Blogging Baby Size Six: things I miss since becoming a parent
I love, love, love my boys and can't imagine life without them. But sometimes I can imagine the things I
could do if I wasn't so tied down. Not forever mind you. An hour, a day, a long weekend without kids... could
be just lovely. Here are the top six things I miss most about being a mama:
- Spur-of-the-moment trips. Once upon a time, I could decide to go to New York, or London, or the beach, and as long as I had four or five hundred bucks' availability on my credit card, I was there. Now there are car seats and full fare for two years-and-up and babysitters and diapers and, oh my, I'll just watch the Travel Channel.
- Getting one thing at the grocery store. Unless I'm cooking a leisurely dinner, my husband is present and accounted for, and at least one child is napping, I can't just up and run to the grocery store to get oil-cured olives or Cotes du Rhone or plain yogurt. It's a full-fledged trip or I skip it.
- Eating at the bar. Happy Hour used to be so great. Drink specials, cheap-and-yummy appetizers, and great conversation. Ha! Now Happy Hour is when naptime precedes dinner.
- Running late at night with my husband. We used to go on regular three-mile runs after an 8 p.m. dinner. Now running has to be on the calendar along with "date night" and requires a full-fledged child care action plan. Is it any wonder I haven't run for two weeks?
- Swearing for comedic effect. I used to use the occasional, well-placed s.h.i.t. or f-bomb just because it was funny. Now I only swear if I'm truly, truly angry. And that is not a good thing.
- Sleeping until 1 p.m. Ha! My kids are lovely late sleepers - they often don't get out of bed until 9:30 a.m. But remember when you could stay in bed until after lunchtime on Saturdays? Oh, how I long to just do that one. time.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 7)
pamster 1-19-2006 @ 2:24PM
I miss most now: taking a shower alone-especially after a stressful day! Ever since my one year old saw me get into the shower she INSISTS on joining me.... and she hogs all the water too! (if I take the hose to rinse off she'll sit there looking up at me, holding her hands straight out, palms up with the most puzzled look on her face)
Everytime she watches me wash my hair or shave my legs she always gotta ask "wha'do?", "wha'do?". Then when I dry off it's "wha'do?" again! Every single night! I gotta love it though, even if it can drive me nuts.
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maria 1-19-2006 @ 4:06PM
Depends on any given day or moment - but overall I think I miss most:
Working out - or at least the body I had when I worked out like a fiend... That size 4 petite is gone forever.
Happy hour - just leaving after work and going out for a few drinks
Most of all tho - not worrying - I never realized how little I worried and now there's always a pain in the pit of my stomach about something - sigh - and my Mom tells me that never ever goes way
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Stan 1-22-2006 @ 5:12PM
Intimacy with my wife. Where did it go? It was all over the place before a child, now I can't find it with a search warrant! I just don't understand the extreme change. Thanks.
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Jen 1-22-2006 @ 8:29PM
I use to want children. Now I feel I waited to long. At 37, I know I could never go to a life filled with someone elses' needs. I can do all of these things you miss. But I will never have the benefits that your children give you...that unconditional love. You can escape for the day with the help of a loved one to babysit and experience what I do....But I cannot do the same. I know you guys were not complaining...and have no regrets (nor do I). I just really want to say I admire you all for being great parents and dedicating your lives to another human being.
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Kristen 1-22-2006 @ 8:33PM
I'd have to say i miss my showers alone,I never had a size 4 i was however a 16. now i'm a 24 and just don't have the power to loose the weight. and i miss the sex(with my hubby),cuddling,nites out,list goes on...on...on!! I love my son!! i would change nothing
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Melissa 1-22-2006 @ 8:36PM
I hear you girl! I have 3 kids under 3 and I don't remember the last time I showered before 11pm at night! Most of all I miss dates with my hubby. No one wants to take on my 3 little ones. I also miss our spur of the moment trips to Vegas, sleeping in until 2pm on Saturdays, listening to my cd's or raido in the car(now it's Barney and other kids movies on the DVD player), girls night out, roller coasters at the amusment park(my kids are to little to ride), quiet dinners out, and going to the movies with my friends and husband. With all of that said, my life is now more fullfilling and exciting because I have kids! I wouldn't trade it to have all the things I miss back again!!!
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Nancy 1-22-2006 @ 8:39PM
I miss my own identity!!! Everywhere I go now, I'm my daughter's mother. Where did I go?!! I miss dancing, dancing, dancing and playing loud music and working out without having to share the equipment with my seven year old! I miss that extra half hour in the morning to pamper myself and have quiet time. I miss watching tv without cartoons and reading books that don't have rhymes in them. I miss having time to do my homework because my first grader has so much!!! I love her more than all the huckleberries in the world though!!!! Nancy
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Bridget 1-22-2006 @ 8:43PM
Oh, the thing I miss the most....being able to just get up and go when a friend calls to go out....movies, bar, dinner, whatever! Now, its "gimmie a weeks notice to get a sitter". But my son's smile is worth every night in:)
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kate 1-22-2006 @ 8:47PM
Intimacy during the day! Some days by the time my daughter is in bed, I've lost the mood and am too tired to desire to revive it. Also, waking up at the crack of dawn on a Sunday morning!
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Ron W. Skilton 1-22-2006 @ 8:47PM
Hi Parents...
Listen guys and gals, I have been a parent since 1987. My youngest is now 12 with a 16 and 18.
Why are we even talking about missing the things we may have done before parenthood!
The simple truth is that once you decide to and become a parent, your lifestyle will and should change forever ... we should not complain about it and or moan about the things we miss. Because what has taken the place of what we may think we miss, the kids, are more precious than all the things we could ever think we miss all put together!...
I lost my wife to heaven in 2001 from a rare illness at the young age of 42... she is the only pre kids thing that I do miss of course... My life style changed in 1987 when my first son was born, and I never looked back and I have never thought about the things I could miss that was a part of my life style before God's blessings, the kids, came into my life...
So suck it up... Cry me a river, build a bridge, and get over it!... and move on as it's all about the kids and loving your current life style...It's about what was..., it's about what is!
God bless... Ron
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michele 1-22-2006 @ 8:53PM
I very much miss alone time with my husband. Especially on Sunday afternoons!!
I also loved watching the Today show, Katies was like my best friend. Now it's Barney and Elmo
Having time to read a good book would be great too.
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Laura 1-22-2006 @ 8:53PM
I miss sleeping throughout the night, without waking to babies yelling, bigger kids coughing, bad dreams etc. etc. etc. . . . .Everytime I'm in the middle of a great Patrick Dempsey dream - WHAM - I'm awake!!!!
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Myra 1-22-2006 @ 8:53PM
What I miss the most is all the things you guys are now experiencing. I miss holding my baby boy and cuddling. I miss reading him a book. I miss my little girl, who also took showers with me and would never, stop talking, even in the shower. All of her questions were about conversations she heard me have with my friends. So why didn't he come home last night mama? Did he have a sleepover at another lady's house? ha!ha!
So I had to code my conversations. My children are adults now, and living very far away. Time flies so enjoy the moment.
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Breda 1-22-2006 @ 8:58PM
I did not have my first child until I was married for 12 years. We always joke about her being the "best mistake we ever made" that we decided to make another "mistake!" My girls are the best things that ever happened to me and my husband. Our oldest daughter went off to college this past August and we miss her terribly (although technology has allowed us to stay in touch). My younger daughter is still in HS and I'm glad that she is still around for me to "shower with love." My husband and I absolutely adore our girls. They changed our lives...for the better...and I couldn't imagine life without them...they are the best...and they make us complete as a family. All the stuff you miss will come back before you know it.
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Sisu 1-22-2006 @ 9:01PM
Having 2 kids in my 30's, I mostly miss my figure. As well as taking a long walk. Going swimming. Eating food while it is still hot. Reading a book that does not have rhymes or pictures. Using the bathroom without company. I never had a high energy level, but now my energy is non-existant.
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Diane 1-22-2006 @ 9:05PM
having 4 boys (the last 2 being twins) and working a full time job,,,,I miss "me time". when I am able to find the time to do something for myself,,, it is such a luxury. But I wouldn't trade them for all the luxuries in the world. someday they will be all grown up then I will miss these days.
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Rebecca 1-22-2006 @ 9:06PM
I don't miss a thing!
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Lisa 1-22-2006 @ 9:17PM
My kids are now 16 and 11. I remember the sleepless years when they were very little...I stayed at home and baked cookies and bread and played dolls and did a zillion art projects (made me a little crazy sometimes!)...I remember the wicked tantrums (theirs, not mine)...and wiping their noses...and soothing their fevers...it was WORK!!!! that took organization and patience. And there was no coffee break, never mind a bathroom break...I remember the horror of looking out the window and from my upstairs bathroom and being practically eye to eye with my five year old who was at the top of the pine tree with her older sister...Those were wonderful, yet difficult and challenging years. I think for alot of people, the demands of those years can put tremendous strain on thier marriage. The expectations, the resentments, the disappointments, the exhaustion physcically and financially... What I want to say, is that it gets easier. It gets better as the children get older. Try not to forget how those kids got here in the first place...most of the time they were born from the original love and passion between you and your spouse. Your kids WILL survive if you make time to be with eachother and do special things for one another. It's so important. I know you're tired...and you don't feel quite as beautiful after a baby just spit up all over you, but find the humor,and don't be too hard on eachother.If you get through the rough stuff one day when you kids are less of a physcial burden you'll look across the room and know in your heart, you're married to your best friend...
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Michelle 1-22-2006 @ 9:20PM
I miss having "me time" but I'm glad to have my two daughters. They are my reason for living.
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Jerry Platsis 1-22-2006 @ 9:23PM
I agree with Ron (number 9 comment). My boy just turned one year old and I can't even remember what my life was like before him and it doesn't even matter. It's the greatest thing to be in his life, because that's what it is now...his life...not mine anymore. Watching him explore his new world and being able to be there for his triumphs like crawling, walking, being able to clap and the joy it brings him brings me that same joy.
It doesn't matter that I can't take long showers any time I want or go to the bar on a whim because some of my friends are going. You learn to find new kinds of fun involving your kid. Personally, I can't wait until he's a little older so I have an excuse to play with Hot Wheels again!!
Life is a series of miraculous events...some good, some bad...having a child and being part of their lives is one of the good ones!! Enjoy it, embrace it, and understand that that is your place in life now!!
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