Would you use a teenage boy as a babysitter?

I won't hire a male babysitter. I don't care if I'm PC or not, I don't like the idea of handing my child over to a male.

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Abused by men as a child. I feel weird leaving my kids with male family. I would NEVER leave them with any male. I really don't give a rat's ass if it's PC or not. My kids come first, which is why we rarely have them in any type of child care.

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I'm totally with you. Everyone already knows that, nice or not, teenage boys lag behind teenage girls developmentally. So why would they be responsible enough for my child? Besides, I work with teeange boys every day and, while there are plenty I think are fine young men, not a one of them would I hire to watch my baby. Sorry!

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I wish I could say differently but I would chose not to leave my children with a male babysitter. A male teacher at a school situation is fine but not a teenage male babysitting in my home. My good friend is involved in the justice system and says too often she sees these cases. I just chose to err of the side of caution. This does not mean that I think most teenage boys are molesters because clearly they are not!

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Gosh, this is the same way my sister and I were molested - by our 15 year old male babysitter. I could go into details but I won't, suffice to say it was not a good thing for us in our lives despite trying to make the experience into a learning experience.

Don't forget the male relatives of whomever is doing the babysitter - my father was molested by the husband of the gal who was taking care of him. It isn't just who is in charge but who is around, including boyfriends...

My biggest message, teach your kids that if it feels icky it probably is and to tell you, and then LISTEN. If it feels icky to you or not quite right, it probably is wrong and take action to get your kids out. And listen to what your guts are telling you, there is usually some truth to it.

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Aside from the high cost one reason we don't get sitters is because the teen girls we've tried bore my two boys to death, preferring instead to play with our baby sister. I would get a boy sitter in a second if I could find one. They are not exactly clamoring for the job, prolly since they know most families won't have them. When I was kid my brothers and I preferred a boy that watched us sometimes. He was awesome- he actually played with us rather than bossing us around like a lot of the girls.

My family is mostly male and I have two sons so I really don't think it's fair to reject all boys outright, you have to do a lot of homework. You have to listen to your gut, like Ethel says. I meet more kids and moms who want playdates that I get a bad vibe from over the few teenage boys in my life.

Also Nannycams work best when the sitter knows they are there. It keeps them on thier toes. If the boy had been told about it, would he have done this? Or would have been concerned about being caught on tape?

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I'm with you guys on this one... being PC means nothing to me when my child's well-being is potentially at risk... I've seen too many of these stories in the press. It doesn't mean I think that all teenaged boys are trouble, it just means that I'm not willing to take the chance that the one I hire to watch my child is.

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Aside from the high cost one reason we don't get sitters is because the teen girls we've tried bore my two boys to death, preferring instead to play with our little girl. I would get a boy sitter in a second if I could find one. They are not exactly clamoring for the job, prolly since they know most families won't have them. When I was kid my brothers and I preferred a boy that watched us sometimes. He was awesome- he actually played with us rather than bossing us around like a lot of the girls.

My family is mostly male and I have two sons so I really don't think it's fair to reject all boys outright, you have to do a lot of homework. You have to listen to your gut, like Ethel says. Frankly, I meet more kids and moms who want playdates that give me a bad vibe over the few teenage boys in my life.

Also Nannycams work best when the sitter knows they are there. It keeps them on thier toes. If the boy had been told about it, would he have done this? Or would he have been concerned about being caught on tape?

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LB, I agree with you about the cams working best when the sitters know they are there, it will certainly keep them on their toes. Sure, this boy would not have done these heinous acts had he known, but then what would happen with the next family he might have sat for that didn't have a camera? He might've molested more children for years to come. I really think this was a community service that was performed, getting a possible lifetime pedophile/sexual predator off of the streets.

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My son's daycare is on the university campus where I work. They employ a small number of undergraduate students who work a few hours a week in the classrooms. Their duties are limited but the students all have undergone background checks and have received training. Some of the students babysit on the side. The most in-demand of these students is a male. I haven't even had the chance to meet him yet but I've been trying since October.

(The center frequently closes for staff development on days the university is not closed, so there are a bunch of us all looking for help at the same time, including an entire week in August, which is the busiest time of the year for most of the university's employees. Fun!!)

He comes so highly recommended from both teachers and other parents that I would not hesitate to hire him.

Based on the comments already posted, maybe this is a truly unique situation, but I don't think I will disqualify sitters purely on the basis of their gender.

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I would be reluctant to let a man watch my children. It i just not their instinct to be "motherly". IMO men who WANT to watch children for a living "just aint right".

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Wow. The first question I had when I read the title of this post was "which boy?" Would I hire a random boy to sit my kid? No. Would I be more cautious about hiring a boy than a girl? Yup. But would I automatically reject, say, my young cousins --- two really good kids, both of whom I've watched interact with their younger sister ever since she was born, each of whom is engaged and conscientious with my daughter when we visit their family --- as babysitters just because they're boys? No.

I can understand the position of the commenters who've been abused, or had loved ones abused, by boys or men who've been responsible for their care. But when Griffioen writes, "I just don't think I would ever trust a teenage boy to take care of her," I assume he really means that he doesn't know any teenage boys that he'd trust to take care of her, which is quite a different thing.

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My older brother was a babysitter, and not just for me. For three different families. One of the boys he babysat for eventually wrote an essay in high school about how my brother was his hero and crap like that. Once when my brother was visiting me from out of town, and I had to babysit, I called the family and asked if they'd mind if my brother came along with me, saying he'd babysat as a teenager, but I would understand if they rathered he stayed home. They didn't mind at all, and the two boys I was babysitting for were thrilled to have a "big boy" to talk and play with.

I don't have kids (I just babysit for them), but if I did and was considering a babysitter, I'd like to think I'd be as openminded as the families that let my brother babysit for them. And I know I'd let my brother babysit my kids in a heartbeat.

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Ginny, that is taking it WAY too far.

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I don't really have issues with boys/men babysitting, but my personal experience hasn't been stellar. One of my sitters is engaged, and her fiance has helped out on occasion when she needs to go to class or to her internship. He loves our son very much, but he just doesn't have much instinct. Maybe when he becomes a dad himself? All I know is that whenever I pick up Max after the fiance has watched him, he's kind of dirty and always pretty hungry. It's like fiance doesn't have the confidence or wherewithal to make his own decisions about Max's care. Unless the sitter or I leave EXPLICIT instructions (put on his coat, feed him when he is hungry, etc.), he just kind of flounders.
That said, it could be a case of this fiance being a dumb guy and not any reflection on male sitters in general. I've just found that my female sitters are more comfortable following their instinct and making educated decisions about the care of my children.

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My husband did far more babysitting when he was a teenager than I did. He was in demand, in fact, by many parents because the kids loved that he was so fun. His biggest goal every night was getting the kids to bed so that he could play their Nintendo, so he would run them ragged with crazy games until they collapsed in giggly, sleepy heaps.

By contrast, I was the world's most boring babysitter, arriving with nothing more exciting than crayons and paper.

My daughter is 4 and just got her first male teacher in swimming. It is her fourth set of lessons, and the first three, despite being taught by young, perky girls bored her to tears. In contrast, she loves her teenage male teacher, because he lets them be more adventurous and keeps everyone involved with silly songs and games in the water. He is far more enthusiastic than the girls were. I was happy to see that her teacher was going to be a male, because I want her to realize that men can be good teachers, too, as her preschool is also an all female staff.

It's too bad that there are some males in society that have managed to cause fear and distrust in parents regarding their child's caregivers. I guess parents have to rely on their gut instincts. Whether a potential caregiver is male or female, most parents would likely have a sense that the person would care for their children properly or not. With the case mentioned, there had to have been a feeling in the dad that something was wrong enough that he got a nanny-cam.

I think that there are probably many teenage boys out there who would be excellent babysitters, and it is too bad that some sick people have caused people not to trust boys as a whole.

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We have used a teenage boy babysitter and would do it again. I think a lot of people have had some personal experiences that make them wary of the general group of teenage boys... but we have a neighborhood babysitter who has sat for us and others on our block. Admittedly it's nice that his mother is just down the street if he needs help but he just hung out at our house (playing PS2) while our 2 year old slept. He had to deal with a puking 2-yr old once and handled it really well, after a brief panic. I think he's a responsible young adult and I think we need to remember that the feedback you give kids and young adults is going to affect how they feel about themselves and others... so this type of generalization is going to make an impression on potential babysitters and your children. That said, it's important to use good judgement when choosing babysitters.

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I won't. Partly it's my personal bias because as a 7/8 year old I was molested by a teen boy. But, I've also seen enough OTHER instances of molestation and such that I won't do it. I don't even plan on leaving my girl with her older brothers, when they are "old enough" to babysit her (i.e., 12, 13, 14, 15).

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One of the reasons we chose our current daycare is because they have a male teacher (he teaches art, and he sees all of the 2-year-olds-and-up every day). I don't want my daughter to get the idea that only women are "qualified" to do childcare. I'd love to have a male babysitter.

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Kris-I'd be interesting in hearing more about why your own boys are not getting your trust, if you're up to sharing. My 10 yr old son is good at keeping on eye on his sibs when I jump in the shower or do a load of laundry, etc. I have every intention of having him hold down the fort with his sibs when he's old enough.

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