Think applying to university is tough? Try applying to preschool in NYC

Thats really kind of icky. Preschool can be fun - I remember it fondly - and I know my 2 year old is loving her once a week, $12 a day daycare/preschool program, but sheeesh! Admission essays? Consultants? No thank you very much. I laughed at the guy who described his toddlers as a "soft hearted jock" and a "mischevious lover". Weird. I just don't think I could take that seriously.

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I understand the "proper" pre-school is essential for succeeding in life. I don't understand why any more that I understand this kind of competition.

I just deleted a nasty remark.

Sorry, but these poor kids are going to be micromanaged every second of their lives. When do they get to be just kids.

Are the "must have" pre schools really any better or is it "can you top this? once again?

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I have only spoken to one preschool here in NYC, and the attitude of the program director was enough to make me decide that perhaps I don't want my daughter going through the pressure cooker.
I was actually told that my 2 year old would never be ready for kindergarten if she didn't start a drop-off program immediately, and not only that, but were she to start at 4, she would be ridiculed by her classmates for not having started preschool at 2. Oh, and that I was holding her back because of my irrational fears. And, to make it even better, she berated me for all of the above in front of my daughter.
This was at our local Y. If I'm to assume that this approach works with parents, I'd assume that the bulk of NYC parents are in fear and trembling that should they not choose the best preschool, their children will stand no chance of succeeding in life. I'm sure the competition plays into it as well, but my experience with it has been entirely of the emotional blackmail variety.
Not that I'm still upset about it or anything :)

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I live in the DC metro are and this seems like it is becoming a bit of a problem here. We ran into a couple of toddlers at Little Gym who had lessons of some sort -every- day. Their parents seemed amazed that my friend and I had no plans to try for one of the exclusive preschools here. I think the thing we forget is that not every child is going to be interested in going to an Ivy League school and you only get to be a young child once.

I've been looking for a drop in daycare, and it seems like everything on this side of the beltway styles themselves as one of those exclusive preschools. They're horrified that I'm not interested in having my 14 month old in school 5 days a week. I feel there's plenty of time for that later, especially given how ambitious our local half day kindergarten program is.

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I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member. -- Groucho Marx

If I have to try this hard to be accepted, then I don't want to be a part of it. I feel the same way with my child, even more so where it concerns her.

Why open a 2 year old up to judgement and scrutiny of her play habits when we get enough by our feeding and diapering choices?

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The same thing is happening here in Chicago. When I meet people with kids around the age of our oldest son, age 3, they are SHOCKED that we have not begun earnestly researching, volunteering at school events, and otherwise schmoozing preschool administrators. And I'm not talking just the expensive, "elite" ones...parents are seriously "working it" even for the public school magnet programs!

This is one gigantic reason people move out of the city and feel compelled to go to the suburbs: competition for schools. I don't think I can take it. I feel the stress, and I don't know what to do about it. Do I give in to the prevailing system and start the search process, most likely prostrating myself at the feet of an overpriced preschool (again, even the public ones cost more than my full-day, fantastic day care!) for the chance for my totally brilliant but very normal son to spend part of his day there? Do we move to the suburbs (egads!) and become a charicature? Or do we chuck it and simply move to a smaller city, where this kind of thing truly seems like madness? I is not an easy answer...and all brought on by something seemingly harmless like preschool!

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We live in Michigan and the "elite" preschools in our area require a significant deposit and preregistration. The spaces in these classes are all reserved by the time the time the kids are 3 months old.

I remember preschool as a great place for a snack and some fingerpainting. Why do 3 year olds need academics?

My 3 year old son is the only one of his peers to not be in a "serious, academic preschool" -- direct quote from one teacher. In fact, he's not in any school. He attends a 1.5 hour class once a week. He seems to love it and his teacher says he'll be fine for a "real" preschool next year.

Nevertheless, moms in the park, gym, and library question my commitment to my son's education. I just don't get it. I didn't need 2-3 years of preschool, why does he?

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I wouldn't want to live there either!

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we just went thru the whole nyc preschool admissions process w/our 2.5 yo daughter. it was definitely nightmarish--but more than the schools themselves, i felt the parents were more to blame for the ridiculous nature of the process. during tours and interviews and playdate/interviews with the kids, it was always the parents that i was the most turned off by. the parents didnt seem to have the kids best interest in mind, frankly. and the parents definitely got swept up in the competition. this weekend is the big decision time for nyc--most of the deadlines are 3/15--that's when you have to decide to accept or not. and for people on a waiting list--this is the worst week ever! this weekend at the playground was just shameful--all the parents were CRAZY w/school talk. it definitely sounded like parents were embarrassed to say whether or not they were accepted or whatever--it was all about THEM. meanwhile their kids are starting fights, getting lost, falling off slides. i had to leave. the private schools are running a really difficult business--that's their excuse. and if you really want your kid to go to one of the schools, writing an essay and the rest is really the very least you can do. it's a big decision for everyone. i'm definitley glad its over for us, and we were very fortunate to get accepted at our first choice school and all that--and it was a VERY nerve-racking experience for sure. but rather than be able to talk to the other parents about it, and be able to share experiences, most parents were crazy competitive and pretty psycho all-around. if i was one of the schools--i wouldnt accept their kid based on the fact that i wouldnt want to work with the neurotic parents over the years.

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Paying more money, filling out longer applications, interviews....all this does NOT always mean better care/education. Now days, if you don't have to compete for something then its obvioulsy not worth it. Pre-schools like these are for the parents social status not the children.

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I am so glad that i stay home with my kids and teach them what they need to know. My 4yr old is not in any pre-school. I went to collage go a degree in child care and pre-school is playing with kid, reading to them, sing, all things anyone could do at home with there child. yesh. I would stay far away from all those schools!

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I live in an overpriced part of brooklyn, not the posh area of manhattan, but because of the NYC-wide baby boom have some of the fall out of the preschool pressures in Brooklyn too.

There are only a few preschools (for ages 2-4) in my neighborhood and they all operate on a first come first serve basis (with legacy for siblings). It's a mad rush at the beginning of the fall to apply for the next fall. It seems crazy, but there are only 1/2 the spots for the amount of children.

I was lucky enough to have my daughter at the early end of the boom and I have to say that preschool an absolutely fabulous experience.

I agree that preschool is a tremendous asset to the 2-4 age group, but not for the same reasons set forth in the comments. They've done a ton of studies that show that children exposed to a school setting at preschool age have a much easier time adjusting to school. My daughter's preschool wasn't academic at all, but learning about themselves through play. The real difference between what a parent can offer vs preschool is that peer relationships are essential to the preschool experience.

If anyone wanted to make some money, they should open up some preschools in Brooklyn. There is a HUGE need. Not to mention that when most of the kids at that age are in nursery school and you are one of the few moms who didn't enroll your child in nursery school, try finding a play date for your kids. In my neighborhood there really aren't moms in the park of kids in the 2+ range. All the kids are younger than 2.

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We're in Park Slope Brooklyn, where the private preschool competition is also strong, and our daughter was recently accepted to our first-choice preschool. I do agree that the process is a little daunting, and we didn't think that she was going to get in, since it was so competitive, but I disagree with the poster who said that these schools are obviously just for the parents' social status. We fell in love with the school because it is a joyful place that we know our daughter will feel very comfortable in, and you can see where your money is going - they have incredible resources and great teachers. We had NOTHING in mind but our daughter's well-being. I think the school's quality is what makes it so competitive.
I will admit that there are parents who are thinking mainly of the networking opportunities at these schools, but I just wanted to point out that it's not always the case.

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