I don't think it's required, but it is a nice thing to do. My great great grandmother was from Peru, but because of the time period, my great grandmother and her siblings were not taught anything about that part of their heritage. I'm into family history, and it always makes me sad that her generation tried to wipe out any trace of her not being white.

One of my friends has a biracial son about my son's age. He's half Chinese, and he's learning to appreciate chinese food along with american food, as well as learning to speak Chinese. His grandparents still live in China, but they send him special boxes on their holidays.

I think maybe it's not quite the culture itself, but the family traditions that get passed down as part of the culture that are so important. When she gets older, she may want to know about her own cultures, or she may not. I would consider introducing a few special traditions for her from her birth family's cultures and take it from there.

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as the mom of three transracially adopted boys, all three african american, i believe raising my boys to be aware of their heritage is somewhat important. but with the blending of cultures in this country, i believe raising them to be decent upstanding citizens with a good education is more important. there's plenty of pressure for young black males to follow the "gangsta" persona, or to be involved in drugs and promiscuous behavior. i want my boys to have a bright future, and the ability to decide what if any cultural traditions they wish to incorporate into their lives. just because many folks of a certain racial or cultural background do something, doesn't mean they all have to do those things. i believe we choose our own traditions and may find different cultures have an appealing aspect to them. case in point, a wedding of the son of a family friend was done in the style of a japanese ceremony, even though neither one of the couple are japanese. things of value and beauty can be found everywhere, not just in one's own backyard.

Michele

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Our daughter will be Asian American, not white, and will need to be comfortable with her racial identity. She does not have parents that look like her. So, how do we go about this?

Well, we could pretend that she is white (which was done in the past and is still the mantra for some parents- colorblind society) or we can help her become comfortable with her Asian American idenitity.

One of the chief compliants/ critisms from Korean adult adoptees is that at some point in their lives they were very confused about how they fit into the world being raised white, but looking Asian American. Many adult Korean adoptees are complimenting white parents for making efforts in regards to teaching their Asian children about their culture (rather than pretending that race or birthculture doesn't matter.)

Another point of discontent with Korean adoptees is not being able to speak the language. Yes, I listen to Korean adoptees because I think they have a lot of insight into a world that non adopted, non miniority parents can't understand. (That said, I don't agree with every single thing just because a person is adopted.)

Additionally, I don't think our daughter should associate everything Chinese with adoption. Therefore, we will make a good effort to integrate her into the Chinese non-adopted community-- to the extent that they (the Asian American community) allows us in.

But there is a fine line, no? I mean, we don't want to continually make everything about her being different. Her being Chinese. I think adoptive parents can get carried away thinking that doing tons of Chinese stuff it will magically be the fix. Further, I think this has to be done as a family. I never understood how parents dress their Chinese girls up in traditional outifts, but not the parents. It's equalivent to putting Chinese trinkets in the child's room, but no where else in the house.

So, yes, it does matter especially when both parents do not share their child's hertiage, especially race... but on the other hand it has to be done with balance. Not easy and probably at times imperfect.

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I've been concerned about this as well; probably more than I should be. It's not adoption but I'm raising three great-granddaughters who are "mixed". Heck, we're all "mixed" one way or the other. I've thought about it enough to write my own post on the subject a couple of weeks ago.

Some people believe that this is a "bad" thing and that children should always be raised with their own race to maintain their heritage.

In my case, it was either me or the "system" and the system was out of the question. Their maternal grandmother was not physically able to do it and I was. We do the best we can and they seem to be happy and well adjusted. I do as much as can to teach them about their heritage but I can't walk in their shoes.

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Well, my kids will learn to use chopsticks and they love japanese curry. But they're not Japanese.

My son loves burritos and my daughter loves the rice we get along with the burritos. My son speaks some spanish. But they're not hispanic.

My son loves Uncle Hans who lives in Munich. He can count in German and understands when I tell him "comst du hier". But he's only partly German.

We listen to South African a capella, Texas Blues, and italian opera, but we're none of those.

And yet, we're all of them, and more. The neat thing about living in the US is that all of these cultures are part of OUR culture. The more of these cultures we teach our kids about, the better off they will be. Regardless of our kids genetic background, all of these are our cultural background.

My kids will learn about George Washington and George Washington Carver. I wouldn't limit any kid to learning about a single culture.

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I answered this on my blog. :)

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