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I love, love, love my boys and can't imagine life without them. But sometimes I can imagine the things I
could do if I wasn't so tied down. Not forever mind you. An hour, a day, a long weekend without kids... could
be just lovely. Here are the top six things I miss most about being a mama:
- Spur-of-the-moment trips. Once upon a time, I could decide to go to New York, or London, or the beach, and as long as I had four or five hundred bucks' availability on my credit card, I was there. Now there are car seats and full fare for two years-and-up and babysitters and diapers and, oh my, I'll just watch the Travel Channel.
- Getting one thing at the grocery store. Unless I'm cooking a leisurely dinner, my husband is present and accounted for, and at least one child is napping, I can't just up and run to the grocery store to get oil-cured olives or Cotes du Rhone or plain yogurt. It's a full-fledged trip or I skip it.
- Eating at the bar. Happy Hour used to be so great. Drink specials, cheap-and-yummy appetizers, and great conversation. Ha! Now Happy Hour is when naptime precedes dinner.
- Running late at night with my husband. We used to go on regular three-mile runs after an 8 p.m. dinner. Now running has to be on the calendar along with "date night" and requires a full-fledged child care action plan. Is it any wonder I haven't run for two weeks?
- Swearing for comedic effect. I used to use the occasional, well-placed s.h.i.t. or f-bomb just because it was funny. Now I only swear if I'm truly, truly angry. And that is not a good thing.
- Sleeping until 1 p.m. Ha! My kids are lovely late sleepers - they often don't get out of bed until 9:30 a.m. But remember when you could stay in bed until after lunchtime on Saturdays? Oh, how I long to just do that one. time.












ReaderComments (Page 5 of 7)
1-23-2006 @ 12:52AM
elle said...all,
while i won't go into all the things i miss pre-the-seven-year-old-boy-wonder, i will say, stop beating yourselves up and don't get guilt tripped. no need to end your posts with, "but my child is worth it" or "i wouldn't trade it" etc. it's okay, and human, that you look back and miss things. it's okay to think what if. as a post-er on a very similar topic on another blog asked: "Are we not even allowed to vent because then it's taken as us not loving our children enough to enjoy every second we have with them?"
Sit back and imagine. Really, it's cool...
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1-23-2006 @ 12:59AM
Nikki said...My daughter is 10 and I was a teenage single parent and even though I have had almost all of the experiences with her as most of you guys, I am glad I had a child young, I'm almost 30 and I still look like a teenager and I think it's my girl in addition to good genes that have kept me young-looking and feeling, what I'm saying is that being a young parent CAN have its advantages, by the time my daughter graduates high school I'll still be in my thirties and will be free to travel, further pursue any time-consuming career, go out late at nite etc., so look on the bright side: if you had your kids young, your lifestyle preparent can be rekindled with effort just take care of yourself, exercise and take vitamins, and if you're older, your preparent joys can be rekindled as well. When my sister and I came of age our Mom started back doing everything she held off on while we were kids and she's totally enjoying herself. So hang in there fellow parents and remeber how lucky we are to have our own personal little fan club member(s) who will always be devoted! (hopefully)
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1-23-2006 @ 1:08AM
Shanda said...My baby is 3 and I miss her being 1.
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1-23-2006 @ 1:20AM
Lea said...I miss not feeling fear or paranoia when I meet new people. I'm a social butterfly, and before I had my son it was exciting to meet new people and make new friends. Now whenever I meet someone new I always have this nagging question in my mind "What is your intention's?"
Other than that, I don't miss a thing. I'm loving every minute being a parent. : )
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1-23-2006 @ 1:24AM
crystal said...I DONT REALLY MISS TOO MUCH DUE TO THE FACT THAT I HAVE A FAMILY ALWAYS WILLING TO BABYSIT AT A MOMENTS NOTICE.BUT IF I HAD TO MENTION ONE THING I MISS IT WOULD BE MY BODY BUT I ALSO MISS BEING PREGNANT I LOVED LOVED BEING PREGNANT AND I MISS EVERYTHING ENVOLVED WITH BEING PREGNANT MY DAUGHTER IS 15 MONTHS OLD AND SHE IS THE CENTER OF MY UNIVERSE I HAVE BEEN HOME WITH HER SINCE SHE WAS BORN .SO WHERE EVER I GO SHE GOES SHE IS ULTIMAILEY MY VERY BEST FRIEND
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1-23-2006 @ 1:30AM
Samantha said...I'm 21 with 2 kids and i'm a single mom. thier both from the same dad but we left him. For good reasons. I just wanted to say thanx because after reading all your responses I relized i'm now a mom and I just have to except that and forget how life was before them because consentrating on that has only created resentment towards my kids. I love them and don't regret anything i've been through with them. the are my world. And even though It's hard It's all worth it.
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1-23-2006 @ 1:32AM
Terry said...I would first like to say that I don't think anyone here is complaining ... this is simply a discussion about major lifestyle changes. It is normal to look at the past, compare the differences to the present, and miss certain things. Sometimes I miss being a child, when my world consisted of Mommy's love and jello and homesewn clothes and running around in our backyard filled with pine trees. It's a good memory! In the same way, it's healthy to have fond memories of the pre-parenting day!
Well, as a divorced single parent, the thing I miss the most is ... being a two-parent family. It's a bit sad being divorced, and my husband doesn't help me financially or spend any time with his children.
But I wouldn't trade my children for the world.
They are 19, 17, 12 and 11 (the younger 3 still live at home), and I live each day to make them happy. But I live to make myself happy to,which is OK! Being a parent doesn't have to mean forgetting about oneself. It does take a lot of time and planning, but sometimes I even get an entire night and morning off, if all the kids are sleeping out!
I work 4 jobs (that I like) to support my children, and I am also a breast cancer survivor.
I do miss being able to actually cook recipies with a lot of ingredients in them! My kids like plain stuff ... and cooking separate stuff just takes too much time! I miss just being able to relax when I want to ... when you're a mother you never know what's going to happen next!
In having kids you give up a lot of freedom, but gain the personal satisfaction of knowing that part of what you do every day, you are doing for the benefit of another beautiful human being that you helped to create ... your flesh and blood. It is the best feeling on earth!
God Bless to All :)
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1-23-2006 @ 1:33AM
courtnee said...I am only 20 years old and my daughter Ryelee is 6 months old. I have never been so happy its really frustrating at times but i never had an ensentive to work hard now i do. I can honestly say i was going down hill partying to hard she saved my life. I never knew what is was like to love someone so much. She is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I have never laughed or loved so much.
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1-23-2006 @ 1:39AM
miss said...I miss my life also. I have nine month old twins, and the husband up and left me when I was pregnant with them. I cant find time to do my hair let alone go out on a date. Everyone keeps pushing me to move on, (old story, now the husband wants to come back). They dont understand it is hard to go on a date when you smell like spit up and two little smiling faces are watching you walk out the door. When does your life become yours again? Ever?
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1-23-2006 @ 1:55AM
Kerrie Dolan said...Hi:
Boy - it's great reading all these comments! I don't feel like such a guilty loser Mom now for having some of these mixed feelings sometimes! I didn't have Sam until I was almost 41. Without a doubt, he is the most incredible miracle in my life! However, I do have my moments where I just miss being able to take off for a casual weekend. When I'm feeling sorry for myself I just have to keep it all in perspective! My family are all in good health. We all have food to eat & warm cozy beds to sleep in. Our kids our safe & secure - there is no abuse. Our kids know they're loved. Yes - my hubby & I will have sex again ONE day! :) Yes, we joke about it! Keep a sense of humor! Get a trusted friend to sit your child one evening so you & a partner can have a nice dinner out! Stay in the moment, as much as possible.
Thanks for the help, everyone!
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1-23-2006 @ 1:58AM
Liana said...I don't miss anything. I wanted children, I got children and I am happy they are in my life. I did lose my husband, but he wasn't worth the effort, he wanted kids until they came, and then once they arrived he was never home. They are older now, so as time allows I do have time for myself, and I am fine with that. No excuses to losing weight, it is harder now because I am older but it is gone because I am happy with my life. I miss single friends though. No one without kids really wants to hang out with someone who does, or so it seems.
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1-23-2006 @ 2:05AM
Kerrie Dolan said...Your comments: Hi:
Boy - it's great reading all these comments! I don't feel
like such a guilty loser Mom now for having some of these mixed
feelings sometimes! I didn't have Sam until I was almost 41. Without
a doubt, he is the most incredible miracle in my life! However, I do
have my moments where I just miss being able to take off for a casual
weekend. When I'm feeling sorry for myself I just have to keep it all
in perspective! My family are all in good health. We all have food to
eat & warm cozy beds to sleep in. Our kids our safe & secure - there
is no abuse. Our kids know they're loved. Yes - my hubby & I will
have sex again ONE day! :) Yes, we joke about it! Keep a sense of
humor! Get a trusted friend to sit your child one evening so you & a
partner can have a nice dinner out! Stay in the moment, as much as
possible.
Thanks for the help, everyone!
Reply
1-23-2006 @ 2:17AM
Jenny Davis said...There are a few things I miss like going to the movies with my husband that's not rated G! Especially intimate time with my husband. I was diagnosed with MS right after my 3 year old son was born and was told he would be my last, so I cherish every minute I have with him so the things I miss the most are so minor to the wonderful love, hugs and kisses he gives me everyday! Even though I have been sick, I feel like my life is better than ever and it started when he was born! Thank You Lord!
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1-23-2006 @ 2:20AM
Amanda said...My son is a miracle, in every scense of the word. The 27th will mark a year. I love everything about being a mother.My son was 2 pounds when he was born and 14 weeks early no health problems what so ever. The only thing I miss is my mom!
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1-23-2006 @ 2:21AM
Tonya said...I am so thankful that I was given the oppotunity to have my two girls. They are getting older and it does get easier, and yet I realize that the time is flying by. Somedays I look at them and think to myself cherish this moment as thier will never be another one like this again.
We have learned to do the things that we used to within reason, but we do them with our children. We just took off to seattle last weekend for two days, and we pack them up and take them with us. We have great memories and I think that we have taught our girls to be flexible and to go with the flow.
Thanks be to God for the blessing that they are....
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1-23-2006 @ 2:21AM
bri said...i adore my daughter, but after 8 months of colic and 11 teeth in a row, i miss READING!! sitting down and reading a good book until the next day, not *maybe* a page a day. or going to a movie in the theater, i haven't been in two years now. of course, veggietales is coming out with more interesting videos i guess.
ps. i think i'm entitled to miss a few things, even though i did willing have a child.
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1-23-2006 @ 2:27AM
melissa m. said...I thank God everyday for my boys. Everytime I start thinking of things that I miss doingbefore I had them, like sleeping late or going to the bathroom by myself, they do something or say something that just makes me so grateful for them. Mama loves you boys thank you JESUS for my little monsters.
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1-23-2006 @ 2:32AM
Samantha said...Well, I feel you there. I once was 125 and now ha ha I am more like 225. I can't seem to get time to eat right and exercise. My daughter is 8 and she is a handful. About two years ago we found out that she had Type 1 Diabetes. Once that we found that out my days became nothing but a big nightmare. With her shots 4 or more times a day and the need to check her sugar 4 or more times a day I never get anything done. All, I know is that us as mothers don't get enough credit for the things we do each day. I think that there should be a holiday once a year other than Mother's Day that gives all of us mothers a break from everything and everyone.
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1-23-2006 @ 3:07AM
stacey said...i miss girls night .. getting all dressed up and going out on the town comming in at all hours in the morning .. without having to worry about get home to relive the babysitter.
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1-23-2006 @ 3:15AM
Andrea said...God Bless the widow father Ron! I am a single mother of teenagers also. I did not hang my life up on a peg just because my lifestyle changed and I became a nurturering mother. Luxuries like quick trips to the grocery store, workouts, showers and intimate dates with your loved one are necessary to being a good parent. Structure your time and make those things you miss happen simply to maintain sanity and good health, your kids will love you for it! Yes, it's hard work but it is all a labor of love!
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