We're still working on Alena's lifebook. I just went and got a regular photo-album type scrapbook; nothing real fancy, but I know there are a lot of people who go scrapbook-happy with their lifebooks.



Since I've had my blog, I've gone with the idea of using some of the entries as lifebook material, with pictures of what I've written about. A lot of the adoption-related stuff is deliberately vague, so I've added some things to the entries, just for Alena and us.

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I'm thinking of having a digital one printed, using a service like http://www.sharedink.com. That way I'll have archival scanned copies of everything, and if the first copy gets ruined -- left out in the rain, lost, or otherwise loved too hard -- I can print a new one. And I won't have to find a place to store the materials for a scrapbooking habit.

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Fundamentally I'm lazy. :)



I have a life book half-done for the oldest, and another one well started for the youngest. I really need to get back to working on them...



In our case, we feel it's especially important because of that lack of a ongoing connection with India (since it's WAAAAY over there, and were closed adoptions of course). I've got pictures taken of the orphanage, and the ladies that work there caring for the babies, as well as pictures of other babies in the orphanage. Along with all the pictures we received while waiting for the paperwork to complete, of course. Since for our second adoption we got to visit India ourselves, we now have more pictures to add of the city and such. My oldest daughter (6) loves to look at the pictures and ask me to tell the story of how we got her over and over again. I so wish I had even just a picture of her birthmother, but at least when she's older I can show her the copy I made for the book of her birthmother's neatly written name and signature.

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I come from the other end of this. My sister recently gave up her 1-year old daughter for adoption. The baby had been living in a foster home since she was 6 days old and knows her foster family as her family. This is like an open adoption because my sister had supervised visitation during that time.

Well, the new mom asked to contact me because I have my sister's two older boys living with me. She told me this is not the first time they've adopted a child this way. She explained the concept of a life book, which she has made for all of her other children and asked if I could send photos for it. We are also having the older boys make drawings for her to go in her book. Their counselor and I think it is a good way for them to cope with the fact that they may not ever see her again. Also, my mom, who is having a hard time with all of this, has written a letter for the book.

I think it is a great idea for both families. If you can include letters and/or photos from the birth family, it could be a good connection with the past (ex. “Look, you have the same nose!”). For the birth family, the process of choosing photos, drawing pictures and writing letters is a good way of letting go. It helped me tremendously to speak with the new mom and know that this is a good family, and to know that this baby will always have that connection to her past.

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I'm a birthmom, and my son's adoptive parents have life books for both of their children. That was one of the things I liked about them at the outset, that they had made the fact of their daughter's adoption such a non-issue by telling her about it from a young age (when I met her at age 2.5 she already was cognizant of it...she said "I grew in my birthmommy's belly" while admiring my bulging middle.).

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i'm a birthmother. during the last 6 weeks of my pregnancy, i kept a journal entitled "dear kiddo". that way he'll know, in conjunction with the baby book his parents were/are keeping, what "we" were doing prior to his birth.

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