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When you're without kids, how do you communicate that you're a parent?
Categories: Just For Moms, Money & Work, Places To Go
When I'm working at my neighborhood coffee
shop, I usually leave the kids at home with daddy or the babysitter. Ironically, of course, most of my work is
about my kids. And then it starts: the parade of moms and dads, bringing their kids in for a bit of a sit and
some caffeine and hot chocolate.
Often, I sit next to the toy bin (it's right near where the power cords plug in), and I worry that parents are, well, worrying about me. I'm sure I don't exude my parental status, unless I'm wearing an Alpha Mom t-shirt or they peer over my shoulder and see me uploading photos of Truman and Everett. Friends have those bags with their kids' photos screened on, which is certainly one way to go - but that wouldn't exactly make sense with my computer bag.
I feel this oddly desperate need to let the
other coffee shop patrons know that I, too, have kids... so they don't feel that their kids are bothering me, so they
don't think I'm odd when I smile too excitedly at their children, so, well, just for solidarity. But instead I just
throw them the occasional overly-exuberant grin or caricature of a look of empathy, or awkwardly start a conversation
around how your child is so much like mine. What do you do to communicate your status as a parent...
or does this not bother anyone but me?
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Uncle Roger 1-25-2006 @ 6:44PM
I've thought about what other parents are thinking when they see a large, unkempt, hairy, Jerry-Garcia-looking weirdo smiling at their kids. I never thought about advertising that I have kids, though. Might be a good idea, especially when I've got my camera out...
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Linda B 1-25-2006 @ 6:51PM
I thought I was the only one who did that!
I guess not :)
Reply
suburban misfit 1-25-2006 @ 7:01PM
I've never really thought about this before, but I know that when another parents says, "Oh, don't bother the nice lady," or something to that effect, I'll say, "No worries, I have two of my own at home," and then the other parent usually says something about me being lucky to be out without them, etc.
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Hallie Hennessey 1-25-2006 @ 8:28PM
I just had this experience yesterday while shopping at Trader Joes! And I even thought about this subject. There was a little girl,probably 3 or so,helping her mom shop, and she was kind of all over the place,being noisy. At one point she started fussing and crying about something she wanted. So I thought, do I glance over at them and give that smile/familiar nod that says, "I know exactly what you're going through!"? or just totally ignore it, to show that it doesn't bother me?
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John 1-25-2006 @ 8:54PM
Anyone sitting by the toybin is fair game. :-) And honestly, it irks me that some people treat children like second class citizens. Everyone was a child once and without children, where would we be?
As for getting creeped out by someone smiling at your kids. If it were you, and that person somehow advertised that they also had kids, would it matter -- that is, would it affect your wariness?
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