Mother appears on British TV to explain why she breastfeeds her nine-year-old daughter

by J.D. Griffioen (Subscribe to J.D. Griffioen's posts) Feb 8th 2006 3:00PM

Categories: Newborns, Just For Moms, Babies, Toddlers Preschoolers, Preschoolers, Tweens, Teens, Your Pregnancy, Work Life, Nutrition Health, That's Entertainment

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What do you give a nine-year old for a birthday present? A bike? A doll? Well, Veronika Robinson of Penrith in the U.K. chose to give her daughter breastmilk as a ninth birthday present. From the source.

Robinson apparently weaned her oldest daughter when she was five years old, but when she turned nine she asked for breastmilk again, and got it (Robinson was still breastfeeding her other daughter). The younger daughter Elizah is now almost eight and does not want to stop drinking milk from her mother's breast. "I don't want to be weaned. I want to breastfeed for ever," Elizah says.

Robinson recently went on the Britain's Channel 4 to speak about her decision to defy convention and extend breastfeeding with her daughters to such an advanced age. Not surprisingly, Robinson is an extreme lactivist who edits an alternative-parenting magazine called The Mother. "My girls were brought up to think it was completely normal to ask for a breast in a shop," she said on the program. "That's bad enough when they are toddlers, but when they are big girls, people get freaked out by it. I try to be discreet, but we have had some odd looks. People tend to be disgusted and disbelieving."

Ya think? How can you discretely breastfeed an eight year old in public?

I know the lactivist community gets very upset about any scorn brought down on extended breastfeeders, but it seems like any reasonable lactivist would recognize the line must be drawn somewhere. As someone who is adamant about the right to breastfeed, it concerns me that people like Robinson actually discredit the normalization and widespread acceptance of breastfeeding by turning it into a freakshow. When a woman says things like, "I can't believe any mother wouldn't love to hold onto that wonderful feeling you get when you are nursing your own child," and her daughter got the idea from somewhere (Gee, I wonder where) that breastfeeding is so great she wants to do it "forever," it is pretty clear that there are other issues at work here. Honestly, I don't really care that she has chosen to do this (there are a million things more harmful to kids that parents do all the time) but does she really need to go shouting from the rooftops about it? With breastfeeding in general still trying to overcome a certain ick-factor among ignorant jerks, stories like this don't help.

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Comments (42)

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 3)

eden 2-08-2006 @ 3:12PM

Good, bad, right, wrong, weird or normal -- how did this end up on Channel 4? Isn't breastfeeding kind of personal? Why is she compelled to share this with the world? B/c she might (or does) do this in public, as she indicated? I'm not uncomfortable w/ seeing a mother breastfeeding in public but breastfeeding a school-age child would probably squick me out.

I also wonder: would she do the same for a nine year old son? Is there a double standard? So many questions, such unsatisfying answers.

thordora 2-08-2006 @ 3:17PM

AMEN to that.

I don't mind the doing, but since it's clearly an emotional need, why on EARTH would you suddenly flop out a boob in public for a 9 year old child? That doesn't even make sense?

Nancy Toby 2-08-2006 @ 3:47PM

Personally, I think this is just plain creepy. The girl is about ready to hit puberty, Mom. Gross.

callistawolf 2-08-2006 @ 3:51PM

Eww.. That's about all I can say about that. And I consider myself a breastfeeding advocate!

Shanee 2-08-2006 @ 3:52PM

All I know is I think would be hard-pressed to find a 9 yr old still on the bottle. Drinking formula. So with that being said, I think this is a bit freaky.

christy 2-08-2006 @ 4:21PM

How selfish of this woman to be more concerned with her own "feelings of closeness" than actually preparing her children for adulthood, which is, you know the actual point of raising children.

Caitlin 2-08-2006 @ 4:39PM

It is a little disturbing in the sense that she wants to "breastfeed forever". It'd be one thing if she was just a little curious, and I think it's great she can trust her mom enough to ask about breastfeeding. However, she's approaching puberty, which is when you start to spread your wings and work on your independence. You can't be independent if you plan on breastfeeding forever.

I think it's so upsetting to people when it happens in public precisely because a 9 year is not only old enough to wait, but there are other more socially acceptable ways to alleviate her hunger. I think at 9 years old, it's not so much about eating as enjoying that attention from mom.

Babies don't understand the concept of "wait", and I think people are more willing to understand a baby's need to eat now. In general, people know you can't give a baby a cereal bar and your only options are the breast or the bottle. With babies, it's eat first, then enjoyment after they eat enough to still the hunger pangs.

Rachel May 2-08-2006 @ 4:53PM

Hear, hear, christy. My dad always said, "My job as a parent is to work myself OUT of a job."

erin 2-08-2006 @ 5:05PM

Being only five months into my first pregnancy, perhaps I don't have the right perspective yet.

It seems that for infants, public breastfeeding is about providing sustenance to your child and potentially providing a soothing influence for someone who is new to the world--an individual who is unprepared with other skills to cope with it's craziness. It doesn't strike me that public breastfeeding is really about creating a bonding moment.

For an eight year old, it would seem that breast milk would not be their primary source of food, so they don't really need to breastfed in public for that reason, and you'd hope that by that point the had other mechanisms by which to cope with the world at large.

I'm pleased to live in a city that is fairly accepting of public breastfeeding, but that doesn't change the fact that there are certain moments, actions and modivations that are appropriate for a public forum, and others that are not as appropriate.

Meredith 2-08-2006 @ 5:07PM

I figure you rarely see an animal feeding from it's mother past a specific age. They seem to know the exact correct time to wean and I am not so sure it is "self led weaning" when they do it.

MELISSA 2-08-2006 @ 6:39PM

just flat out disturbing.

Michele W 2-08-2006 @ 9:14PM

This is just WRONG !! In my eyes this is right with molesting a child ! Yes a baby needs it this is how they thrive. I my self think after a year , year and a haif that is plenty for breast feeding. If you bottle feed they tell you to take the bottle and formula off at a year old. Any normal thinking person would have a serious problem with an 8 and nine year old breast feeding! IT is sick. What ever reason for doing it, it just isn't right. She will be hitting puberty, this is the time that you will slowly be talking to her more and more about sex and woman things that happen if they didn't already. How can you even begin to talk about that when she is breastfeeding from you. I agree with eden too would you be doing the same if they were boys? and if so then that in alot of areas would be considered child molestation. The mental part of it on the girls are not good either. 8 years old and " I want to breast feed forever. " What way of thinking is that! she will never be prepared for living in this world. it has to stop somewhere. you can't be at your high school graduation latched onto your mom or say you one day have a child of your own will there be a breast feeding line? your child to you and you to your mom! Get a life !!! I just can't even say any more this is so upsetting! It just is not right and this needs to be stopped. there should be like a law if need be to stop people from doing this.

Belinda 2-08-2006 @ 9:45PM

I had a friend who mother brestfed until the child was old enough to say "i need the breast" at that point she weaned the child (usually around 3) and that was it. I tried so hard to breastfeed my child (even if my mother was against it, told me how hard it was when she did it for my sister) but I just couldn't get the latch right and I had no one I could turn to to ask for help. I gave into the bottle and tried pumping, but that didn't work so she switched to formula. But I mean I would have fed her as long as possible if I could of, but 9? That is outragious!!!!

meg 2-08-2006 @ 10:59PM

In the lactivist community is there any line as to when it is suggested to wean a child?

Uly 2-09-2006 @ 12:02AM

I figure you rarely see an animal feeding from it's mother past a specific age. They seem to know the exact correct time to wean and I am not so sure it is "self led weaning" when they do it.

I had a cat once who nursed her "kittens" well past the age of kittenhood. Some of them were more than a year old (15 or 16 in human years, I estimate) about when I stepped in and made them stop nursing.

...

But she was a bit dumb.

Nessa 2-09-2006 @ 9:09AM

Meg - I can't speak for the whole of the lactivist community. I'm sure the reasons one might identify as a lactivist are many and varied. A lot of really pro-bfing women are also pro-child-lead-weaning. To what degree the child leads the weaning or if they are subtley guided (sometimes even subconsciously by mom, dad gma, whomever...) I cannot say. My, personal (and arbitrary), line is Kindergarten. That's when the concept of independence is really focused on. That's not to say that I want my children to be EXCLUSIVELY breast-feed until they're 5, but I see no harm in nursing in times of stress, upsetedness, hurt, etc or in times of intimacy between mother and child - going to sleep, cuddling, etc. I think a lot of people have this misconception about extending breastfeeding, that the older nursling is just on the breast constantly. Now, I only have a 10m old nursling, but I can honestly say from my observations of friends & women at my LLL meetings, that a preschooler may only nurse a handful of times per day. Or per week. Or per month. It's just knowing that it's available that's the thing and that's the child lead weaning part. They may know it's available and that's all they need until one day it doesn't even cross their minds to want it anymore.

Re: length of formula feeding. It's true that you wean a baby off of formula at 1 year, but what do you wean them on to? Cow's milk. Which is just another breast/mama's milk alternative. How many toddlers & 3 or 4 yo preschoolers do you know who still occasionally take a bottle of cow's milk or water take a bottle to bed with them. Or heck, who still have a binkie addiction. This is almost no different to me than extending breastfeeding (since from an instinctual, habitual angle it's nearly identical to the child - that sucking reflex). The part that is different for me is that bottle feeding (especially handing an older child a bottle and letting them walk around with it or whatever) is missing the person to person bonding aspect. I think there can be a legitimate need for a 2 or 3 yr old to *nurse* from their mother, even if it's not nutritional (though, it *is* healthy and recent studies have shown that there are plenty of immunological benefits to extending (i.e. past 1yr) nursing).

Anyway, I digress.

Do I think this woman should be encouraging her school-aged "tween" children to breastfeeding in public? Probably not. They are more than old enough to be told to wait until they are at home. Do I liken this to "child molestation"? Oh goodness sakes! NO! I disctinctly recall all of my little brothers at one point or another (in the early school years) either wanting to marry mom or informing her that they were never moving out even after they were married and have kids.

I'm glad this woman has started a dialogue on extended nursing. And THAT'S most likely why she took this private matter and went public.

Steve McPhail 2-09-2006 @ 12:44PM

As a strong supporter of extended breastfeeding; I really don't think there's anything wrong with breastfeeding an 8 or 9 year old ( as long as the mother does it in the privacy of her home and not in public!) otherwise if a nursing mother was to breastfeed her 9 year old daughter in public people might think that she is totally nuts!; If a nursing mother has to breastfeed her 9 year old daughter in public here's a suggestion... try taking the little girl into a private place where no one can see what you're doing then you can allow your 9 year old daughter to latch onto your breast and begin breastfeeding!!; After all,if the 9 year old still enjoys the rich nutrients of her mother's breastmilk!
I would say... GO FOR IT!!

Dutch 2-09-2006 @ 12:57PM

I don't understand, Nessa. You're glad this extremist nutbag started a dialogue that makes extended breastfeeders look like emotionally disturbed sickos? Because that is how 99% of people in the civilized world are going to view this behavior. Shit, I'll bet if you found some long lost tribe in the jungles of new guinea, they'd tell you that this woman is nuts. I wish this woman would crawl back into whatever depraved hole she came out of and stop associating breastfeeding in general with her personal freakshow.

Laura Snow 2-09-2006 @ 2:43PM

I feel for those innocent children who are being humiliated by this being made public. I don't agree with it but it's not my business.. why she wanted it to be ours is beyond me.

meg 2-09-2006 @ 6:24PM

Nessa,
Thanks for the information. Its amaziong to me that Blogging Baby allows the posters to respond to commenters using a psuedonym, just seems weird to me. And he's yelling at you for being a nutcase, when well, nevermind.
Nessa, I just want to say that I too amd freaked out by publicly nursing a grown girl - however I appreciate your response to my question. Perhaps the LLL should get together on a guidline for weaning?
Once again, thanks.