Has becoming a parent changed your mind about abortion?

I think the main problem here is this is not a black and white issue while society certianly tries to make it so.Every situation is so different there are many shades of grey. Personally though I think abortion should be the LAST considered option. I wish more would be done in the way of prevention of pregnancy, or education about adoption. I am a mother today because three very selfless young women who faced this situation chose NOT to have an abortion and I have three wonderful children. I so THANKFUL for these precious lives and grateful their birth mothers had the courage to give them that life.

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Deb said, "I think the main problem here is this is not a black and white issue while society certianly tries to make it so."

In reality, it *is* a black and white issue. It's a life and death issue. Either it is a human life or it isn't. If it is life, abortion is wrong.

Back in the day, the argument that "it's just a clump of cells" was very powerful. Most people really didn't know *what* was going on in there. These days, we can see from very, very early on that there is a tiny human being inside. Many people are still ignorant to this fact, though.

Being wanted does not determine humanity. Being the product of rape doesn't, either. Mom's feelings really have nothing to do with the fact of the pregnancy, only what she is going to do about it. Unfortunately, there are many people telling women that there isn't a baby, only a choice. That's a sad lie. I'm sure many women would still abort, knowing full well what is really growing in them. That's sad, but it doesn't mean their choice is right or good.

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I'm a mother of 2 unplanned pregnacys. I thought about having an abortion with my 1st. I even went as far as going to set it all at the hospital. Something just wouldn't let me do it, even though I really felt I didn't want to keep him. I figured I would go back to my regular life after I had him which was partying about every night.
The 1st time I held him and looked into his eyes I felt so much love for him. I loved him more than anything in the world. He is 1 now and I still cry when I think about the mistake I almost made. How could I have been so selfish?
Yes, having a baby has changed my opinion. I think its wrong to have an abortion. Everyone knows the consequences of having sex so if you can't face them then don't do it. A life is growing inside you and only God has the right to make it die if he chooses. The doctors should go to jail for murder. I think it's easy to think it will be easier to not have the baby or better not to have it when its an unplanned preg. but if the mother has any feelings then she will and should regret it the rest of her life.

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I'm 11 weeks pregnant with an unplanned pregnancy. I had a handful of options IMO. I could keep the baby and raise it, I could terminate the pregnancy, I could give it up for adoption, I could give it to the father's family to raise and drop out if it's life. I've chosen to have the baby with the help of it's father.

I am pro-choice. I have always felt that it should be available to women but I could never have one. That's my CHOICE. That's what having a CHOICE is all about.

I get so angry at these legislators that try to say that because of legal abortions and birth control pills women feel they can do whatever they want. I feel that men have had the CHOICE for centuries that women haven't had. They can CHOOSE to have sex without commitment, impregnante someone, and not stick around to be a father. On the other hand, the woman is raped, becomes pregnant, and raises the child alone. OK- she's not always raped, but it does happen. Where was her CHOICE?

It seems to me that men are angry that they no longer could be the dictators of a woman's reproductive health. The ability to have abortions and choose birth control has put it into a woman's hands also. This way we can be proactive regarding our lives too as men had always done. It's not a shifting of the tide, it's finally a boundary of "fair."

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As a man I clearly don't have a good position to comment on this subject - but being in the process of adoption I thought I'd throw in my two cents.

I have always considered myself pro-choice. My entire family is full of extremely confident, empowered women who all consider themselves pro-choice. I have been a part of many discussion regarding abortion - to me the issue always appeared cut and dry... ultimately the choice should be the in the hands of the person who is pregnant. Honestly, I never understood why it was such an intense issue.

Now, I'm finally begining to understand why. Going through the adoption process - much of my future life depends on a pregnant person choosing to give birth to her child and then - out of love - give that child to me to raise. Every week I go to a support group of other hopefull adoptive parents... all of us are financially stable, taken multiple parenting classes, passed extensive scrutiny of our private lives, and have paid large sums of money for the chance of having a child given to us. From an extremly selfish standpoint I think to myself - why can't this person, who in many cases just made a simple mistake, manage through the nine months and give someone else an amazing gift? It's a choice of love. It's a choice that makes a mistake a miracle.

On the other hand - I know I would never want someone to tell me what I can and can not do with my body. I also know that there are some people who could never make the decision to give thier child up for adoption - and to force that kind of person to raise a child is a mistake for both the mother and the child.

So, I guess that leaves me still being pro-choice. Perhaps people that focus so much on taking away other peoples rights should focus on educating people on thier choice. I have to believe that if potential birthmothers knew exactly how rewarding and amazing it can be to make a mistake a miracle there would be more people choosing adoption.

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I have always been pro-life for the simple reason that my mother gave me life, why should I deny it to my offspring? I empathize very much with Tricia. Due to several series of x-rays in her third month of pregnancy (thanks to a false negative on a pregnancy test prior to the x-rays), she was given nothing but the worst prognosis for me. She's kept the ultrasound photo that shows me at about 7 months along and I have no legs. Dr's gave me only 2% chance of surviving my first year. They told my parents I was going to be a mongoloid (they actually used the term "monster"), have severe water-on-the-brain (waterhead?), and would need to be put in a facility. Thankfully, my parents believed in a God of 2% and I was born perfectly healthy and have remained healthy throughout my life. While waiting for my (positive) pregnancy test at a P/P, I was leafing through the notebooks they keep in their waiting rooms and it brought me to tears how the majority of girls were using abortion as birth control. That is NOT right. People say that abortion should be legal... what if a woman's raped or there's incest? Yet, what percentage of abortions are actually for those reasons? As much birth control as we have in this country, and as accessable as it is, why must we destroy a life because the pregnancy doesn't convenience us or it comes at a bad time? I just can't wrap my mind around it. By the way, I am now a teen mom and so very proud of it.

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I would like to say that I don't understand why no one mentions the sex that comes before the baby. I think women that choose to have sex should accept what could result from it. I understand not wishing a child on someone who doesn't want it, but it's not like you get pregnant from a virus or bad food. We have the choice to have sex. I think we should not have the choice to take an innocent child's life. Really, what is the difference between a child you want at one point in your life and a child you don't want at another point in your life. If you miscarried that child you wanted, you would be crushed.

Having my children has only reinforced my pro-life stance. You can call me conservative. I am so proud to be a conservative American.

I have two sisters who were each forced into abortions in their teen years by my alcoholic mother. They both have children now. I can't put into words the pain and anguish that pours out of them when they just have to talk about what happened to them. I would do anything to have those children in my life now. I would do anything to go back in time and take my sisters from my mother's care. I would have found a way to help them out.

Why is adoption not even an option? Do the research on how abortions affect the women who have them. Ten months of being uncomfortable and the delivery of a baby is a small amount of time compared to a lifetime of pain and regret. Also, why do women have more than one abortion. Why can't they say no to sex? Abortions just give people chance after chance after chance. Abortion should not be used as birth control.

If I offended anyone, I'm sorry. I think each point I've made should make just about anyone really think about what it means to abort a child.

Thanks for letting me speak my mind.

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Wow such a heated topic. Having been through the pain of pondering what to do when we realized we were going to have a "surprise" 3rd baby, I could never take that choice away from someone else. We had been married 8 years and our youngest at the time was just turning 15months and doing for herself. We were just barely keeping our heads above water financially, and soon after finding out about the baby my husband lost his job. The emotional turmoil and pain we went through I wouldn't wish on anyone. But I was grateful to know that I could ultimatly decide what to do. Yes I am a Christian. But I wouldn't make anyone carry a pregnancy that they don't want. It just isn't fair to that woman to go through the hardest 9 months of your life as well as the raising. Do I love my Children? Absolutely! Would I give them up? Not a chance! Can I tell someone else what to do? No way. My ultra conservative Grandfather once said to me "I can't tell my wife what to wear, why should I get to say what a woman can do to her body?" Interesting ponder coming from him. To the Pro-life people saying not to have sex, do you really think you could tell a husband, "sorry honey no nookie for you I don't want to get knocked up." Not so much I'm thinking. At least for now it's still legal and clean option to do what you want to do. Is it better to outlaw abortion and have women in back alleys, crossing borders, or finding the handiest tool to end a pregnancy? I hope that my daughter never has to worry about options.

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I have always supported abortion mainly because there are so many circumstances that deserve it. Notice I didn't say justify. I am 21. I had my son at 19. Within months my partner and I were expecting again due to my own stupidity. We were and are such a low income family that middle class can't even see us, figuratively speaking. I had an abortion. Since I had gained 85 pounds with my son, and was pushing 300 I told my family that the doctor had insisted upon it for health concerns. It was a lie, the biggest most horrible lie that I have ever told or heard of. Never the less I believe that my family would have disowned me for the truth. Which was simply we could not afford it. With six people in a single wide trailer, 2 of whom are diabled and cannot work, we would have starved for shure. I regret it every day, but I still beleve in abortion. For people whose reasons are the same as mine were, and for the rape victims, and for weomen with children who really do have health issues. I believe that I did not make a choice for one child over another, but for a chance for any child at all.

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I did a lot of soul searching after the birth of my first daughter. It was a very, very easy pregnancy and birth (so much so I felt guilty). In fact, I often say she saved my life because during my pregnancy I stopped drinking, started eating better, napping on a regular basis and I made sure to drink plenty of water. I've never felt better in my life! She was one week over due so we scheduled her delivery and had to induce labor. Early on I decided to have the epidural rather than whimp out later on and request a narcotic that would only put her to sleep. I had the epidural right away so I didn't really experience any labor pains. I was told that having a "natural" birth was much more traumatic for both baby and mother. It turned out to be true. She was the the most "mellow" baby the nurses had ever seen and continued to be once we got her home. Her birth was a pleasant experience. The same cannot be said for the birth of my second daughter. It was a troubled pregnancy from the beginning. Because of a thyroid condition I had to have blood drawn weekly and ultra sounds every month. She too was one week over due and came so quickly there was no time to even admit me into the hospital, let alone get an epidural. Everything about the experience was traumatic and she didn't stop crying for 3 months after we brought her home.

My point is this, it was my choice and I'd choose to do it again even if I knew the out come of each experience before hand.

LIFE IS PRECIOUS, BUT WOMEN SHOULD BE ABLE TO CHOOSE.
That said abortion is by no means a form of birth control.
ANGELINA WROTE:
" I was very pro-life because thats how I was raised until I got pregnant at 16 and had to make the hard decision to give my child up for adoption."
2 years later you kept a child and six months after that birth you had an abortion.

It's difficult for me to understand how someone who was raised Pro Life could end up getting pregnant at 16. I would assume that you were raised Anti Premarital sex as well, but that didn't stop you from having unprotected sex at 16. And again at 18 and again six months after that birth. Either that or you had a run of bad luck with broken condoms. I'm rather glad you were of the Pro Life persuasion though. It would piss me off to think that someone could choose abortion and not learn anything from it. It's interesting to see how you went through all three experiences (adoption, keeping a child, and abortion) and how in the end your opinion changed to Pro Choice. I think that qualifies your opinion.

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I personally do not like abortion. I have one daughter and a baby on the way. It can be hard at times but I did spread my legs (hubby and I never wanted kids, the first was unplanned). We are a happy family now though.
I find it amusing, though, that christians preach about not getting an abortion because God is the one that gave us "free choice" in the first place. We are responsible to Him and not to man, so whatever people choose to do - we have no right to judge or condemn or any other such thing...
That's just my two cents!

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William, the fact that you are a man most definitely does not negate your opinion. Do you have an opinion on rape? Maternity leave laws?

Abortion is a moral issue, not a women's issue. It's about life and death, not choice.

If killing someone is against your moral code, the fact that the victim happens to live inside his/her mother's body does not mean that you have no right to say "this is wrong".

LMD, you are mighty cynical about why men are against abortion. That doesn't come close to explaining why there are so many women who are against abortion. "Men don't want women to enjoy free sex so that means it's ok for women to kill their babies." That just doesn't make sense.

Someone else asked about pregnancies resulting from rape. These are rare because they pretty much only happen if the woman has ovulated in the 24 hours before the rape. If the woman is about to ovulate, such a trauma shuts down her system and delays ovulation. Mother Nature's pretty smart that way.

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I had 3 abortions between the ages of 16 to 26. I felt I was making the right choice each time even though I was heartbroken with each pregnancy. At 28, I gave birth, 12 weeks early, to my daughter. After going through her pregnancy, my views changed dramatically. Following her little life from the beginning changed how I viewed the start of a life.

While I don't believe the male dominated government should tell women what to do with their bodies, I would never encourage anyone to abort their baby. I would rather see them choose adoption. I grieve to this day for the three little lives I chose to end before they began.

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My opinion did change, until my life was potentially threatened by a pregnancy. It was a risk I was unwilling to take, considering my other two children. But with continued restrictions placed on abortion rights, I may have been forced to take that risk.



So it changed and then changed again.

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My opinion has never waivered.



I would think it is difficult for anyone to speculate on what they lost when it was #1, their choice and #2, when it is nearly impossible to reflect on how your life would have be different.



It would be like wondering, in retrospect, how your life would have been different had you not married the person you married. It is such a radically different path, it is beyond real speculation.



Regrets aren't something I give a lot of weight, as they serve no purpose.

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I probably have no business leaving a comment considering my age but when has that ever stopped me.



I separate my personal feelings from my feelings about choice. My personal feeling is that abortion should be a last choice, not a first. But I believe even more strongly that the decision should be left up to the woman.



I gave up a baby for adoption at 15. I had an early abortion, for medical reasons, at 40. In between, I had five kids, 9 & 5/9 grandchildren, and three great grandchildren. To this day, I don't know which was more difficult; the adoption or the abortion. I don't take either lightly. Regret is the wrong word; maybe sorrow is closer. Both were a long time ago. And yes, I sometimes wonder "what if" - in both cases.



Heart wrenching as the abortion was for me personally, I was grateful that Roe was the law of the land and that I was treated with compassion and dignity in a safe, clean environment.



I don't want other women to lose that so I keep speaking out. Meantime, let's work on sex education, medical care, poverty, and making every child a wanted child.



Hitting add comments before I change my mind and hit delete instead.

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I found out when I was 17 that my mother had an abortion when I was 2 or 3. This was incredibly devastating to me. I do agree with Mother Theresa that "it's a poverty that a child should die so you can live the way you want."



But I don't think the answer is in outlawing abortion. It's just cutting the fruit off the tree. We have to get down the roots of the tree and figure out why there are so many unwanted pregnancies.



I also think there should be more alternatives for women who choose to give their babies over to someone who can take care of them. Or maybe there should just be more loving people to take care of them.



Either way, I wish I had my brother or sister now.

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Pregnancy strengthened my pro-choice views. Mine wasn't even particularly hard...no real morning sickness, no health issues or GD or anything. But it was intense, and emotional, and physically exhausting...and then there's the birth, and then the baby. I would never, never, in a million years tell a woman she *had* to go through that against her will.



You can **die** in childbirth or its complications--even in America, even with good medicine, that's a very real risk. And no one should **ever** force a woman to take that risk. The risks attached to abortion are much much smaller.



I love my son, and he was a very wanted child, and I still had difficulty. I can't imagine if having him were something I hadn't planned or didn't want and were forced to do.

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I was very pro-life because thats how I was raised until I got

pregnant at 16 and had to make the hard decision to give my child up

for adoption. At that point I realized why women had fought for legal

abortions. It takes an incredible amount of courage and pain to take a

mistake and give it life. Not everyone is up to that.nnThe

grief that I felt resulted in a child I kept 2 years later. Still not

mature enough, but we manage and I have raised him to 14 and he is my

sunshine. I got pregnant again when he was 6 months old and thank God

I had a clean, legal clinic to go to. My body nor my checkbook were

ready for the consequences.nn1. All these decisions were

personal and hard, but were the right choice for the time. Personal

choices should never have to be debated as the right and wrong of

law.n2. The input of male parties whom never have babies had

little influence. The fact that they make laws and have so much

influence over these matters really pisses me off. n3. No one

can wear your shoes the same way that you do.

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I was very pro-life because thats how I was raised until I got

pregnant at 16 and had to make the hard decision to give my child up

for adoption. At that point I realized why women had fought for legal

abortions. It takes an incredible amount of courage and pain to take a

mistake and give it life. Not everyone is up to that.nnThe

grief that I felt resulted in a child I kept 2 years later. Still not

mature enough, but we manage and I have raised him to 14 and he is my

sunshine. I got pregnant again when he was 6 months old and thank God

I had a clean, legal clinic to go to. My body nor my checkbook were

ready for the consequences.nn1. All these decisions were

personal and hard, but were the right choice for the time. Personal

choices should never have to be debated as the right and wrong of

law.n2. The input of male parties whom never have babies had

little influence. The fact that they make laws and have so much

influence over these matters really pisses me off. n3. No one

can wear your shoes the same way that you do.

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