'The Voice' Crowns Its Winner
Mitch Kellaway: Father's Day as a Transgender Man
I just found the greatest kid stuff at Wal-Mart!
I know I've written a lot about Wal-Mart
this and Wal-Mart that, how Wal-Mart destroys small town economies, screws its own workers, sells too much Chinese-made
crap, yadda yadda yadda. That was probably because I had never actually been to a Wal-Mart. I was driving in the
California hinterlands the other day and I saw one gleaming from miles away down the highway. I stopped to check out
what all the hubbub is about, and boy was I surprised. Holy smokes is this place awesome!
Look at all this stuff I bought at Wal-Mart's everyday low prices! A Disney pink princess television for my daughter's bedroom! The Excalibur World Series of Poker 6-Player Plug-and-Play Texas Hold 'Em Game! (I want her on TV like all those classy ladies playing poker on the cable channels). And there are so many educational devices with blips and bleeps that are going to make our Juniper so much smarter than all the other babies who don't get the benefit of educational toys that go blip and bleep. And I finally got around to buying her a Baby Einstein video to watch on her television. Hello, what was I thinking before? This this is great. I can totally sit her 13-month-old butt in front of the pink princess TV and totally have the silence and focus necessary to watch my bootleg copies of the Father Dowling Mysteries on DVD. That Tom Bosley is such a card!
Wal-mart, I apologize. You rock!
(P.S. -- Happy April Fool's Day!)
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
4-01-2006 @ 4:19PM
Kris said...Wow, you and Melissa both got me! For about 15 seconds anyway. :)
Reply
4-01-2006 @ 5:39PM
Meredith said...I say you serve her up a big zoo pals plate of Snickers and Sunny D. If its good enough for Stefania's kids.....
Reply
4-01-2006 @ 6:15PM
Missy said...I heart you, Dutch.
Reply
4-01-2006 @ 6:26PM
Anna V. said...I just had to say that out of all the false posts, this one was the most outrageous, and the funniest.
Not to be snarky, but I never liked April Fool's Day. Besides the fact that I'm known to be gullible (I thought several posts were for real for several minutes), I just think lying to play a joke is more for kids. But seriously, this one takes the cake.
Reply
4-01-2006 @ 8:00PM
Mir said...Dutch, I sure hope you got a few Rollback Priced boxes of wine to go with all of that... then it would be PERFECT!
Reply
4-01-2006 @ 8:45PM
Belinda said...Okay, I know this is April Fools, but I love Wal-Mart. And not only because I work there, money is VERY tight and I can get just about anything there cheaper then anyother store. I mean because I work for Wal-Mart don't mean much, they only give us a measly 10% and it is only towards regular priced items and no food. It sucks, but it is still the only store I can afford to shop in. I've been shopping at Wal-Mart for as longs as I can remember!
Reply
4-02-2006 @ 11:16AM
Nancy said...Good one! although I knew that there was no way you would actually be in support of Wal-Mart. I just wasn't sure, until I read through to the end, what angle you would be taking.
Speaking of Wal-Mart, I want to look more into Target's business practices... they seem to get all of the praise (in that the higher income, higher educated consumers who "despise" Wal-Mart are more than willing to shop at Target) and none of the criticism that Wal-Mart gets. I enjoy shopping at Target, but I feel in some ways it must be hypocritical to shop there while avoiding Wal-Mart (if it's for their business practices rather than the obvious aesthetic differences). Then again, maybe my feelings are inaccurate and Target does not employ any of the same practices that puts many of us off of Wal-Mart. Ooo, I'd hate to stop shopping at Target, and at the same time I'm very curious...
Reply