Elimination Communication works -- sort of

You should look at what they do in China. Some of my co-workers from China say they do not use diapers there, the baby's clothes have an opening in the rear. That's all I know though, I don't know if they have to constantly run and hold them over a toilet, or they train them really quick. I know it's quicker than our method though.

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Congratulations for choosing EC!! My DS is 16 months old and we have had great success with this method. The times that I have become the most frustrated with EC are when I forget that I am doing this to meet his needs and begin to focus on having a child who is potty trained at an early age. I, too, start to feel that I'm "missing precious time," but in reality, I'm not. Your DS knows that you are there for him and will change him immediately. He knows that he can trust his parents and that they believe in the language value of his cries and non-verbal communication. He knows that he will not have to sit in a dirty diaper for hours and that you won't ignore his discomfort. Even though you aren't "catching" every pee and poo, you are establishing a deeper communication and connection and respecting his needs. Definitely not a waste of time! You're doing a great job! And when you're having a particularly difficult day and it seems like you're missing every pee, just remember that every one you catch is one less diaper that has to be washed or thrown away.

To catch the nursing poos, your wife would have to put your DS over a bowl or receptacle of some type on her lap. The size and age of your child usually determines if this is a reasonable solution. If it is not, I wouldn't worry about it too much, as his elimination habits will change in a few weeks anyway.

As you know, most babies don't pee in their sleep, so they usually need to go immediately upon waking. In terms of catching wake-up pees (which are a great way for beginners to start!), I would dress your baby differently. What is he wearing that takes too long to take off? Try just a shirt or a shirt with diaper and keep a receptacle or a BBLP (Baby Bjorn Little Potty) right next to the bed. Perhaps those gowns that have a drawstring at the bottom would keep baby warm and give you quick access.

Since many people have never heard of EC, I'm going to include some links that may be helpful. Good luck with your EC journey!

Laura :)


http://indiatogether.org/2004/aug/chi-diapers.htm

http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=287122

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/eliminationcommunication/
This is the main group which is very busy. Make sure to select "no e-mail" in your profile/preferences as this group will flood your inbox!

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Here's my experience as a 'mainstreamer' turned EC'er (and I am still learning!!!):

As your son grows older his elimination patterns will change. Night time and nap time poops will lessen, so this stage may end soon enough on its own. I had similar challenges till my son was 4-5 months old- then he held his night and nap poops and we 'caught' almost all of his poops. Of course, he started solid foods, walking, etc. and things changed then too.

BTW, with summer time it is also easier to dress babes in clothes that make EC easier.

I find that when my son woke from his nap, I had a little time to get to him and put him on the potty (2-3 minutes maybe). If he was happy this worked, but if he was upset I learned that his need for my comfort trumped my want to have him 'potty' and have a dry diaper.

Here's another great site to add to the sites the previous poster mentioned- and this site may connect people to other parents that EC locally:
http://www.diaperfreebaby.com

I am lucky to have a local diaperfree group. We meet monthly and I can ask questions of and get ideas from other parents doing EC. For me, it is nice to hear (and see) other parents EC'ing. It is nice that my son can see other children using the potty, too.

I find that I make "potty time" fun by talking playing and reading to my ds. If I start to get frustrated by my (lack of) progress I adjust what I am doing (I may decide to take ds to potty only if he signals or has dirty diaper, for example). I always offer 'the potty' when I change a diaper.

I remind myself that most of the time I am spending EC'ing I would spend changing a diaper anyways- and later on I would be spending time pottying or diapering an older toddler. For me, it is worth investing a little extra time now.

EC isn't always easy but it is not about how many times you 'catch' a poop or pee- it is about makeing a connection and learning to be receptive to your childs needs and signals.

I hope that helps.

Jess

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Hi, it is great that you are communicating this way with your son. All of us went through these rough spots in the beginning, but hte key is communication and you will be amazed at how fast you begin understanding each other's signals and cues. Right now he may be wetting / soiling before you can get his clothes off, but pretty soon, he will understand and trust that you are going to take his clothes off so that he can eliminate more comfortably and that confidence will be reaffirmed each time you take him to the potty at his predictable times, that you have mentioned.

I am really grateful that I learned about ec on the internet though it has been practiced by my culture for generations - only forgotten by the present urban generation. But it really really works.

We started at 6 months and were 90% diaper-free by 10 months. We stopped using diapers altogether (even when going out, overnight, etc) by around 18 months, even though we'd have a miss about once a month. Once a month wiping a spill / washing extra clothes was, to me, not a good reason to keep my daughter in diapers. And I never have to worry about trying to 'wipe out all the poop' since she never misses those. It is cleaner, healthier, happier and in the long run, a lot easier than changing the habits of a child who's been trained to use a diaper full time.

good luck!

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