I'm not buying my baby anything for Christmas

My hubby and I were thinking of wrapping shoe boxes and filling them with tissue paper. Man, Henry loves to crumple and eat paper. He will be a little over 11 months at x-mas. We're asking for books from grandparents and aunts and uncles who have inquired. The aunts and uncles looked at us in bemused horror on turkey day when that came up, so who knows what they'll give him. On the plus side my twin is converting to Judaism, so we'll be keeping the x-mas celebration low key.

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Nobody's mentioned yet a couple things that are sometimes true of holiday gifts (at least, true of me & Christmas in my house, and I can't believe I'd be the only one who's like this).

1. Gifts don't have to equal consumerism, or send a message of consumerism to the baby/child/recipient. I often give gifts that I make; plenty of times I even make them out of recycled Goodwill materials. My husband has gotten handknit socks, hand-illustrated tarot cards, homemade cookies, etc. The idea of giving of yourself is different, I think, than the idea of giving an item from a store.

2. Gifts are often more for the giver than the receiver. I like giving because I enjoy the appreciation for what I've made or chosen. But in the case of the baby, I also want to "give him" some things for Christmas because I waited a damn long time to have a baby and this is likely my only one, and I - the adult - want some of the cute stuff. *I* want the organic, plant-dyed knitted gnome baby, or the cute little "expedition polaire" jumpsuit. I'm sure Binx couldn't care less, but it will be fun for me and a bit of that kind of fun is fine in my book.

Our boy will be 7 months old at Christmas, and I'll likely be making him a stuffed animal and buying myself some cute stuff "for him."

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To Dutch: My daughter is 10 MONTHS old. Missed word on my part.

CA

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"Hilary, you're being unecessarily sensitive about your decision to lavish gifts upon your child. I don't give a rat's ass what you do for Christmas and I certainly wouldn't waste a second judging it.

...

..Resenting that "toys=love" in this society is not the same as saying "no toys=extra love." That is a fallacy arising from your insecurities apparently agitated by my post."

Nope, no judgement there at all.

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To CA: LOL! I was just thinking, for somebody who doesn't give a "rat's ass" (classy turn of phrase!) what other people do, this gal sure does a lot of preaching! But that must be my insecurity coming out again....

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Actually, Hilary, he`s a "he," not a "she."

And hey, let`s have a contest to see who`s the most over-sensitive and self-obsessed when it comes to our kids (I bet I would win).

We also didn`t "do" Christmas with our kids when they were babies, except for the pretty lights and decorations. Now that they`re older, we more than make up for it, and unapologetically pay homage at the alter of commercialism. God bless America.

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Larissa, if anyone in my family had anywhere near your talent I would be BEGGING for handmade gifts this Christmas. An artist friend of ours in New York made Juniper a handmade hat that is just about the coolest thing I have ever seen and she wears it all the time, and everywhere we go people ask us where we got it. My grandma died a month ago, but before she passed she knitted Juniper a stocking for Christmas with her name on it, just like the stocking she made for me when I was a baby. That stocking will someday mean much more to her than anything we put in it.

Of course I am talking about meaningless plastic junk here, not handmade or personalized gifts. Here's some numbers from the latest Harper's index that sort of support what I'm trying to say:

"Amount the U.S. spends annually on imported toys: $23,631,000,000.

"Amount spent by the next ten highest toy-importing nations combined: $21,729,000,000."

At the very least I think we could inject some moderation into the whole "toy=love" thing, don't you? Because that's a little ridiculous.

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Thanks for the compliment! And yes, I agree "toy=love" is not true. But I also think that "gift=toy" is not necessarily true. And those numbers are amazingly gross.

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Here's the thing: if you (those of you up in arms) are lavishing gifts upon your child, would any of us know about it unless you posted about it?

I mean, really, if you read J.D.'s post and didn't agree, you could simply have said to yourself, "Hm. I don't agree. I'll be giving toys/gifts to my kids this year and I don't care what anyone else thinks of me for it."

Oh, but that's it, isn't it? You *do* care, enough to try to justify your feelings by commenting that J.D. is the anti-christ because he suggests that the whole concept of Christmas has become over-commercialized.

How about being secure enough in your own feelings and opinions to NOT CARE what someone else's innocuous opinions are?

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Ah, Dutch, how I love thee! I didn't buy gifts for the kids first Christmas either, and actually didn't buy more than one or two for my son's second Christmas either. I also don't see the point in spending a lot of money on things that the kid doesn't need, doesn't want, and can't appreciate. I did, however, let the other relatives dole out what they wanted (this, along with hand-me-downs, is how they acquire their wardrobe). This year my son is almost 3 and has a clearer understanding of Christmas, so we are purchasing a few gifts.

Enjoy your holiday!

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Wow, if you think christmas is a bunch of gifts you never understood in the first place.

We bought our sons gifts for their first year, it was a long time ago. I'm sure they don't remember detail, but they experienced joy. The emotions they experience come from the parents every day. If you don't take a chance to let them feel it, expereince it as a positive thing, then the will later conclude it's only about gifts.

I think gifts, meals, families, relgious events, smiles, huggs, and hundreds of others things are what make my christmas. You practice it as a family, as a religious event, gifts included.

My advice is enjoy it when they are very young and they will learn your reaction before they think about gifts.

As a parent we bought a few toys but also clothes, a new stroller. And we as parents loved it. The kids felt us glowing. Then as they grew, they will wanted that same feeling again, and gifts were only part of the glow. It also included the Muppets Christmas movie when they werre toddlers, we had snacks and layed on the floor with pillows. Years later as young adults my boys still do all these little things.

We even sang religious songs and fun ones while we drove and looked at pretty lights......

all these little things were a gift, gifts are not all from walmart

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If I'm not mistaken, the main point seemd to be that going overboard and buying material "things" for an infant who can't fully appreciate them seems to be a waste. What do you think about buying babys safety items or supplies as gifts for parents?

http://www.firstalittletlc.com

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What we did for our son's first christmas was just store up what we bought anyway for a month or so - an outfit, I think socks, some small books or something, and wrapped them up. He didn't really care, but it was wort of fun for us. Of course the grandparents went nuts and he didn't care about that either. We appreciated the clothing.

He is now 3.5 and this is the first year he has really been aware of Christmas in any way and it has been a lot of fun taking him to the tree farm, looking at lights and letting him help decorate.

I asked him last night what he wanted for Christmas and he said "A Christmas card." So, I feel like we are doing ok.

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My mother told me once that when I was little (under five) they and my family would buy me and my brother whatever gifts they could afford, always tried to get us 'good toys', and guess what I played with? Here's a quick list;
* Wrapping paper (great stuff. Bright colours, cool noises, feels crinkly, and I could rip it to shreds with no-one getting mad at me even once)
* Boxes (hey, they weren't 'boxes' man. They were a SPACESHIP and a BOAT and a CASTLE! Use your imagination!)
* Modelling clay (all six strips and 50p worth of it. I loved that stuff. I got quite skilled at making an owl.)
* The dolls I wasn't brought for Christmas anyway (Rosey; Knitted by my grandmother when I was born, and Pip; the £1.99 plastic baby doll from a charity shop dressed in a stained red frock)

I agree that there really is no point buying lavish gifts for kids under four or five. It's not that buying them or not buying them makes people more or less loving parents in my opinion, it's just that it does seem fruitless. Most children play with the packaging more than the actual present, so why not just give them that? I know that I'll be giving my child (if I ever have one) the brightly coloured wrapping paper and shoeboxes with crinkled tissue to play with like someone else suggested until he or she is at least old enough to appreciate other gifts, and be begging for the practical essentials, clothes, nappies etc. that are so expensive from everyone else who feels that they MUST get him/her a gift.

We don't do gifts for adults in my family either. We're too big a clan for it to be affordable. The only member of my closest family this year who is getting a gift will be the dog. I'm getting him a cheap squeaky chew toy, and will wrap it and everything. Course, it'll drive us all nuts for however long it takes him to rip out or wear out the squeaker, but it'll thrill him to bits and it will be worth it.

Christmas, to me, is about the things it SHOULD be about: kindness to others, time together with family and friends, stuffing your face, drinking too much, playing ridiculously stupid and immature games and having a fan-bloody-tastic time.

...Oh, yeah. And the birth of Christ, obviously. Yeah. That too.

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Okay you sound exactly like my boyfriend - cheap!!! I mean the best memories I have of my childhood are of holidays and birthdays and especially Christmas it was so special to all of us. Every Christmas Eve we gathered at my paternal Grandparents house for a huge dinner lots of songs and we'd each get one gift form our parents and one from Grama and Grampa. We would go around the table and each person adult or child would make a Christmas Wish and then we'd have an amazing turkey dinner. Christmas morning my brother and I would get up early and just the gifts in our stockings alone would keep us busy for at least a couple hours before mom and dad got up to watch us open the rest of our gifts. The earliest memories I have of being a child are filled with feelings of warmth and love and closeness of family. I want my daughter to have these feelings as well only ten times over!! This will be her first Christmas and she will be ten months old. She is a very smart baby and she already knows how to open things like bottle, shampoo, cupboard, boxes etc so I know she'll get the hang of tearing open gifts soon enough and if she doesnt remember each and every single gift she received thats ok we will have it saved on our video camera!!! For years to come. Spoil your children just a little bit because they wont be children for long and youll say to yourself if i had it to do over i would have got that Malibu Barbie Doll. Merry Christmas Everyone

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Yes, but mama mary jane, that is the whole point of what Dutch and everyone who agrees with him is trying to say. I have VERY warm memories of Christmas, and yes, they do include the unwrapping of presents, but it's the unwrapping I remember, NOT the presents. I remember decorations and bright coloured paper and crinkling tissue and BOXES (loved me them boxes. The box from the hamper my grandfather gave my mom was the best because it was HUGE) and love and happiness and biscuits and cake and sweets and turkey and nice pop (we usually couldn't afford nice pop. Not REAL pop like Coca-Cola) and getting a teeny-tiny sip of whatever the grownups were having and games and songs and adults getting tipsy and silly and overall immense happiness. I don't remember what ANY of the toys I got were, bar the annual 6 strips of 50p play-doh which I got up until I was 16 (it's gone up to 65p now though. Bloody inflation) or how long I played with them, but I bet it wasn't for long.

Come on. How many of you who did buy your kids under 5 lots of gifts can remember them playing with more than one of them for more than ten minutes before getting bored with it and not touching it again for yonks? Toys like pen and paper and leggo don't count, I mean plastic dolls and figureens and the latest line in whatever the next big cartoon characters are. Think about it. How long was it before those gifts were discarded in favour of something else?

It's a bit like tweens and teens begging to have THE latest fashion to wear and then when you get it for them going off it because that phase has now past and there is something else that they MUST have.
Why start all that so early? Why do it with babies when they have absolutely NO comprehension of what the gift is. You COULD spend a fortune and buy the kid a state of the art Tommy noise centre for him/her to have 'hours of fun' with...Or you could fill empty plastic bottles and tubs with different things that make different noises and give the kid some pans to bang on instead which costs practically nothing if not nothing at all.

Dutch isn't saying that his little baby won't have fun at Christmas. He is not denying her the sights or the smells or the happiness or the joy. He's saying there is no point in buying her lots of mass produced plastic toys when she would have just as much fun, if not more, ripping or crumpling up coloured paper.

Why buy a baby or toddler toys that she doesn't need, understand or want??

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I have a very different complaint about this new "Elmo Knows Your /Name" Well here it is in a nutshell, folks: Elmo DOES NOT know your name!! My daughetrs name is Rose. I know, not that popular, I guess its more obscure than I realized. I swear, out of 15,000 names stored on this CD Rom it comes with, it doesnt have her friend Rianna's name either!!?? It ranks around 700 in the top 1000 baby names for babies born in 2004 according to the SSA (Soc. Sec. Admin.) And my kid, Rose, ranks 360 in poularity of of 1000 names given to babies born in '04 according to the SSA. So you have to wonder, where are they obtaining their names database from exactly? Elmo does include the likes of these names however in his database (I am btw very serious) Here goes:

Schwestertein, Sequita, Sestrickurhacek, Slaughter, Salmon.

OK I swear on anything worth swearing on to the validity that those actual names I listed aboveare listed in the Elmo Knows Your Name database.

And those are in the S section alone. there are many more like these, now I wouldnt put down the name of any kid. But come on, "Rose" wake up and smell a classic name, here Elmo! Oh and I checked with the SSA on some of those names above and others:
NONE of the names I listed above that Elmo includes in his selection of names to choose from in the CD Rom database are included in the top 1000 baby names from both years 2002, 2003 and 2004, the age a toddler would be now, a perfect gift for a toddler. None of those names above. Yet Elmo doesnt have the brains to inlcude the 360th most popular name out of 1000 in the nation: Rose. I just shake my head.

Ok they do have Rosie, but its not the same, we dont call her Rosie. This is the best part tho, after calling customer service regarding this, they say theres nothing they can do about it aside from send me a refund. Does anyone know where Elmo is obtaining his database of kids names from? All I can say is Elmo Does NOT Know Your name, Rose, sorry honey !

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I just loved reading all your opinions! To each is own....I have a girlfriend who doesnt buy anything, and thats ok. Then I have a girlfriend who spends thousands. Which is ok too. I spend moderatley. I also have my son with me all day. I own www.babycave.com, for all you moms who like to spend. Nursery furniture to award winning toys. Go for it!! Mention Baby Blog and receive 10% off. How about that for some savings!! I personally promote spending. LOL

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hello andwow how can you not buy something for your child for christmas did the three wisemen not bring gifts to the new born baby, my daughter was 11 months on her first christmas many moons ago and did i spend, and spend why dont you stop and think about your christmas's that you had as a child

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I am 20 and i still have gifts that i got for my first christmas heck i still have a stuft star that plays music i was given in the hospital when i was born i love and charish these gifts no i dont remember getting them but i do know there are many photos of me as a bald baby enjoying the stuffies and things i was given. everyone is saying they think its silly to lavih a baby with gifts but you buy your baby things the rest of the year and you lavish adults and older childeren or at least get them a few things so who is it going to hurt top by your baby something special not expensive or extravagent but something they will be able to look back on when theyve grown up and moved out. on closing i'd like to say some of you seem a bit stuck on yourself and when you post on a public board you are inviting other to give you their opinions as well and you really need to get over yourself and read the posts with out bias and think about maybe take some of it to heart and leave the rest to just be some ones thoughts on the subject and not take it as a personal attack! ( Just my opinion!)

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