Babies at the movies: is it ever okay?
This
rant
very convincingly describes the annoyance that non-parents have when people bring their babies to the movies. The
author claims someone just sat with a screaming baby through an entire screening of Jarhead at a major theater in
my town, and recalls that when they went to the midnight showing of the third star wars prequel (nerd!) at the
same theater, someone brought a baby then who screamed the entire time, ruining the film for the other few hundred
souls stuck in the darkened theater with them.
Now, ordinarily I would side with the non-parents on this one, but it's been nine months since my baby was born and I have only seen one movie in the theater during that time: the third Star Wars prequel back in June (nerd!). I went alone (bigger nerd!). I can't get to those rattle & reel specials they have during the day, so I can somewhat sympathize with the people who fail to get babysitters and bring their kids to these movies (although if I was in a theater with one of them I would probably be throwing things at them). Still, now I'd like to see the new Harry Potter or the Johnny Cash movie with the weird Phoenix or even spend a couple hours listening to Phillip Seymour Hoffman try to talk like Truman Capote. Although I have resigned myself to wait for the DVDs, I am wondering if there aren't any circumstances where it would be okay to bring a baby to the theater (i.e. the show was mostly empty, the baby slept in a sling the entire time, the theater was already full of screaming yahoo children). What do you think?
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
angela 12-18-2005 @ 7:03PM
I was just wondering this the other day. My husband and I really want to see the new Harry Potter but we have a 5 month old. He's a very well behaved 5 month old and would probably sleep or nurse the whole time but no one at the theater would know that. They would just see us bringing in a baby and throw raisinets at us or something.
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Valerie 12-18-2005 @ 7:03PM
The only thing I would worry about (assuming I wasn't worrying about a baby breakdown) is how loud movies are. Is there something you can use to cover their ears a little bit without interferring with sleep or invoking screaming? Is it too young for earplugs?
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Mark 12-18-2005 @ 7:03PM
This is only ok...
1. At a drive-in theater (there are still some out there)
2. At a special family screening (a la "rattle & reel")
3. At matinee showings of G-rated films (people expect madness at these)
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Tracy Whelan 12-18-2005 @ 7:03PM
It's okay on a few conditions: the baby is not crying, or if he does start the parent takes the child out immediately. I certainly wouldn't throw things at the family but I would address them--excuse me, I paid $10 for this movie, please remove your screaming child. Parents also have to consider what effect the movie will have on the child in terms of noise and violence. Infants are just as perceptive to those concepts as older children. It all boils down to responsibility, both to your child and to the theater patrons. Yes it's a pain to get a babysitter, ect., but welcome to parenthood.
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Rachel 12-18-2005 @ 7:03PM
I don't understand what's so hard about getting a babysitter! I can empathize with people who have yet to the leave the baby for the first time -- I was there once, too. However, your child needs to learn to be with other people while you're not there. How else will you prepare them for school?
If it's the expense you're worried about, trade sitting with other people. We do this on a monthly basis with another couple, and I REALLY look forward to that night out!!!
Personally, I wouldn't take my baby to a movie because I wouldn't enjoy the movie while having to care for him. I would HATE spending money to see a movie and then not be able to enjoy it -- they're so expensive already!
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3boyzmom 12-18-2005 @ 7:03PM
I think parents who decide to take babies or small children to adult movies have to resign themselves to the possiblity they have to LEAVE if the kids can't be quiet. That said, I took my infant to two movies when he was nursing. I knew he would nurse and sleep the whole time. But when I walked into the theatre both times I could hear this wave of mad whispers. Luckily, both times he was silent. He is 7 1/2 months now and I only go to the movies rarely, usually after the kid's bedtime, with girlfriends. Sad, but they will grow up and I'll have my freedom then.
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suburban misfit 12-18-2005 @ 7:03PM
Yeah, if they're quiet I think it's OK. But be prepared to leave if the baby starts sqwaking or even babbling.
It's just rude; you wouldn't be happy with an adult who talked during a movie, why would it be OK for a baby to make baby noises?
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dave 12-18-2005 @ 7:03PM
Move to Elk Rapids, MI
The theater has a cry room with a window upstairs. There are speakers with a volume switch and I think about ten seats. Very nice, I can remember being in there with my fam when I was younger and my brother was a little one. I have not taken my new baby there yet but I plan on it. I see it as common sense myself, it just does not feel right for me to take a baby to a regular theater. I think that if someone does and the baby cries that they should leave until the baby is done crying or go home. ONE of the things that comes with being a parent is the ability to just walk away from anything without looking back if your baby needs your attention.
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Jessica 12-18-2005 @ 7:03PM
My son is now 19 months old. I have been to several movies since he was born - of varying kid-friendliness. Every time he has nursed and/or slept the whole time. Once he started to fuss and refused to nurse, but we had purposely sat by the door in order to make a quick departure (standard practice these days). Fortunately, this particular trip we were seeing "Phantom of the Opera" and one of the people in our group was my son's godfather, a man who HATES musicals (we didn't tell him that's what it was when we dragged him along) - he took my son out immediately and came back 10-15 minutes later with a completely happy chocolate covered little boy.... oh well, I got to sit and relax for a but and not have to pay a babysitter and the godfather got to get out of watching a movie he hated!
:)
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Rachel 12-18-2005 @ 7:03PM
The other issue is damage to the baby's hearing. It's been proven that loud noises damage hearing, but it's even more so for younger children and babies. Why would you want to subject your baby to that?
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Stephanie 12-18-2005 @ 7:03PM
I have an 18 mos old girl, and in this year and half I have seen no more than 4 movies in the theater.
Our baby is amazingly peaceful and my husband is on the stingy side (should I be saying frugal so as to be nice to him??). So, the very first movie we saw after she was born, he insisted we could see it with her coming along. I thought it was wrong, but did not fight enough before the movie, so we went, it was Van Helsing... She was peacefully asleep. Even so, I felt so wrong for two reasons:
1. the volume was so loud that the whole time I was worrying it could hurt her.
2. I was so pending on her sleep and worrying that she might start crying and ruin the moment for all those around us.
So, 5 min after I sat down I got up with my baby and left the theater. I told my husband to stay and finish the movie, and my baby and I spent the time window shopping.
After that, my husband has not insisted again to go to a movie with the baby along. We have this wonderful babysitter, even though we don't use her much cause we pay her well (i.e. it's expensive), and that is when we go to the movies.
Being a parent means lots of things... and one of them is that like in all relationships you must make consessions. You may not be able to see Harry Potter in the theater, but you have the joy of your baby smiling at you. That is how it works, you trade somethings for others, you make adjustments to your life to have room for your baby.
I'm the first advocate to still have a life after you have a baby, but that life cannot be the same, you must adjust to the new situation.
And most importantly you must respect those around you. If the movie or restaurant you want to go to is not kid or family oriented (and a movie like Jarhead or Star Wars are certainly not baby friendly), you should respect the experience of those around you. Is it been that long that you don't remember how annoyed you were at a baby crying?? of course now you are in the opposite side, but we must have respect for others.
As much as I miss going to the movies as much as I want to, we only do it as often as our babysitting budget allows us.
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FR 12-18-2005 @ 7:03PM
My husband and I went to see 2 movies with my then infant before she was 2 months old. She wasn't even visible in the sling, so no one noticed she was there. The first was great (although the Mr. & Mrs. Smith was unbearably awful!). She nursed when she wanted to and was (somewhat) protected from the noise by the sling covering her and a blanket. I was also right next to the exit, just in case.
The second time we left after 30 minutes bc my husband had a mini breakdown about the baby possibly crying and bothering everone. I'm pretty sure, however, that it had more to do with not wanting to sit through Melinda Melinda.
There really is no excuse for staying in a grown up theater with a screaming baby!
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Dutch 12-18-2005 @ 7:03PM
wow, great comments guys. Dave in Elk Rapids, that is an awesome idea that your theaters have cry rooms! I mean, churches have been doing it for years, why have Loewe's and the other big theaters been remiss? They would be great for toddlers having breakdowns too. Where is Elk Rapids? I grew up in Kalamazoo and I've never been there.
I agree that if babysitters are available and affordable, it makes sense. We are in kind of a unique position: we live in San Francisco 3,000 miles away from any family, we have no friends with children or babies, and we have our baby is daycare during the day. The truth is, we want to be with her as much as possible and we don't even know where to begin on the babysitter front. All our friends are single women living that Sex & the City lifestyle and they're not about to give up their Thurs-Sat nights.
Mark, I'd add these options:
4. If the movie has been released for awhile and the theater is almost empty.
5. If your baby is a heavy sleeper and you are willing to sit right next to the door and leave the second she so much as stirs.
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single mom 12-18-2005 @ 7:03PM
I am a recently divorced single mom to three children. My youngest is now 22 months old. I remember when I first brought my son out to the theatre with my other two children, aged 5 and 8. My son was about 3 months old. The first five minutes went ok, but as time wore on, he began to squirm and wiggle then eventually cry. I took him out immediately to change him and mind him, leaving my other two to quietly watch the movie. They eventually ended up in the washroom with me after first terrorizing the theatre goers with their fighting, "excuse me's
and the door opening and closing. We re-entered the theatre and I tried to nurse him, but eventually I felt obligated to leave.The theatre staff were nice enough to return our money. I tried it again 2 other times and after two embarassing failures and many sympathetic vignettes from other moms, I've never attempted it again.. Number one for the comfort of the other theatre goers, my children's stress level and my own stress level. I'm ok with the thought of leaving "family theatre" nights out, until my son is much older, say 5. Until then, I may get a sitter (even though I live two hours from a theatre) and only take my older kids.... :D I tried it thrice and it didn't work for me. I wholeheartedly would not recommend "family theatre nights" to any single mom unless you only have the one child and perhaps another adult to help.
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CG 12-18-2005 @ 7:03PM
The KOIN Center Theater in Portland also had a cry room which I always thought was great. They ran independent and foreign films in addition to the first-run blockbusters. Unfortunately, now that we are parents to a 6 month old, the theater has changed hands and doesn't offer the same movies. I don't know if they still have a cry room.
We have plans to go see Walk the Line next weekend. It'll be our first movie in a theater in 7 or 8 months. Baby will not be going with us but will have a sitter instead. I want to enjoy the movie!
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Cathy 12-18-2005 @ 7:03PM
My 5-month-old has been to the movies 5 times (6 if you count Star Wars the day before he was born). Wrapped in blanket, he nursed and slept happily thru them all. I sit next to the exit in case he decided to make noise as I would never have him in the room if he would disturb anyone. Only once did someone question why we had a baby at the theater. tomorrow I will go see Harry Potter and my baby will stay with a sitter for the first time. I am more nervous about being away from him than I would be about taking him to a movie.
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Heather 12-18-2005 @ 7:03PM
unless it is a kids movie No it is not ok. I have kids one is a baby and I would never bring him to a movie. Even when he was a newborn I wouldn't do it.
1 it is to loud
2 people pay good money to go to a theater the last thing they want is a baby crying or babbling through the movie
3 the point of going to a movie is get a break from them isn't it?
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Kate 12-18-2005 @ 7:03PM
I probably wouldn't bring a baby or toddler to a movie for the same reasons mentioned above, hearing, probably having to leave, etc. But my husband did take our daughter to a movie when she was about 9 weeks old. He said: I'll take the baby for a few hours so you can have a break. When they got back I asked what did you guys do? And he said, saw Starsky & Hutch! It was a nearly empty weekday matinee and he just kept her in her stroller and she slept through the whole thing. I wouldn't have tried it, though.
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Erika 12-18-2005 @ 7:03PM
We took our baby to a movie when she was about 2 months old.
It was a matinee in a nearly-empty theater. She was in her sling, nursing or sleeping the whole time. I cupped my hand over hear exposed ear as much as I could to soften the noise.
At one point, she started grunting and farting loudly while she ate, so I walked outside for a couple of minutes until she settled down.
overall, it was a pretty successful experience.
Now that she's 10 months old, doesn't sleep or nurse as much, is more vocal and wants to be mobile, I wouldn't feel comfortable doing it unless it was a G-rated movie.
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meg 12-18-2005 @ 7:03PM
I, at the request of my boyfriend at the time, went to see 8mm with Nicholas Cage. It was a dark and gross movie about snuff porn films. I DO NOT suggest you rent it. However, as the lights came up I saw a mother with 2 young boys, maybe 4 and 6 years old leaving the theater. I almost dropped out of my chair. I brought my niece to see a movie when she was 2, but it was Ice Age. And my lsat anecdote, I went to see Harry Potter 3 and there was a slightly chatty kid in the row behind me. Maybe 45 minutes into the movie a guy in my row yelled to the mother, "Tell your kid to shut the fuck up" Immeadiately everyone hissed at the guy. The moral of my stories: take your kids to the movies, just make sure its the right atmosphere and be aware that even some adults can't stand kids at kids movies.
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