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Celebrating your child's adoption/coming home day
Filed under: Adoption, Development/Milestones: Babies
My daughter Alex was adopted in an open adoption -- meaning, we had (and have) a relationship with her
birthmother. Because of this arrangement, Alex's birthmother invited us to be present at Alex's birth -- my
husband, Marcus, even cut the umbilical chord. And, thanks in part to Texas state adoption law, Alex came home
with us two days later, coming straight to our house the day she was discharged from the hospital.Because Alex was living with us by the time she was about 48 hours old, it has never dawned on me to celebrate the day she was "officially" our daughter. Her birthday is the day that we all celebrate -- it's the day we all felt like a family. For us, she became our daughter the moment we watched her take her first breath -- not when the judge's gavel legally made us a family six months later.
I know, however, that our experience is very different from many other adoptive families. For families who adopt older children, or who adopt internationally, that special day may be a long time after their children's birthday. Recently, someone who was adopted commented on Blogging Baby that celebrating the day she came to be a part of her family was as important to her as her birthday. I think she raises a valid point -- for some who were adopted, the celebration of this day is appropriate, because this was truly the most exciting day of their lives.
So, I'm curious: how do you celebrate the day your child became a part of your family?
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
1-15-2006 @ 10:25AM
Jenn said...I don't have any adopted children, but was adopted myself. My family never celebrated anything except my birthday. I was brought to my adoptive family at the age of 1 month, and officially adopted at 9 months.
Things have changed a lot since then, though, and adoption is treated very differently. I always knew I was adopted, and my parents were always perfectly fine with talking to me about it, and supportive in my decisions regarding finding information on my birthfamily, but it was just never a big deal.
Reply
1-15-2006 @ 12:34PM
niki said...I was born on March 6th, and brought home 11 days later on St. Patrick's Day, biologically I was half Irish even though my parents who adopted me were Greek.
So every St. Patrick's Day my Dad would leave me a special present on my pillow for when I woke up and then they would take me out later to celebrate.
We live really far apart now, but my Dad calls me on my "special day" every year :).
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1-15-2006 @ 2:58PM
Melinda said...My friend Ashley went into labor yesterday. I'd known she was close to it. My friend Caiti called me about it and told me she had something to tell me about Ashley and the baby, but she'd tell me on the way. Well, it turns out that Ashley is giving up the baby for adoption. She wasn't even going to look at the baby when it was born. Had I known this before we were at the hospital, I would NOT have brought my own 7-month old girl with me to visit Ashley (while she was still in labor). Also, it turns out that Ashley's husband is VERY against giving the baby up, but she wants to for financial reasons. So it seems like it would have been more salt in the wound having my baby there. What should I have done? Is it ok to have a new baby in the room when a woman is about to give her own away? I felt like a complete ass the whole time we were there and after we left.
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