Creating a Life Book: page 3, placement day
After completing page 2 of my daughter's life book, it was pretty easy to decide the theme of page 3: the
description of her placement day, when her birthmother ("B") signed her relinquishment papers, and Alex came
home to us for good. Looking through my photo archives, I found many pictures of placement day -- and it was really hard to go through them. It's really interesting: you would think that this day would've been one of the happiest days of our life -- and, I suppose, on one hand, it was - however, with an open adoption, the feelings of placement day can be very complex.
We met Alex's birthmother about 2 months before Alex was born. As a result, I developed a friendship with B -- I began to get to know her as a person, know her family, learn what she hoped for herself. She therefore became someone I cared about, irrespective of the unusual circumstances under which we met. I really liked her. I really like her.
So when placement day came around, my happiness at bringing Alex home was clouded by sympathetic grief: it was difficult to be witness to the sorrow that I knew my friend B was experiencing, especially when Marcus and I were involved, in some part, in her pain. We were all crying -- and I was thanking her for giving us a beautiful daughter, and she was thanking us for taking care of her daughter. It was a strange, wonderful, sad day.
Nonetheless, I managed to pull together some photographs of us smiling -- even one where B and Marcus were making faces at the camera, over Alex's sleeping body. There's another picture of B and I, and B is clearly smiling through her tears. Finally, there's a shot of all four of us. I added the words "Thanks," "smile" and "cry," to the page, because I think those three words capture the feeling of that evening: gratitude and grief, in a very complex way. And, thankfully, I had written this post in my personal blog the very evening we got home, so I was able to use it to handwrite my thoughts for inclusion in this life book.
As far as the rest of the book, it's going to be very difficult to come up with the themes for other pages, now that the story of how she came to be a part of her family is more or less complete. I know that I'll probably do the book through at least the first 18 months of Alex's life (perhaps more). One page will probably be devoted to when Alex met my family, and one will be devoted to our trip to England when she was 15 months old, when she met Marcus' family. There'll be a page devoted to the day we went to court to make our family official, of course. And there'll definitely be one for our first family vacation, when we went to Santa Fe, and hiked through Native American ruins, Alex strapped securely to Marcus' back.
But other than that, the rest of the pages will be devoted to the sort of stuff that any parent would put in their child's scrapbook, I suppose -- milestones, that sort of thing.
Any thematic ideas for future pages?
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
MamaChristy 1-31-2006 @ 2:06PM
Milestones are great and certainly important but if you are looking for themed pages, maybe "special times with mom" - your favorite photos of you and Alex. Perhaps there is something that Alex really likes to do that you have pictures of her doing frequently over several months (her Halloween costume comes to mind...) and you can do a page of those photos. You have a bazillion photos and you are one creative gal. I have little doubt that if you look through pictures, themes will make themselves evident.
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Alyssa 1-31-2006 @ 2:28PM
I love reading about your scrapbooking- I try to scrapbook, and find it way too much work. I did do a first year scrapbook for my last child, baby number 5. My other kids are jealous. My baby is now almost 3, and he looks at his first year book every day. Some theme ideas I suggest are: bathtime, favorite toys/playtime, cousins, grandparents, first holidays, first smiles, goofy faces...I'm sure you and your baby will appreciate all your hard work on this project some day soon. Now I am working on a scrapbook for baby number 4, and it's much harder to do it later than right away, although I guess I didn't really have the time when he was a little guy either. Good luck!
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Preggy Peggy 2-03-2006 @ 9:22AM
I have scrapbooked for years, but I do it a rather fast way, compared to some of the other ways out there. If you find it a daunting task that seems slightly endless, you should look in to Creative Memories. This is an international home based business company. There is sure to be someone near you who can show you the speed tools and lifetime guaranteed albums. My first "album" was a bunch of construction paper and elmers glue, but now I'm doing it a much safer way, so that the photos will last. there are a lot of products out there sold for scrapbooking that will actually harm your photos over time. Schedule a 1.5 hour class with a Creative Memories consultant. You'll be glad you did. You can find one at www.creativememories.com and then click "find a consultant."
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jen 2-05-2006 @ 5:27AM
I realised the other day that we didn't have many recent 'good' photos of Finlay - most are taken randomly with my phone and posted to Flickr, as the camera can be quite cumbersome, and in another room - whereas the phone is always 'there'. So when my husband looked after FInlay during my first week back at work, I asked him to do a "day in the life" photo project. The outcome is digital rather than in a scrapbook (we are rubbish when it comes to printing things out). So perhaps ask your husband to set aside a day (and you can too), where you just record a typical, ordinary day - keep the bus tickets, the receipts or maybe a leaf - and scrapbook them.
The results of our 'day in the life' are here: http://www.khaosproductions.com/2006/finlays_day/
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