Teaching my kids how to wipe their bottoms (and I thought potty training was hard)

I believe that dads should share the toilet-training, and with sons, more than half. A number of my friends share the same viewpoint. Toilet/potty training shouldn't be a battle. Our son picked it up much more quickly than our daughter. I sit on the toilet once a day after breakfast, and from the time when Matthew could sit on his potty unaided, I put him on it, and gradually he learned what those with the same body parts as himself DO. At weekends, I spent more time on this, and before he graduated onto the toilet, I used to put the paper onto his hand, and guided it to his bottom. Obviously it wasn't very effective to begin with, but he was learning to go through the motions (excuse the unfortunate word) of wiping. There were no tantrums when I first sat him on the toilet, aged 2, because he was being a 'big boy' like Daddy. He was able to push when necessary, with me holding his hand. Also, with my support, he was soon wiping very effectively, looking at each piece of paper with less and less brown on it. So this battle we had won well before he was aged 3. Flushing also gave him much pleasure. Then we had to consider how he could go unaided, which was what I was working towards. I told him that I wanted him to get up on his own. (At his play school, they had small toilets.) The stool (the other kind!) which our older daughter had used he didn't find very successful; he was a bit nervous about slipping off. So I wanted him to try how he could climb up. He tried to hold onto the toilet roll holder, but this was only made of plastic. My father-in-law said there was an old one in their garage made of metal, with rounded, not sharp, corners (sometimes hoarding IS useful). He cleaned it up, and brought it and fixed it. Matthew really likes this. First he drops his trousers, grips the roll-holder, and springs up onto the seat. Children can be ingenious sometimes, and he found a way of adding a bit of pressure: he sits facing the holder, and grips it, and when things start to move, he turns quickly round facing the proper way. When it came to wiping, he tried 3 different ways: 1) wiping from the front, but for a boy, there is a danger of dirtying the penis - OK if you shower immediately afterwards, but it isn't always convient. 2) swinging back to face the roll, and gripping it with his left hand, so that he could lift his bottom up to wipe it with his right hand. 3) shuffling right to the front of the hole, so that he could reach his bottom from behind. The third option is what he follows at the moment. He doesn't need reminding each morning. He regards it as normal routine - he enjoys it, and feels better afterwards.

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My sons are 5 and 8 and I still wipe both their butts! (Most of the time.) I would really rather do that then deal with poopy underwear. I don't even know how to teach them to wipe. It's like their arms are too short.

I wipe from the front - between my legs. I tried wiping from behind, but there would be no way I could get myself clean that way?? And they have "stuff" in the way, so I just don't know what to do.

Glad to hear I'm not the only one.

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Kimberly

It's their, not there. Learn English.
Rob

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Kimberly

It's not "there", it's "their". Learn English. Rob

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Oh dear god! My son Charlie is 3.5 years old and we are facing exactly the same dilemma. My husband thinks his arms are physically too short to wipe his behind. Charlie went so far as to wipe himself by trying to reach under from the front.
Advice please!!!!!

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Have you tried having them put one foot up on a stool while they are wiping? I wonder if that would help them reach better? Have you tried the flushable wet wipes instead of toilet paper?

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ok I almost spit out my soda when I read this! LOL I can jsut picture it! LOL Well Chase is 3 as of last month and he will go potty at school like a champ all day!!!!!! no accidents but as soon as he gets home, will have nothing to do with the toliet! NOTHING!!! SO a friend of mine theother day was telling me that she buys the little guys tidy whities in bulk!!! Because she says she cant be at two places at once and hopes for the best currently! He's also 3. But she has also been trying to get im to wipe and that has been for the past 3 months, he always sez I cant do it!, Love the idea of putting his foot up on the stool!!! Good one!

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My 5yo can't really wipe properly...luckily she generally does her bowel movements at home. Unfortunately I'm tired of hearing "MOM I POOOOOPED" shouted through the house!

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Oh, Irene! My heart goes out to you on this one, hon.

I don't think there's a magic bullet for this issue. Both of my children resisted cleaning their own bottoms just because it was ikky and they didn't want to! Then when I basically insisted that they figure it out, they did a poor job of it, in the beginning. Ugh.

My philosophy has been this: Once they reach age 5, there's no reason they shouldn't be able to do it themselves. And each child has had precisely ONE nasty rash apiece that was the turning point. One bad rash is enough to get them motivated to GET CLEAN in the future.

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I have a 4 year old dd and a 5 year old ds. Neither is really good at wiping their "hineys". They call me to wipe them if they are not in a hurry, otherwise, they end up with rashes. It's funny that I am still using rash cream several times a year at this stage. I guess they'll "get" it soon enough. Like Mir said, they don't like rashes, so HOPEFULLY it won't be long now.

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When we first began toilet training, the words "Mama I have to pee," or "Mama I have to poop" were pure poetry. And then, months later -- those same words have completely lost their charm. 5 years old until he's on his own? Oy vey. I had hoped for better news.

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i thought that i read someplace that they aren't supposed to be able to adequately wipe themselves until they are 5 or 6. it still would be nice not to have to help them though. my son is 3, and he also does the butt up in the air thing, although sometimes he likes to sneak out of the bathroom after he's pooped without telling me...eeeew!!

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"Mom, I'm done!! Come wipe my butt!" That's all I hear! I go running with my box of flushable wipes and wipe for him; then he has to "practice" wiping his butt with toilet paper...he can't get down until he's praciced. He had his first ever without Mommy to wipe day when his grandparents were here; he called for Grandpa to come wipe his butt. Grandpa had him to it himself! I was completely shocked!

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