breastfeed or that they did not like breastfeeding - quite respectable. But to say that it is disgusting means that we should all be ashamed of nursing.

Reply

I objected -- and still object -- to the original protest blogger`s comment not because she`s supporting public displays of breasts, but because she DENIGRATED WOMEN WHO CHOOSE NOT TO. I think that`s an important distinction.

Reply

elisabeth said on the show that she has started giving her baby a bottle at night only- and her baby is 2 months old.

my pediatrician just recommended the same thing to me for my 2-month old...continue breast-feeding daily, but supplement with one bottle before bed.

and, it was Barbara Walters who made the anti-breastfeeding in public comments...

Reply

I feel that the main points here are still being overlooked. The main point is that SOCIETY has some rather strange values towards women, body image, babies etc, and that these should be addressed. I do not mean to offend the blogger who said she too found breastfeeding 'disgusting', but I think that is an emotional or mental issue which therapy could perhaps help. To be repulsed by a natural, beautiful, organic, physical experience between mother and child, says to me that the women in our society that have a problem with breastfeeding may also have a problem with intimacy, or touching other human beings. I mean, c'mon, it's natural - it's meant to be. It's how we were made. Therefore, to be against it is unnatural. But our society constantly embraces the unnatural. We even have tv shows on plastic surgery now - making it look like entertainment. I think it's sad that so many are actually terrified of being human. I think that the issue of breastfeeding in public or breastfeeding in general, is a political issue too, and has a lot to do with the way society sees women, and their role in the community. There is a certain empowerment in breastfeeding, the nurturing aspect of it, the sense of achievement, the awesome resourcefulness of the body....Does it not disempower women somewhat to say therefore that breastfeeding is "gross" (besides from sounding a little immature too.)
Obviously, some women can't breasfeed, for physical and/or financial (going back to work) -reasons. But to actually be AGAINST breastfeeding, is the same as being against exercise or building close, healthy relationships. It simply doesn't make sense, and says something eery about the way we have lost touch with what being human is really about.
Also - ladies, if we constantly berate each other for "displaying breasts in public" and make this the big issue about breastfeeding, instead of focusing on what's best for our babies, we are being self-absorbed to a frightening degree. I believe a lot of women's eating disorders, problems with body image and inability to break through the glass ceiling in the workplace is partly based on the way we judge each other so harshly, whilst forgetting what really matters. I personally cover myself while breastfeeding in public because I don't like to make others uncomfortable, and I prefer to be more modest. However, if a woman is breastfeeding in public (and you can see a sliver of boob), her rights as a mother should come way before society's superficial judgements. If you don't like it, don't look. And if you don't like breastfeeding - fine. You probably can't help that.But to call something so beautiful "gross" and "disgusting" reveals how far our society has strayed from it's basic values, and how lost, in a sense, we are.

Reply

I breastfed my daughter for 1 1/2 years. I did it in public - on the subway, on the street, on airplanes, in stores, the library, etc., basically any time she was fed, I fed her with my breast. Out in the open. Happily. I don't care and never did what people thought about my breastfeeding in public. If they didn't like it, well then they didn't have to look. And most people didn't. The women who were offended often either felt uncomfortable about breastfeeding, or never breastfed, or had really screwed up issues with women's bodies and male attention. Many times, women on the subway smiled or approached me with memories of breastfeeding their own children. I mostly got encouragement.

There is absolutely no doubt that breastfeeding is better for children and mothers. Everyone should know that by now.

As long as the law says that we can breastfeed anywhere that's all that matters.

The real shame in this, however, is that the women on the View are in a position to really shape opinions on important matters. It's disappointing that they are so shallow, small minded, and unwilling to unpack their own ignorance.

And regarding wearing a blanket while breastfeeding. No. That's just silly. I leave that to the women who really feel that's necessary because they are uncomfortable with what they're doing or pandering to other people's discomfort. I never did.

Reply

If breastfeeding in public is disgusting, so is eating. Because that is all that's going on. It's not a sexual act. It's not the same as using the bathroom. It's a baby, eating the best and most natural food that they can, when they need it. Just as eating a sandwich when you're hungry is eating what you need when you need it.

Some people eat like pigs; they don't close their mouths, they make gross noises, they eat smelly things you hate. So, you move away from them, or look elsewhere. You don't suggest that eating in public be banned or is somehow in itself disgusting. Maybe some women do show more boob than they "should" while feeding. Well, that's at most a social faux pas. It is not the End of Civilization, as some comments would suggest. It's just a boob, people.

I think the View is a stupid, shallow show and I have always thought Walters showed disdain for women who didn't fit some mold she approved of. I hope she is followed by nursing moms wherever she goes.

Reply

I am not against breastfeeding at all, and I have absolutely nothing against other mothers who aren`t shy about revealing their breasts in public. If someone turned to me and said, "Can you believe what that woman over there is doing?" I would definitely say something along the lines of, "I can`t believe you would possibly be bothered by that!"

But please don`t tell me how I personally am supposed to feel about breastfeeding. And if I chose to cover myself with a baby blanket, please don`t tell me I am "pandering to other people`s discomfort." Perhaps I am pandering to my own discomfort -- perhaps I just don`t want to expose my personal body parts to the world at large. There is a difference -- albeit a fine one -- between being modest, and being ashamed. I love my breasts -- I really do! -- I just don`t want to share them with you, okay?

For me -- not for you, or for everyone, but for ME -- breastfeeding meant having size double DD leaking knockers, for a few years of my life. While I was truly grateful that I was able to produce a good supply of milk (I have many friends who were unable to), I personally did not enjoy the whole breastfeeding process, and nothing -- NOTHING -- anyone can ever say will make me change the way I felt. I was very happy to be over and done with breastfeeding, and get my own body back. As I said, I loved cuddling my babies, and still love cuddling my older kids. Indeed, the implication that there is something wrong with me for feeling this way and honestly stating my feelings is quite offensive --- no one should ever tell enough person how they should feel.

Perhaps I should start a support group? "Women who didn`t like breastfeeding but spent years doing it anyway" -- the few, the proud, the misunderstood.

Barbara Walters is in her 70`s and her daughter was adopted. I`m sorry breastfeeing makes her uncomfortable, but....I would have done it in front of her, too, and smiled and said something snotty like, "If you don`t like it, lady, then don`t watch me."

Reply

Hey L you sound more like me than my posts may have let on. I didn't love every minute of breastfeeding either, and in fact hated a chunk of it, but did it anyway. And I was SOOOOOO happy when I was finished. I felt the same way about pregnancy. I'd join your support group and start a preganancy wing.

I'm not trying to rip the blanket off women who are uncomfortable baring their breasts, but I really get a bee in my bonnet at the suggestion that women need to where a blanket to pander to the discomfort of other people.

Reply

I probably never would have commented on this post until I saw that paragaph in the original blog -- Once again, "The "blanket" solution (cover your baby and boob with a blanket) simply confirms the idea that our breasts are only meant for the bedroom (property of our “darling husbands,” to boot). " That, um... really got me going.

I would never make what they call "the blanket solution" mandatory - but to claim that those of us who prefer privacy were somehow traitors to the feminist cause really lost me.

Reply

Just because it comes "NATURAL" that does not give anyone the right to secrete their bodily fluids in public. Will urination and defecation in public be embraced? NO!

Reply

Urination and defecation are indeed normal and natural bodily functions like breastfeeding -- the key difference is that they leave behind smelly stuff that can get quite germy, whereas breastmilk goes right into the baby. It`s like changing a diaper -- I avoided doing that in places where I felt comfortable breastfeeding, even though it was all part of normal natural body functions, too.
To be sure, babies spit up breastmilk -- but they spit up formula just the same.

Reply

I breastfed my DD for 16 months. The first 6 weeks were horrible, but I stuck it out and it became easier and in fact enjoyable. I rarely nursed in public, except on planes and in a parked car. When I did, I covered up with a blanket. I was just never able to get the hang of it without exposing myself a little too much for my comfort level.

My niece was able to NIP without a blanket. Did I look down on her for not using one, no. Did she look down on me for using a blanket, no. Blanket or no blanket shouldn't be the issue. I have seen more "breastage" from some women's choice of clothing to wear than I ever have seeing a mother NIP.

I think that it should be ok to NIP if we choose. I personally wouldn't want to eat in the bathroom. The odors alone make it less than pleasant. I found it most convenient to find a dressing room and nurse my DD there. That is what worked for me.

I say, NIP if you want. Or don't if you are uncomfortable. I just don't think it was responsible of the women on The View to call it disgusting. They have an influence on public opinion and they should be mindful of that. Breastfed or formula, it is every woman's choice. Why be so mean and denigrating of eachother's choice?

Reply