Night doulas -- help or hinderance?

Well, I didn't know what a doula was until I checked this site. I just came back home after a week of helping my wonderful daughter-in-law with her 3rd baby. I've been blessed to be with her and my son each time for a week. I did all the things you discussed--cooking, cleaning, advising on baby care (only as needed), watching the siblings and even helping my son paint the bathroom. I remember how hard it was to be at home with a new baby. My husband was supportive, but we were both ignorant of child care and my mother and mother-in-law weren't very helpful. Maybe that's why I work so very hard to make my daughter-in-law's life a little easier after birth. Thank God I have a GREAT relationship with her and the children. That's the most important thing in the world to me!!

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I didn't breastfeed, and we were in an operating room for the births of our twins, but I wish I had someone like that to help me the first few weeks after the boys came home. My husband had to go back to California (where he was stationed), and I was in Maryland. I almost went insane, what with the twins, the toddler, the ppd, missing my husband, the c-section pain and all. Sure, I had a bit of help from the inlaws and their church, but I wish I had known there were people out there (these night doulas). Sounds like they could be a benefit for those of us who are too overwhelmed by everything.

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This is exactly what I plan on training for in the spring. In years past, and in some cultures, women are surrounded by their female family members, and have that support. Why is it creepy to provide that again?

I had ZERO support beyond my husband, and could have used the help.

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I think it would have helped us to bond with our daughter quicker had we gotten some night time help.

We were both so crabby, post partum-y and birth recovering...I just really think it's a valuable service to offer.

And really we're not talking turning over your baby to the hired help while you run off to Europe.

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I think the most helpful things doulas do in those postpartum weeks is mostly libling care, watching new baby while mum showers or eats or naps, perhaps getting a baby who is in a crib or other room for night feedins so that very tired new mums can stay in bed more.

I imagine a postpartum doula would be indispensible to a post c-sec mum.

As well, the postpartum doula can be a great source of info: how do I wash that cord?, how do I bathe a newborn?, what's the best way to burp a newborn?, how to soothe colicky or fussy babies? can you show me a way to hold the baby to help him latch better? These things are all in the arsenal of good post partum doulas.

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Why so down on one of the few sources of support that new moms have in this country? Postpartum doulas are not "turning over the care of your baby to hired help". Doulas provide assistance, support, and brief periods of respite that help new moms, especially moms who had difficult pregnancies, multiples or c-sections (which, umm, actually take longer to recover from than "36-hour natural childbirth"), keep their bearings in those first few weeks. They are there to support breastfeeding and bonding, not replace mom. I think that the trendy philosophy of "mom doing everything" is a historical anomaly anyway. For the most part, women have always had help with babies. Besides, how can keeping things picked up, troubleshooting baby care and breastfeeding issues, doing laundry, bringing mom food, watching the sibs, etc,. interfere with the bonding process? I think maybe you're thinking of a night nurse, not a doula? No doula I've ever heard of says "see you in the morning" except maybe in very extreme and very temporary circumstances.

I used a postpartum doula (though not at night-but my DH helped a lot) for several weeks after having my twin boys at 35 weeks after 14 weeks of bedrest. She was an excellent source of support and helped us get off to a great start with breastfeeding twins(helping us, for instance, to avoid mastitis). Then again, after a high-risk, high intervention pregnancy that turned out well thanks to hard work, my doula, and modern medicine, I could give a flying f*&k what Mothering Magazine thinks.

Forgive my snarkiness, but I'm getting really tired of reading stuff like this. Having kids (or "mothering") is not a do-it-yourself project. We need a community, however we dare to patch it together.

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I think that a night doula is a wonderful idea, especially for women with less-than-supportive husbands. I've had a deal with my husband since our first son was born (we're now on #3). When the baby wakes, he gets up, changes diaper, and I nurse the baby. My husband gets to go back to sleep until it's time to put baby back to bed (in our case a co-sleeper). We came upon this system after trying a variety of methods.
My girlfriend was not permitted to wake her husband in the night and actually had to sleep in another room so that the baby didn't disturb him (the turd!) while he slept. She definitely could have used a bit of help at night.
I think that it's a great idea for new parents who can becomed overwhelmed by the day-to-day of motherhood, or by single moms who don't have the luxury of splitting the duties with a mate.

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Doulas are there to support the mother, not take over the care of the baby. I do not know about night-doulas, but most post partum doulas do the laundry, cook, make sure the mother eats, play with other siblings if the mother needs bedrest, etc. They are supposed to mother the mother not the baby. I guess in an ideal world your own mother would fill this position, but lets face it we don't all get along with our mothers.

If you want to turn your baby over to "hired help" then you want a Nanny/live-in caregiver NOT a doula.

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Just wanted to say that I was a labor assistant (birth doula) for a few years and it was the most rewarding work I've ever done. However, I was really happy to hand the little one over to the parents after they were 'settled in'.

;)

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