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BabyCenter: I *won't* get pulled into your whirlpool of parental terror
Filed under: Development/Milestones: Babies, Media, Gadgets, That's Entertainment
While I'm ranting and raving
at mainstream media over their treatment of parents, let me just take a minute to talk to you, BabyCenter. Yes,
you. You see, the thing is, I've worked for many a year in marketing. I understand what you're trying to do, with these
headlines. You're appealing to my fears. You know how old my baby is - heck, I told you, I even told you his
name - and your team of crack parenting experts has sliced and diced the world of parental woes until you've made
tables and charts of the things I most fear, and you deliver them to me on the subject line of my email."Avoid common childproofing mistakes," says one. "Is your child in the best school?" says another. "7 signs that your child loves you," says another (oh! could you tug a little harder at the strings holding up my fragile parenting ego?) "Car seat mistakes almost all parents make" arrived January 29, only two days before "7 ways to be a better parent" on January 31. I can only imagine one of those ways is to adjust the car seat properly. And if you do that, your child will love you! Right?
The day after I wonder "Is your child's emotional development on track," I get "8 signs of a bad
babysitter." Could my child's emotional development be harmed by his babysitter? I have to wonder. Two
days after I read "Why you may still look pregnant" I get "6 real moms" who "reveal their
fitness secrets." Other "secrets" I may learn this year include those for "successful
time-outs" and (my personal favorite) how to "be the best mom possible in 2006" ('cause I clearly sucked
so badly in 2005).
I refuse to click through to most of these lists, secrets, mistakes and open-ended,
terror-inducing questions. I won't be pulled into your whirlpool of parental terror, BabyCenter. Reading your email
subjects is enough reminder of all the ways I fail at being that perfect parent, whose child is getting enough sleep
and has been enrolled in the "best" school since he was just the size of a kidney bean (as your weekly email
so kindly informed me).
And frankly, I don't need any more terror in my life. I don't need anyone else
asking me if my child is getting good enough nutrition or if his car seat is buckled properly. Reading BabyCenter
rarely gives me a solution that works for me: it just reminds me to worry. And I'm all full up on angst, right here.
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
3-20-2006 @ 8:49AM
LS said...My advice is to click the "unsubscribe" button, and then follow through. Moms have enough trouble being Mom without having the media put pressure on. I don't subscribe to any of those "advice" columns since I started reading "What to expect when you're expecting" (remember THAT post a month or so back?), and started worrying about every.little.movement my baby made while in utero. I threw away the book. Now I take advice from my mom, the World's Best. And my mother-in-law, who runs a pretty close second.
And since then? Stress, goodbye... instincts, hello!
Reply
3-20-2006 @ 9:02AM
Kate said...I gave up on parenting advice magazines - online & print - when I was pregnant with my first. I was at the gym and read an article which went something like this:
1. Tap water may be harmful to pregnant women and their babies!!!
2. Bottled water may be just as bad!!!
3. There's really no way you can tell if the water you are drinking is bad!!!
4. Remember to drink lots and lots of water while you're pregnant!!!
Thanks for the...help?
Reply
3-20-2006 @ 9:10AM
thordora said...I've found US print and online material a bit more reactionary and "freaky" than Canadian, although I'm afraid my favorite "Today's Parent" will go that way more and more...
I pick and choose what to read. Thankfully, I don't get caught up in it.
And Kate, that cracked me right up! :)
Reply
3-20-2006 @ 10:56AM
Ms Sisyphus said...I freed myself from the mommy media mafia a few years ago, and I haven't looked back.
I find that they do a lot of fear mongering--generally in the name of selling you stuff. The underlying message of many articles tends to be "You will be the perfect mother, if only you have the right stuff. Without thees utterly necessary items (like wipes warmers *eyeroll*) your child will suffer and you will be a baaaad mother."
As I've previoulsy posted, I also got very fed up with their narrow constructions of the experience motherhood, and the half-assed lipservice they paid to anything that fell outside of that--trying to maintain the advertising demographic without ever really bothering to make themselves relevant to it.
I think I'm a much better, happier, more confident mother since I left the glossy promises of parenting perfection behind me.
Reply
3-20-2006 @ 10:57AM
Mom101 said...Yes yes yes yes YES YES YES YES YES!!!!
And that's all I have to say about that.
Reply
3-20-2006 @ 11:07AM
Kristen said...Not sure where my original comment went, but all I said was that I cancelled my email subscription A LONG time ago. Their articles are ridiculous - and I think they put undue pressure on parents who don't know any better (aka ME).
Their developmental charts are ridiculous. They'd have anyone running to a speech therapist in a matter of minutes.
Reply
3-20-2006 @ 12:58PM
karrie said...Too funny! The worst for me, as a heavier woman, was when I was pregnant, every other day they would run a headline along these lines: Obese Women Have Increased Chance of Dying While Taking Diabetes Test. or Obese Mothers More Often To Give Birth Via C-section To A Chihuahua @@
Reply
3-20-2006 @ 1:13PM
ann adams said...I see them in the doctor's office (where I usually bring a book or crossword puzzle so I won't be forced to read them).
They're awful. If everything they said were true, why are there so many happy, healthy kids?
Yes to all of the above. The less time we spend reading that garbage, the more time we will have for the important things in life (like this).
Reply
3-20-2006 @ 2:07PM
Missy said...Oh goodness, I guess I'm in the minority. I love reading all of the alarmist crap that mothers get sent. It cracks me up. I love reading about medical conditions and worst case scenarios. I was sucked into those specials on the TLC about high risk pregnancy and delivery the whole time I was pregnant.
I know I'm in the minority.
Reply
3-20-2006 @ 7:00PM
Becca said...I'm right there with you Missy. I enjoy reading all that stuff too. I have been known to watch some of those shows as well. They are interesting.
Reply
3-20-2006 @ 8:58PM
P's Mama said...I have had a subscription to Babycenter since I found out I was pregnant with my little girl (9-months old) and the ONLY reason I still log on is to read a blog of another first-time mommy (Joyce) that I find thrilling. She is so honest and funny about her experiences, and I can totally relate. Other than that, the only link I've clicked on recently is the one I received today about when my kid is ready for finger foods (like Cheerios). I've been PARANOID about when to give these to her, so I was curious as to what BC thought about it. As always, the tag line gave the illusion I was going to get my answer, but alas, I did not. I'm telling you, when Joyce's year-long blog is up in 12 weeks, I will be done with the site. I have enough stuff spinning around in my head, I don't need any more from outside sources.
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