I read somewhere that Cookie is supposed to be an "aspirational" or "escapist" magazine like Vogue -- just like you'd never buy $5000 couture jeans for yourself, but you still like looking at them on some size-0 model who's contorted in a weird way because a photographer told her to. Or something like that.

Maybe that's why I don't get the whole Cookie concept. I was going to say that it seems to reflect a sort of one-upsmanship that's been going on in the parenting world, but I'm not even sure about that. It almost seems like Cookie tries to say, "Hey, just because I have kids doesn't mean my life has changed! I can still wear dangly earrings without the mortal dread of a munchkin tearing off my earlobe! I've never inserted a thermometer into someone's nether regions!"

And I'm not sure that's genuine. I can try to convince myself that I'm still the same person I was before I had my son, but -- to be honest -- now I think about how many times someone else poops in the course of the day. I stick my finger in someone else's mouth to see if a new tooth has popped through. I live in fear that the dryer will eat someone's special blankie. I couldn't care less about what caviar we're going to serve at my kid's birthday party.

If I want to escape, I'll read a magazine that has nothing to do with parenting. I know I sure as heck wouldn't read a magazine that treats parenting as a different way for me to feed my consumerist impulses, or my child as arm candy for the lovely dinner party I'm holding.

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And I've certainly never had a kid barf all over that beautiful cocktail dress.

Sometimes I wonder...

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There are parents out there who use that sort of magazine as inspiration.
While Cookie may be the big US one, magazines like that have been out in Japan for longer than I have been a mother.

Do you know how nice it feels to dress your child up in $200 boots, a $300 outfit and a $400 coat? You feel honestly proud. It`s not that you want your child to look "as nice as you do" - I think the most expensive outfit I own cost maybe $100 - it`s the joy you get from being able to give that much to your child. The pleasure you get from seeing your child look their best.

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Tamyu wrote:
"Do you know how nice it feels to dress your child up in $200 boots, a $300 outfit and a $400 coat? You feel honestly proud."


You should feel honestly ashamed. Do you know how many people in this world don't have a total of $900 to spend on clothing for their entire family in a year? What sort of rabidly consumerist thinking IS that? And interesting that you don't mention the desgn of the items, or how they look or their quality, or what they are made of, t's about the price. How insecure do you have to be to think you ought to be spending tha ona child's clothes? My daughter is beautiful and looks wonderful in her (nondesigner) sweatsuit or in her most expensive little name-brand dress, and I don't need to spend obscene amounts of money on her or myself to feel we have worth.

I certainly hope you have well-stocked retirement and college funds, no debt and most importantly, give generously to those less fortunate. I'd hate to be you when you have to stand before God and justify how good it felt to waste your money like that.

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Hey Amy, don't shoot the messenger (Tayu). It's a cultural issue, not a personal one. I personally don't agree with any type of rampant materialism, be it American or Japanese, but to threaten someone with "standing before god" is not fair if you don't take cultural issues under consideration. Here's a quote for you..

"The scope for self-development in Japan tends to be confined to activities like reading or collecting that make few waves with the political power structure. With few outlets for self-expression, acquisitiveness and envy can be powerful motivators. Individuals tend to feel that they need accessories such as a nice car, certain clothes or popular gadgets like mobile phones before they can feel comfortable facing their peers. Their self does not seem to be enough, but that is true to some extent in the West as well. ...What seems like rampant materialism in Japan can actually be rather socially symbolic."

from http://www.glocom.org/ (interesting site for reading more about Japanese culture)

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While I understand that clothing and accessories are a big deal in the Japanese culture, I still don't internally understand it. I wasn't socialized that way.

I also think it's obscene to spend 150$ on a birthday meal for my mother at a restaurant, when that is my grocery budget for more than a week, and more than some people have in a month.

Social obligation and status are odd bedfellows.

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It`s funny how you jump all over me. It IS because of the design, and quality. Before you leap to say that I should be ashamed - my son spends OVER A YEAR in the same outfit. Yes, OVER A YEAR. He has been in 3 to 6 month clothing for as long as I can remember. I like to see him looking wonderful because, oh, he`s almost DIED about 20 times. Did I say I dressed him in 50 different nice outfits? NO. We have TWO over $300 outfits for him. One bought a year ago to celebrate his discharge from the hospital after 5 months. I didn`t want anything less than natural silk lining touching his body and he deserved the comfort. The other outfit was a GIFT from my in laws for his first birthday, because, guess what - we were given less than a 2% chance of him surviving up to it.

Amy - when you have sat in the hospital every single day for the first 5 months of your daughter`s life - watching her linger on that fine line between life and death - THEN you can criticise me for dressing my child in a couple high priced outfits and a coat he`ll probably be wearing until he`s 5. YOU are the one who should be ashamed of yourself.

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