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Co-parenting blues: two approaches, one outcome
Filed under: Just For Moms, Toddlers Preschoolers, Just For Dads, Development/Milestones: Babies, Sex
As I've chronicled extensively here, I've been struggling to potty train Everett for well over a year. We seem to be nearing the finish line (we're not working on nighttime yet, however), with nearly 100% success over the past few weeks with our biggest problem: poop. After much struggle and negotiation, trial and error, I've learned that it does no good to force him to sit on the potty. When he's ready to go, he'll go, and no amount of asking him to sit there and try - even if he'd just told me he had to go, but changed his mind at the last minute - would do any good. He'd sooner have an "as-ki-dent" than sit, unprepared, on the toilet.
Today, my husband was transitioning to Parent In Charge as I prepared to hang out at my coffee shop/"office" for a few hours. Everett was showing the obvious signs of needing to poop and I suggested that he go. "I don't need to poop!" he said brightly. Dad took over. "GO!" he told him with his typical forceful daddy-ness. "Go sit on the toilet and try!"
I'm really working to be a better co-parent, and waited until Everett had run, sobbing loudly and wailing for his mama, upstairs to the bathroom.
"I think a gentle approach would work better," I explained reasonably. "I've been much more successful with..." [10 minutes of tense arguments over my relative success, Jonathan's disagreement with my methods in general, and our inability to listen to one another cut for the interests of story flow] "... potty." And Everett came running down the stairs happily.
"I went potty!" he said brightly. "Can I have a treat?"
Oh, the co-parenting blues are upon me. I hate it when he's right.










ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
3-07-2006 @ 3:42PM
Ginny said...Well, at least he went poop. lol Why can't our kids be on OUR side ALL the time? lol
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3-07-2006 @ 4:57PM
ann adams said...It's progress but I know how you feel.
Wait until you are insisting that they go potty before they get into the car (to go anywhere). "But I don't have to." "Go anyway." "But I just went." "Go again." "But I can't". "Try harder".
If I cave in, they aren't in the car five minutes before the chorus starts and I'm hunting a toilet.
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3-08-2006 @ 1:20PM
Michelle Slayton said...Hi Sarah,
We gave treats for potty for a week or two to our son, Miles, with miraculous results, but then when we stopped giving it up he stopped pooping. Then, he pooped yesterday for a lollypop. I KNOW he can do it now, but it seems there is some major strategizing to do. Best of luck to you...
Why I really wrote, though, is where is cafemama.com? I am in the thick of preschool searching and I really relied on your site for good suggestions! I hope it is just a blip...
Best,
Michelle Slayton
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