Dear 'Abby-Wabby' takes on baby talk

We have a lab where I work (Carnegie Mellon University) that is investigating this topic. http://www.psy.cmu.edu/~thiessen/labpage.html

Dr Erik Thiessen has been featured on NPR. A clip of the story is on the website.

I've taken my son to participate in his studies.

Reply

To be fair, the woman who said her kids were gifted was probably right. College at 14? Talking in complete sentences at 10 months? That's pretty advanced.

I do hate it when people say, "My gifted child" or "I was a gifted child". You're not so gifted now, are ya?

Honestly, though, I wouldn't want to be those kids. Talk about having nothing in common with other kids your age.

It is nice to know that talking "baby babble" isn't going to kill anyone. Oh wait, you mean I'm not supposed to use it on my husband?

Reply

As long as I'm venting...

I can't stand people who say "My child is absolutely adorable!" or beautiful, cute, etc.

Any child is, by design, supposed to be cute.

(I'll shut up now.)

Reply

Essentially, it's just parents looking for justification when they mention they have a gifted child, or their child is above grade level.

I teach my children to be proud of themselves. And I am proud OF them, but not proud FOR them.

I don't feel the need to flaunt anything that they do. They will bring it up if they feel like it, and they usually do not like to be focused on.

On the topic of 'baby talk'...I don't think it hurts or helps. It is just something I think some of us have an inclination to do. I never spoke to my children in a higher toned voice...at least not constantly. And I NEVER spoke to them in broken or improper English.

It was mentioned...speaking in a baby voice and using horrible grammar are two separate things. You can change your tone...you can't change, "Me want cookie", at least not easily.

Reply

The mom of the "gifted" children needs to get back to school herself and learn the difference between correlation and causation. The fact that she didn't use babytalk and her kids are gifted means ... her kids are gifted. It doesn't say anything about anyone else does.

Reply

I like how the thrid letter-writer differentiated between sing-songy tones and bad grammer. I think this is where the confusion as to whether or not "baby talk" is good. I spoke in a sing-songy tone to my children too. Not by any kind of conscious descision, it was just natural. It's just "not right" to speak to a baby as you would an adult....and I'm not referring to the words, only the tone. People need to GET OVER IT and start treating babies like babies.

Reply

Kim -
Has Dr. Thiessen done any studies on "baby talk"? If so, what is HIS opinion?

Reply

Missy - what is worse is when the kids hear it so often from their parents, they start saying it. My niece told me on many occasion that she was gifted. I just got so sick of hearing it.

Reply

We have always talked to our children in the ways that we would like them to eventually talk. It must be working, because my 2.5 year old speaks in full sentances, and has for a while now. We saw no reason to speak in any weird tones, aside from gentle ones when they're upset.

We over enunciate difficult words when they're learning, especially for the youngest who's almost talking. We both believe that we cannot expect proper english from our children if we ourselves don't use it. So my speech has also improved. It just felt right.

Reply

For the record, my children spoke in complete sentences early even WITH my "weird tones".

Reply

I am engaged in an ongoing battle with my MIL, who insists on referring to herself in the third person ("Grandma will help J"), and uses 'baby words' for things, such as "it's time to go bye-bye/night-night".

My husband and I never use this type of "baby talk" and it confuses our son when others do. In fact, I had to calm him down when she said "we're going bye-bye" and he misunderstood, thinking his grandparents were leaving, when the truth was that we were all going on an outing.

It's very confusing for our child (and others, I'm sure) when the adults in his life use different speech patterns. Unfortunately, it has turned into a major battle with MIH, because she considers herself a child care professional, and figures she knows how to raise our son better than we do...

Reply

I don't think I've ever used baby talk to a baby although I say silly things to them all the time. I don't know if it makes a difference. The girls speak properly but they've picked up some unfortunate grammatical and pronunciation errors from their peers.

Lately, I've been focusing on double negatives, proper use of pronouns, and the word "library" Girls, it has two "r's", not one.

Missy, I've been heard to say the girls are adorable. May I be excused because grandmas and great-grandmas are exempt from the rule?

Reply

Ginny - Yes, Dr Thiessen has done research in this area. His research found that baby talk does help babies learn words and language faster. Listening to the npr clip provides a nice nutshell version. Here's a link to the page with the clip:

http://www.psy.cmu.edu/~thiessen/news.html

Reply

Ann, I think grandparents are exempt because they didn't personally create the child. Since they're a step removed, it's a little more appropriate.

I'm just getting sick of parents who have to tell me that their child/children are so beautiful, all of the time. I feel like telling them they might be giving their kid a complex. Or themselves...

Melissa, I see your point.

Reply

My daughter is 15 months old and she only says "Mama" and "Hi". She babbles constantly, but physically is she is running, kicking, and throwing a ball (or objects) and is also trying to catch (something I know is typical of a two year old, but her daddy is very athletic). She also tries to help clean (everyone says this is normal and not to get use to it) and she understands a lot. Right now I am trying to get her to talk (and I am even working with sign language, she is picking that up fast) and trying to teach her to calm down and stop hitting and head butting. Yesterday I got a swollen upper lip because of her sudden violent head butts to my mouth and even though the swelling has gone away, I still have a nice bruise. I am still searching for more information as far as talking goes, I don't know if she is right on track or is she behind? We USE to talk baby talk to her, I have stopped and I am getting my fiance to stop. Even my mom says she should be talking. I don't know, maybe we let her get away with grunting too much.

Reply

I have to watch my niece when we visit. She's a little mama, and will talk to Paul in baby talk inspired by cartoons. It just confuses him, but she thinks that's how you talk to babies, since you see it on tv.

I am guilty of speaking about myself in the third person to my son. He hears my husband call me Katy, and he's been calling me "kitty" instead of Mama for the past few weeks. I'll usually substitute Mama for me to encourage him to call me Mama again.

I think this may be karma biting me in the ass for insisting calling my dad by his first name for the first 7 years of my life. Although I will have to admit the looks I get in the grocery store when he announces "hewwoooo kih tee!!" when I take him out of the cart are priceless.

Reply

Belinda, she sounds like she's right on track. I think most of the parenting books I have seem to agree that the average 15 month old says between 1-5 understandable words.

Some kids just don't have a lot to say. My sister has always been a quiet person, and she only said a few words until she was close to 2. IIRC, it's not a problem unless your child doesn't speak more clearly over time or stops using words all of a sudden. But if you feel in your gut there is a problem, I'd follow up with your pediatrician just to rule that out.

Reply