You know, I've read a ton of parenting advice books, and for the life of me I've never seen one that contained a section urging parents to warn their kids NOT to joke about killing the President of the United States. Perhaps that explains this story from Rhode Island, in which an unnamed seventh-grader was asked to describe his perfect day in an essay. His idea of perfection? The annihilation of George W. Bush, Oprah Winfrey, and executives from Wal-Mart and Coca-Cola. The boy has been temporarily suspended from school as a mental health precaution, but was not arrested for threatening the President, as his threat wasn't specific enough to constitute a criminal offense.

I would love 10 minutes inside this child's head to find out how Oprah made it on that list. After watching her takedown of James Frey, I'd think she'd be someone you'd want to have working for you, not against you. (Besides, I'm sure Oprah's SWAT team of trained assassins can take out any potential threat with less than 24 hours' notice.)  Secretly, I have to wonder if the Secret Service was more concerned about the Queen of Daytime TV than about their reputed boss. Hmm...does this kid know something we don't know?!

(Oh, and it's my duty to remind all commenters that threatening the life of the President is a felony. Just putting that out there...)