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One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish: Shoot me now
Oh no. Oh dear. Not that again!From Dr. Seuss' wicked pen!
No Cat in the Hat, no Horton, no Who -
Just 63 pages of fish who are blue,
Of Gacks and of Gumps,
Of Yings and of Mikes,
Of creatures so frightening
My son is all like,
"Daddy, please turn it!
"That page creeps me out!"
And please, do pray tell,
What's this story about?
A tale takes two pages
Or four pages tops;
Then another begins,
And from my mouth plops
A gibbering sound,
A stutter of fear
That reading this book
Might take all freaking year.
I cannot skip pages,
I cannot tell a lie:
I must utter each word,
Though I feel I may die.
So the next time they pick this?
Forget it! Pick Sendack,
Where the Wild Things Are -
Take that other book back!
You want red and blue fish?
No way! Fly a kite!
Go bump on the hump
Of a Gump! Now, good NIGHT!










ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
1-05-2006 @ 11:32AM
Alice said...Even though I personally am a fan of Dr. Seuss, I love you for that.
Reply
1-05-2006 @ 12:03PM
Jamie said...This is hilarious! My vote for the most headache-inducing Dr. Seuss book, though, is Hop On Pop.
Reply
1-05-2006 @ 1:50PM
Ann Adams said...The all time winner is Fox in Socks.
There is no way to read that thing without breaking up and having the kids in hysterical hiccups.
Reply
1-06-2006 @ 12:51PM
CG said...This is so great! We received four Dr. Seuss books for Christmas and this was one of them. I was just reading it yesterday and thinking the same thing ("shoot me now"). Same with the Green Eggs & Ham book -- that Sam-I-Am character is a real nuisance!
Reply
1-06-2006 @ 1:20PM
Jay Allen said...I'm down with Sam I Am. At least that book only has two characters from beginning to end! ONE FISH just feels like one gaping bottomless pit of Seuss.
Reply