New study: period before divorce just as hard on kids as aftermath
Categories: Development
Everyone knows that divorce can be extremely tough on the children of the separating parents, but a new Canadian study shows that the period leading
up to the actual divorce can be just as hard on the kids. The study tracked 2,800 children from two-parent
homes, and concluded that in the years before any separation, those whose parents eventually divorced tended to
show higher levels of depression, anxiety and behavior problems. The study further found that these behavior problems
can continue after the divorce, but tended to fade with time.
The conclusion of Dr. Lisa Strohschein, the study's author, is that, "we should pay more attention to what happens to kids in the period leading up to parental divorce rather than directing all our efforts to helping children after the event occurs." That's not to say that kids are better off after a divorce. According to Strohschein, children's symptoms of depression and anxiety generally worsened even if behavior problems declined. The conclusion of the study doesn't provide much relief to divorced parents, who often struggle with the effects of their decision on their kids. However, it does call into question the assumption that it is the divorce event itself that is necessarily damaging to children's mental health.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Ann Adams 12-23-2005 @ 3:37PM
This took a study? Kids aren't blind or stupid. They know when something is wrong and they're quick to blame themselves.
They're sitting around waiting for the other shoe. Even if it never falls, any stressful time in a family affects kids.
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AndreainJapan 12-24-2005 @ 2:54AM
But you are a good granny Ann.
I love my grandparents but during my parents five years of hell seperation I had one set of grandparents that stepped back and let us deal with it ourselves and the other that were in there and playing dirty.
My father was a family court councilor and knew what was going on between us but when he tried to help the other grandparents pointed accusing fingers and my mother just used it as fodder for the fire. No one really paid attention to what was happening to the three of us. They only patted our backs after but during they acted as if we were fine with all that was happening. I was 19 when it finally finished, how could I possiblly be fine?
Stress changes people, it made me turn mean. I didnt talk to certain members of my family for years including my mom, and have not spoken to one aunt since she told me that the stress from 'her sisters' (my mothers) divorce made her drop out of university. I stared at her then turned and walked away.
The result; my brother talks to noone, my sister died in a foregn country (meningitis) and I moved to Japan. We all ran to escape the stress.
The study says that children eventually get over it but we never ever really do. It is 14 years for me and honestly I still stress about it.
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Ann Adams 12-24-2005 @ 7:20PM
We will talk (virtually) more after the holidays ok? Their grandma on their mom's side is a good granny as well although we're very different.
We worked together when everything was going wrong. We agreed on priorities and even though one or the other may have raised an eyebrow from time to time, we never exchanged a cross word.
Nothing can totally insulate kids from that kind of pain and I'm sure my girls have some internal scarring. But there is much that can be done by parents (and grandparents) to minimize the shock. Some parents and grandparents don't for whatever their reasons and that makes me angry. Put the kids first.
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