For the latest installment in Blogging Baby's ongoing "meet the blogger" series, I'd like to introduce you to the lovely Karen who blogs Chookooloonks.

Chookooloonks, a Trinidadian term of endearment for a child, is the first adoption blog I ever read. Except it's not so much about adoption as it is about Karen and her husband Marcus' life with daughter Alex and their adjustment to a recent move from Houston to Trinidad, Karen's home country. Chookooloonks is also about rum punch, but we'll get to that later. Karen is warm (like people from tropical climes often are), she is unabashedly devoted to her family, and she is very knowledgable about adoption and willingly shares information about her experience. I have never met Karen, but we have commented on each other's blogs and exchanged emails for some time. She is one of those people that you know you would feel instantly comfortable with if you met them in person. Someday, I do hope to have the pleasure. We begin the interview with her views on blogging and end with her sharing some of her thoughts adoption. And so, without further ado, allow me to introduce Chookooloonks.

Hi, Karen! Tell us, when do you start blogging?

I started in February 2004, about two weeks before Alex was born.

Why did you start blogging?

I actually started because some members of my husband's family, who all live in England, were feeling a bit left out of the whole adoption process. I thought blogging might be a good way for them to feel like they were part of our everyday life. It worked.  We just returned from visiting them, and they referred to events described in past posts as if they had been with us the entire time. Blogging is a wonderful way for friends and family to feel involved.

When and/or how will you show your child your blog?

Are you kidding?  With as many photos as I post of Alex, she can't get enough of herself.  She often asks me to pull Chookooloonks up, just so she can take a look! I can't imagine there'll be a time when she doesn't know about the blog. (Ha! This is true. Karen takes lots of pictures of Alex, and recently, when Marcus was out of the country, she posted a new picture of Alex everyday so when he logged in from afar he could see and feel close to Alex. -SB)

Also, I've printed out the first year of the blog, and am planning to have it professionally bound— sort of an "e-baby-book."  She'll receive it when she's older.

How do you increase blog traffic? Did it naturally evolve or did you actively "market" yourself?

It pretty much evolved naturally. I'm listed on BlogExplosion, but since I rarely use it myself, I can't really attribute any increase in traffic to it. The adoption community is pretty voracious when it comes to seeking and soaking up information about other adoptions, so a lot of traffic comes from there.  But other than that, there's a lot of word-of-mouth traffic, as well. And of course, interviews like this one help! (I can't quite figure out BlogExplosion, either. -SB)

Is there anything you won't blog? Is privacy an issue?

It's funny. I recently overheard a friend describing my blog as "a website where Karen posts every minute detail of her life."  I had to smile. That's so not true. There's a lot I won't blog, such as:

• I won't blog any details of Alex's birthmother. We have a great relationship, in part, I believe, because I respect her privacy.
• I've never divulged our family's last name.
• I never post pictures of Alex crying. I try to be sure that Chookooloonks is something that Alex will look back on with fondness, not embarrassment. I'm pretty adamant about this.
• I never post any pictures or stories which Alex may later find humiliating.  I once read a blog where a mother's son was throwing a tantrum, and she posted a series of photos of it. I felt so horrible for the little boy. I mean, for him, his pain was real, you know? Minimizing his feelings like that was uncalled for, I think.

Finally, with regard to privacy, I've already got a target date where I plan on ending Chookooloonks, at least in its current incarnation.  Right now, I can get away with posting about Alex, but eventually, it'll be less about how cute she is, and more an invasion of her privacy. I want to stop before that ever becomes an issue.

What kind of response have you gotten since you started you blog?

Amazing response.  Simply amazing.  I've had people e-mail me saying that they'd never considered adoption before reading Chookooloonks, and who are now in the adoption process. People who have said that they'd now consider domestic adoption because of Chookooloonks. One reader (who also has adopted children) is married to a Trinidadian, and when she and her family came to Trinidad to visit his family, they invited us to a birthday party. When we walked in, Alex was like a little celebrity, because it turned out his whole family read Chookooloonks!  I've met people who've subsequently moved to Trinidad, I've generated traffic for our adoption agency, and through all of this, I've kept our families (who live all over the world) involved in our day-to-day life.  It's been great.

Any thoughts on "Mommy/Daddy blogging" that you'd like to share?

Well, mommy/daddy-blogging is the new baby book, isn't it? (That is so true. -SB)  I think it's great, and I think the wonderful by-product is the creation of a sort of parenting community where we can support each other through this difficult parenting journey.  One thing that sometimes bothers me, though, is when people aren't mindful that one day, their children may read the contents of their blogs.  I think it's important that we speak honestly, and speak our truth, while at the same time ensuring we're not blogging anything that may one day hurt our kids.  The other, more unpleasant thing I'm not fond of is when people attack others' parenting choices. I'm a firm believer that a parent's instinct is his/her best guide. Trying to make it through life is hard enough—there's no need to make it harder for anyone.

What blogs do you read (on any subject)?

I'm a huge fan of Julia {Here be Hippogriphs}.  In my opinion, Julia is, by far, the best, wittiest, most intelligent writer in the blogosphere.  I like Defective Yeti for Matthew's ascerbic wit.  I also enjoy the Superhero Journal. I think Andrea is a beautiful soul. I also look at lots of photoblogs for photographic inspiration!

Now we shift to the adoption-focused part of our interview. When I first thought to interview Karen for this piece, I wanted to ask her to share some information about adoption, but I wasn't sure what kinds of questions to ask for fear of asking something too sensitive. In turn I asked her to share her thoughts in a more free-form way.  And below, she shares a terrific post  of "Top Ten" questions that she—as an adoptive parent—is frequently asked.

Karen's thoughts on adoption: 

When I first started out on our adoption journey (and, incidentally, we adopted as a first choice, not as a result of infertility), I think I was very naive about the whole process. I thought we'd just be interviewed by a social worker, they'd deem us fit parents, they'd give us a kid, we'd go home, and that would be the end of it. Turns out I couldn't have been more wrong. There are, of course, legal issues, birthmother issues, and the worst part, dealing with the misconceptions of people unfamiliar with adoption. People who see it as an act of charity ("That's so good, what you and Marcus did!"), or harbouring some sort of undesirable ("I could never adopt—I don't think I could love a child that wasn't 'my own'"). It's an incredibly emotional, tumultuous ride, and one I don't think I was sufficiently prepared for when we first started out.

I suppose my advice to anyone considering adoption is (1) do your homework—on agencies, lawyers, everything. There are really great online forums and other websites, and adoptive parents, on the whole are pretty generous with their insights — ask tons of questions; and (2) be very, very patient. There are so many milestones to achieve on the way, and so many stupid things that people (including close friends and family) will say to you. You just need to take a deep breath, count to ten, deal with it, and move on. The end result is so worth it.

One final thought. While Chookooloonks undeniably started out as an "adoption blog," it's somewhat unsettling to think of it that way now. I feel like almost less than 10% of what I discuss on the site now is about adoption. So much more of it is about parenting, and about Alex's childhood.  Again, I want to help people considering adoption any way I can; however, I don't want anyone to lose focus on the fact that Chookoloonks, and ultimately, adoption, are all about parenting and raising healthy kids—not how these kids came to be a part of a family.

Karen, can you please share some of your favorite posts from Chookooloonks?

I did a post called The Tiny Exodus about a People Magazine article that was lamenting the fact that African-American children were being adopted overseas, because it was difficult to find them homes in the United States. The general tone of the article was one of mild indignation that "foreigners were adopting our children."  My opinion was that as long as children were getting good homes, I didn't much care where they were adopted.  Then I opened up comments for other people's thoughts.

Well.

I couldn't have imagine the tirade that I touched on—and the discussion among the commenters turned into a "Why do you people who adopt domestically judge those of us who adopt internationally," which, of course, wasn't the point of the article (or my post) at all! It was interesting that such a controversial topic inadvertently surfaced. I eventually closed the comments, because I was afraid the discussion would become too heated, and clearly, the intent of Chookooloonks isn't to create controversy. Read The Tiny Exodus.

Another post that generated quite a bit of interest was one I entitled Top Ten Annoying Things People Say to Adoptive Parents That, Even Though They Mean Well, Drive Adoptive Parents Up A Tree.

For nostalgia reasons, my favourite posts are the ones when we brought our daughter home, and the one where she celebrated her 1st birthday.  We'd just moved from Houston to my homeland of Trinidad, and so we didn't know anyone to invite to a first birthday party. I decided to throw Alex a cyber-birthday party, and invited people to wish her a happy birthday and tell her what part of the world they were writing from. It was wonderful to see all the well-wishers from all over the planet!

Finally, I love some of the ones that feature (what I think are) photographs of her which really capture her spirit.

And there you have it.

Thanks so much for consenting to be interviewed, Karen. To close I'd like to share your "recipe" for Trinidadian Rum Punch. Just so everyone knows,  it was this post and the accompanying photo that made me ask immediately for the recipe. Karen gave me an elaborate recipe for the punch which described boiling up some simple syrup and other fiddly business. But then she added, if you can't remember that, just remember this simple poem:

One part sour (lime juice)
Two parts sweet (simple/sugar syrup)
Three parts strong (rum, 'course)
Four parts weak (ice!)

And, says Karen, "don't forget the dash of Agnostura bitters and grated nutmeg at the end—it's the real Trini flourish!" Chookooloonks' rum punch has been keeping us happy all summer long.

Cheers, Karen!