Babies at the movies: is it ever okay?

Our local theatres have a "Stars and Strollers" viewing once a week. Each theatre does it on a different weekday. It is a matinee and it is a reduced rate.

They set up stroller parking and have a huge table set up with diapering supplies. The sound is set lower than usual to account for the sensitivity of baby ears. I saw at least a half dozen movies while I was off on mat. leave. Spider Man II, Shrek II, Harry Potter III, Big Fish to name a few. The movies aren't just child or family friendly movies either they were the new releases.

Watching these movies I was surrounded by other mommies, daddies and couples with babies. I was never disturbed by the crying of other kids - it was expected so it just didn't bother me. My son usually slept or fed through out the films.
Having these baby friendly movie matinees is a very common thing in the greater Toronto area and I loved it. I never tried taking my son to a regular screening.

Reply

We've taken Cobalt to several movies in the year he's been around, some at baby-brigade and some at a regular theater. We've also gone and had friends sit for him. Luckily, he's a good kid. At the regular theaters, we usually try to sit near the back or on a row end, so that if he does start to act up, we can make a quick exit.

In general, I think each child is different and has different tolerance levels for the movies. It's just like anywhere else you go in public, you have to use your own best judgement. (Of course, like that NYT article about Chicago coffee shops, some parent's judgements are not always best).

Reply

It is funny how un-friendly our (US) society is towards children. I have had people give us dirty looks when our daughter is making cooing or babbling noises in restaurants, at the grocery store etc...it as if kids are not welcome anywhere and it is a shame really.

Our Daughter is 14 months and we have yet to go to a movie and just wait for them to come out on DVD.

As far as "just getting a babysitter", not everyone has that option or even wants to. I don't leave our daugther with anyone and won't for at least a couple more years. I wouldn't be comfortable taking her to a regular movie theatre for the above reasons. Hopefully our city will have a "rattle and reel" someday..that would be so great!

Reply

Wow, Julia, you're right. My wife and I honeymooned in Italy a couple years ago and we loved seeing how entire extended families went out to eat in restaurants late at night with sleeping and crying babies and even though the restaurants were inherently "romantic" we weren't offended at all by screaming and playing kids. It just seemed right.

Why do Americans HATE having to be around tiny little people who just don't have too many ways to express themselves so they have to scream and yell once in awhile? Cripes, think about airplanes.

I'm just going to start saying, "Sorry dude, you must have burst out of your father's head with a war cry in full battle armor like the Goddess Athena, huh bubb? I won't trample on your right to peace and quiet, because clearly you were never a baby yourself."

Reply

Hmm, I didn't realize how fortunate were were here in Houston to have multiple theathers which ENCOURAGE moms to bring their children for specific showings. Yes, these are regular movies, not kid flicks. They don't turn the lights down all of the way, don't turn the sound up all of the way, and provide changing tables too. And with this being the intended audience, it is a little more accepted there will be squirimg babies and toddlers making noise. Of course, common courtesy is expected if they really start making a fuss.

The Angelika has their Cry Baby Mantinees on Fridays and Saturday. http://www.angelikafilmcenter.com/houston/events.asp

And the Alamo Draft House Cinemas has Baby Day on Tuesdays allowing little ones into the noon-ish showings. http://www.drafthouse.com/westoaks/frames.asp

My personal experience? We took our son to the movies last Christmas morning (not at one of those two places.) He had just turned one earlier in the month, and the experience was pretty good. We went to an early show and there were only four other people in the entire theater (we assume also Jewish) which allowed us all to stay pretty spread out. Our son napped for an hour in the comfy theater chair, and when he woke he wanted to walk up and down the stairs. Since it was so empty, we just let him and no one cared.

Reply

A movie theater has no pause button. Setting aside for the moment other people's right to enjoy the film they paid for, if I'm going to pay those prices to watch a first run movie, I want to see and hear the movie. If we bring a baby, that's probably not going to happen. One or the other of us would be missing half the show.

From the comments, lots of people bring their babies who sleep happily through the whole thing. I wouldn't get that lucky.

If the theater is already full of "screaming yahoo children", why would you want to be there?

There are probably ways to do it - especially if you don't insist on attending when the movie first hits town. Attendance always drops, especially on week nights and you could probably get the whole place to yourself. For me, I'll wait for the dvd.

Reply

I may have come across as kid unfriendly - not true and if I gave that impression, I'm sorry. I'm with the kids all the time surrounded by other kids and I just tune out the mayhem unless blood is flowing.

What I was trying to say was I wouldn't be able to enjoy a movie if I had to spend most of the time taking care of a baby and the movies have become much too expensive to try. It's different with a movie geared to children. The noise is part of the fun and I have no problem. I'm there for the kids when I can't coax a fond uncle into taking them.

People should be much more tolerant on airplanes (or any conveyance than they are). Probably in restaurants as well. Even in the movies, we could use a little more kindness and understanding. I'm more bothered by adults who sould know better yammering through a movie than I am an unhappy child.

Most parents who bring babies are good to take them out but then those parents are deprived of the movie while they're tending to children. If they're willing to miss half the film for a chance to get out of the house, it's fine with me; just not something I'd want to do.

Reply

If you bring your child to a movie theater and he/she starts crying PLEASE TAKE THEM OUT. It's very rude to EVERYONE around you. They've paid $8+ to see a movie and would like to enjoy the movie. I am the parent of a 1 yr. old and the only movies I attend are the popcorn/pacifiers showings and most of the time I avoid those too because you can best believe there's going to be some crying and fussing up in there! LOL

Reply

Personally (as a someone who has no children; please don't hurt me!) I find it to be, not babies who ruin my experience at the cinema (here it's £8+ per adult depending which cinema) but children aged 9-13. The Tweenies, they've been named, and I no longer go to the cinema because of them. The last one I went to see, after being greatly pressured, was the 1st Harry Potter movie, and half way through the film I was wishing death upon a certain group, who for some reason were all sat separately, two or three, then a gap which contained me and my cousin, then another one or two, then a few more in front and a few more behind. I had someone constantly moving behind me, two in front of me decided to have a friendly tussle and then frequently change seats, and my ears were constantly irritated by thev sounds of them;
1) Texting each other, complete with key tone on and annoying ring tone
2) chattering and giggling
3) opening sweet wrappers and crinkling paper bags
4) loud chewing and lip smacking
5) overly loud laughter
6) comments about how dumb the 'movie' was
and, the icing on the cake, 7) two of them decided it would be fun to burp loudly and then giggle at regular intervals.

We had to leave early after I had taken as much of that as I could, which was a shame for my cousin who had been looking forward to seeing the film for ages. I filed a complaint that there was no-one supervising to deal with the brats and also mentioned that when I politely asked them to be quiet so my cousin could listen to the film I was sworn at and the noise got louder.

I had similiar experiences before, although not nearly as bad, just hyperactive teens and preteens texting one another (what the heck is WITH that? I once, ONCE received a text whilst watching a film, it was regarding an emergency, and my phone was on silent anyway. Is it just 'not done' for people to consider others around them anymore?) and acting up just enough for it to be irritating. It was that last one that made me firm in my resolve. I had not set foot in a cinema since then; I just wait until it comes out on video/DVD.

It was interesting to note that during that last illfated visit, there WAS a mother with a baby and two small children present, sat just across from me. Her children were angelicly behaved, there was only one tense moment when the little girl got frightened by the dog which was quickly soothed (as in, 'mommy it's scary' and a whispered 'it's alright sweetie, it's only make-pretend, hush now, have a sweet, and hide your eyes...There, it's all asleep, you can look. Now doesn't it look sweet?' 'yes mommy.' Silence)

The baby made NO NOISE the whole time we were there. It was about 10 Months old, awake, and concentrating mostly on the weird colourful things on the screen and occasionally, mommy's hair.

The little girl's fright got a tut out of someone. The preteen's antics were simply tollerated. Ironic huh? You'd think it would've been the other way around.

I think there SHOULD be a few adult only cinemas, but ones that view ALL the films. Call be childish (many do), but I'd like to be able to go and see things like ICE AGE 2 and Charlie And The Chocolate Factory without having to worry about having a horrible time and wasting my money.

Alice

Reply

Alice, I can think of a few adult-only cinemas. depending in your taste, however, you may not approve of the subject matter ;)

Reply

I wouldn't mind seeing an 'adult' film, Dutch, if that's what the cinema's show. Though I'd probably giggle my way through the sex stuff, which might not go down too well with those around me...

Can you think of any in good old Blighty?

Reply

I think it is cultural....India is just about the baby-friendliest place in the world, I think....movie theaters are full of babies, and they are not the loudest or most annoying people in the theater (movies are pretty interactive affairs there, which can be very irritating, but it's just how it is)...in fact, most of the time, crying babies are taken out of the theater by someone to get walked around, not because they are worried about ruining other people's movie experience, but because they are worried about the baby's comfort.

Still... this being a very different movie-culture, I think it's ok if you know your baby will sleep/nurse through a movie. And be willing to take your baby out (to attend to his/her needs) when he/she starts crying. I had taken my daughter to a few movies when she was small...She was born in India and saw a few movies there. During one she slept through half and then babbled playfully during the 2nd half, but no one around shushed us or made us feel bad....in fact, people around us mostly smiled appreciatively at her. After we came here, she slept beautifully through Fahrenheit 911 and What the Bleep Do We Know....but after she got to be a year old, it became hard. Bride and Prejudice, I had to take her out. Even March of the Penguins, I had to take her out for a while...and that was the last movie I took her to. Fortunately my mom lives nearby, so I did get to see Harry Potter!

Reply

We took our daughter who was an infant at the time to a movie with us. She nursed the whole time, but we did get a nasty look from an older lady to my wife when she was nursing, even though she was fully covered (this was before the lights went down).

Reply

Julia, the United States is extremely child-friendly. A hundred years ago, there were actually places that people did not take infants because it was not appropriate for infants to be there. For example, movie theaters and restaurants. These places are in essence entertainment venues for adults, and people aren't paying money to listen to your screaming kid.

Don't misunderstand me, I am not saying that infants should not be allowed in any movie theater or any restaurant. There should be plenty of places for the entire family. However, there should also be places where adults can enjoy recreational activities without children present. Unfortunately, some parents react violently to being told to please leave children at home.

If you don't want to get a babysitter, that's your choice, I don't see why anyone should be obligated to accommodate you in that regard however. When I was a kid and my parents wanted to see a movie or have a nice dinner, I got babysat. That's the way it should be.

Reply

I think Tracy summed this one up for me in the beginning. If you're looking for entertainment to enjoy with your baby in tow, please consider others.

Reply

If you are going to a kids movie at a kid friendly time of the day, cool. Enjoy. Take your kids with you. Everyone expects a bunch of kids and maybe they are not all sitting quietly. Our theater does not allow babies in after 6 PM which is a good policy. I mean, why would a baby need to be in a movie theater at 9:30 at night watching "War of the Worlds" or some other very loud blockbuster? Movie turn around times on DVD's are only about 5-6 months anymore so if really want to see that R rated film at the 9:30 showing, please leave your child with a baby sitter or watch it later at home.

Reply

It is VERY difficult for me to get a babysitter...so I rarely see movies. The few times that I have taken my youngest to a movie it has been a disaster becuase I would need to get up and leave the moment she started fussing. I do not believe that theatres are baby friendly unless you know your child will sleep through the movie. otherwise you are keeping them in a sitting positiong fixated on a screen for up to three hours. Theatres are not for babies...unfortunately.

Reply

Am I missing something? I don't mean to be provocative, but I think it's the height of selfishness to take a baby to the movies. I haven't gone to a movie theatre in a year. That's why I have DVD. Hate to say it, but if you really think it's a sacrifice to not go to the movies, try brushing up on how most family's around the world live. Are we so out of touch that we really think it's okay to ruin other people's movie experience because we are in some way entitled to going to the movies. Even the chance that your baby could cry is enough to stay home, or go to one of those Loew's theatre reel mom's movie days which we have in New York. As a mom who is still solely nursing her one year old, my life is certainly not easy, but I never thought a baby would be 'convenient' so I'm okay with the little sacrifices, because I look at the bigger picture. (pun not intended.)

Reply