"You're wearing THAT?" -- New book discusses mother-daughter communication

Filed under: Just For Moms, Development/Milestones: Babies, Media, That's Entertainment

The New York Times is featuring an interview with Deborah Tannen, author of the new book You're Wearing THAT?  Understanding Mothers and Daughters in Conversation.  Dr. Tannen is a world-renowned linguist, and author of the bestseller You Just Don't Understand, a study of communication between men and women. 

In her interview, Tannen discusses criticism, saying "sometimes caring and criticism are found in the same words."   However, she stresses, "One of the great strengths of the mother-daughter relationship is this intimacy. But daughters want their mothers' approval so much that even the slightest hint a mother thinks she should have acted differently about something can set a daughter off."

While I'm not a fan of relationship books, I do own You Just Don't Understand, and loved it -- it was one of the few books I've read that discussed the differences in how men and women communicate, while still avoiding stereotypes  and prejudice.  For this reason, I'm definitely going to purchase Tannen's new book -- after all, I have a mother, and I have a daughter.  My conversation, therefore, must be fraught with linguistic land mines.


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Start by teaching him that it is safe to do so.