Value of 'Mommy Blogs' from non-mom
There's often a ridiculous amount of ire in the
blogosphere toward mothers who blog. At Blogher last year, at the end of a long
day of snickered comments about the [eyeroll] Mommy Blogs, someone pointed out that we shouldn't just
write 'Mommy Blogs' we should do something important. This raised a whole lot of hackles in the room and the issue has continued to be rehashed ever since. Which is why I was interested to read this piece at Whinging It about the value of Mommy Blogging in the eyes of a woman who has chosen to remain childless.
She talks about how Blogging's relatively anonymous medium has given women (and men, don't forget the Daddy Bloggers...) the freedom to express the incredibly complex set of emotions which come with parenting. Not just to a few select friends, but to the public at large. As 'Whinger' says, "Moms can now publicly declare that perhaps being a mother is not the end-all and be-all of womanhood." (Paging Ms. Huffman!)
At the end of that Blogher meeting Alice of Finslippy stood up and confidently told an entire room full of women that, "Writing about motherhood can be a radical act." Then I cried, because she's so right.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Meagan E. Vanover 3-02-2006 @ 2:49PM
I hate having to label my self as a "Mommy Blogger" because my blog isn't all about diapers and drool. I have quite a following of readers that are not parents. Being a mom is the most amazing and important thing that I have done with my life thus far, but having a blog about my entire life (whether it's seroius or completely superficial) has allowed me to continue being a great mom because I have somewhere to express myself as an individual.
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thordora 3-02-2006 @ 2:49PM
OMG, I cannot believe some of the vitrol spouted towards "mommyblogs", especially considering some of the "blogs" I've seen it spouted on. What really killed me was how far some people went. Especially when these people were writing the literal equivilent of a wet fart. It was childish and rather moronic.
If anything, I think that it threatens people to see women banding together and finding solidarity in parenting, or people coming together and affirming that yes, childrearing is a rite of passage, and that we still need a village.
I very much resent the implication by some of those "bloggers" that mothers should do something else. I work. I write. I paint. I am hopefully nuturing two girls who will one day be leaders in my country.
What are they doing, aside from making snide comments in their insipid little blogs?
OOOOH. Radical act? HELL YEAH!
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Meredith 3-02-2006 @ 2:52PM
Melissa, you are on the money with this one, particularly with your quote from Alice about writing about parenting being a "radical thing."
When you blog about parenting -- a subject on which everyone thinks he or she is an expert -- it seems as though the whole world thinks they know better than you do. And if you dare to give voice to complaints about parenthood or your kids, you're an ungrateful idiot who must hate your kids, doesn't deserve to have them. That, and you obviously have nothing "serious" to write about.
Didn't Betty Friedan initially get ridiculed by book reviewers for writing about "frivolous" things, you know, like motherhood?
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meg 3-02-2006 @ 2:55PM
It's weird to me how people attack different groups of bloggers for different reason. You see this in the tech blog arena too. If someone writes a techie blog and then happens to post about non-technical stuff, they get flamed. A blog can be just a reflection of a person...multidimensional.
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Maureen 3-02-2006 @ 4:33PM
I'm a bit shocked that anyone would care what another person chooses to
"blog" about. I view my own blog as sort of an online journal. I write about
many different things and I don't really have it "out there" for other folks
to read. The person who said that moms should get
out there and do something important instead of keeping a blog is really strange. Would she say that a mother should not write in an offline journal for enrichment
because she should be doing something else?
And what is this something? She is already mothering and running a household.
She may also be holding down a job outside of the home, volunteering her time and also be nurturing friendships.
I find this person's (the person mommy bloggers "should do something important) attitude very strange.
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sweetest mom 3-02-2006 @ 4:50PM
i get so much delight from recieving comments on my blog. i feel like i am connecting with people all over the world who enjoy seeing inside my brain
[yes i am a mommyblogger, but my blog does not consist of yards of text nor operate on the assumption that the reader cares all that much about my specific life. i choose to focus on the universal needs and experiences parents have]
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Elisa Camahort 3-02-2006 @ 8:16PM
Alice's rallying cry at the end of BlogHer was such a resonant moment of the conference that we knew pretty much from the day after the conference that we would have to ask her tocome back and lead a session on it at the next BlogHer. Thankfully, she agreed, and I'm sure the "MommyBlogging is a Radical Act" session, led by Alice, will be a standing-room-only barnburner of a session!
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Lizzie 3-02-2006 @ 10:43PM
I am a 22 year old university student who once loathed the idea of having children. Now i'd say half of the blogs i read are 'mommyblogs' and i am so looking forward to motherhood.
Part of the reason i didn't want kids is because i didn't think it was going to be all hearts and ponies and freaky happy all the time, but that's what i thought i was supposed to think it would be. mommy blogs show that it isn't, but it is worth it. that there are in fact bad times, times where you miss your life before kids, but that's ok. that it's totally worth it. you can still be a person and be a mom. i think alice is completely right. women saying they are moms, but also people, in our society IS a radical act. It's also something that's sorely needed.
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Caitlin 3-02-2006 @ 10:55PM
I just dislike the term "mommy blog". Confessions of a Geeky Mama, and Random Text are my personal blogs. Confesions is more of a reflection of me. I look in the mirror and I don't see a monochrome one dimensional reflection looking back. I see me.
I am a mother, but I am also so much more. I am a student, a writer, a book and math lover, a photographer, insatiable wanderer, and keeper of my family's history and lore, among other things. Being pigeon holed is one of the reasons Random Text doesn't update as much and has turned into "what I did with my baby today, now with pictures!(tm)".
It was hard for me, because Random Text has been the name I've journaled under since I was 16. People would get upset if I mentioned life isn't always perfect. Getting complaints every time I wrote something non Paul oriented just killed the joy in writing there. Confessions got it's name because I wanted a place I could express these apparently non mommy thoughts, but also as a way of accepting this new part of me.
But I do agree that it's a good thing that there is a place where we can express thoughts on being parents. I stumbled upon a Little Pregnant by accident, and it was comforting to see someone else talking about life in the NICU. There are a fair number of times when I see another blogger who is a parent and come away with a different perspective to ponder.
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asha 3-03-2006 @ 2:17AM
Thanks for opening the conversation, Melissa. That a group of blogging women -- attending a conference aimed at empowering blogging women -- minimized the importance of an entire category of BLOGGING WOMEN is simply beyond me. Clearly, blogging about parenting is worthwhile, legitimate, cathartic, often funny, and sometimes the catalyst for offline friendship. What's to snicker about?
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ann adams 3-04-2006 @ 3:56PM
I have a blog of my own and another which I share with another great-granny. I've never figured out exactly what my blog is. Until late 2004 when I bought my computer, I didn't know what a blog was. How my world has opened up and my life changed!
The closest I can come to a description of rocrebelgranny is an international coffee-klatch. We chat about parenting a lot. We exchange jokes, recipes, poems, advice, and the latest memes. We are sometimes very serious but we spend a lot of time kidding each other and patting each other on the back.
I'm sure it wouldn't be everybody's cup of tea but, outside of my family, it's provided some of the happiest moments of my life. I consider the regular visitors as friends who are always there with a virtual hug for me when I need it. If that's too corny, so be it. It's who I am.
I think of myself as an "honorary" mommy blogger of sorts. If these women, whoever they are, don't want to read "mommy(or daddy)" blogs, fine. I probably wouldn't be interested in theirs either. I wouldn't, however, insult them for doing what pleases them.
They should extend us the same courtesy.
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Lisa 3-09-2006 @ 4:29AM
She is so right. It can be a radical thing. I dont see why anyone would think a mommy blog is less important than any other type. Besides almost all mommy blogs are about the mothers life in general and all aspects of it not just the parenting part. Besides, what more important job is there in the world than raising the future?
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