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Portable DVD players in public: how far is too far?
Filed under: Activities: Babies, Places To Go, Development/Milestones: Babies, Gadgets, That's Entertainment
I'm not even going to feign objectivity here, nor pretend that my view on
this issue is in line with many other parents. We don't let our kid watch television nor do we plan on letting her
anytime soon. When I am waiting at a stoplight behind a minivan or an SUV with one of those entertainment systems with
a DVD of that blue fish movie playing I start ranting about how kids these days can't do anything without the numbing
sight and sound of TELEVISION placating them. When I was a kid I got dragged around on long drives with my parents and
when we got bored we sang songs or played games or looked out the windows and imagined what it was like to live in
the places we passed.
Hollyrhea sent me a tip about this story which concerns those ubiquitous portable DVD players that you see kids carting all over the place nowadays. The author describes dining with her family and seeing another family with a 4-year-old girl who spent the entire meal watching Cinderella loudly on one of those portable players. She says she could hear the strains of "Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo" well above the din of the restaurant. The judgmental author had the following problems with this behavior, and I tend to agree with her:
- these parents demonstrated through their own thoughtlessness that they did not believe it was necessary to devote time or energy to thinking about how their actions might affect others.
- these parents showed the child she had nothing of interest to tell them and they had nothing they felt was worth discussing with her.
- these parents failed to take advantage of the opportunity to teach their daughter an indispensable life skill -- the ability to participate in a thoughtful and courteous conversation.
But don't those points apply to any use of a portable DVD player in public? Sure these things can reduce whining and give parents valuable quiet time (perhaps to talk to each other), but doesn't the bad outweigh the good? I guess like anything, moderation is the key. But the very existence of these devices seems to betray the idea of moderation, that televised entertainment isn't limited to the living room but knows no boundaries beyond battery life.
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ReaderComments (Page 3 of 3)
4-14-2006 @ 9:19PM
mommy2boys said...yes i have a dvd player in my car. it is HEAVENLY when i need to concentrate on driving. i don't see any problem with using it in the car. a restaurant is a different matter entirely. i would never take a dvd player in a restaurant, it would be rude to the other diners, and isn't a family meal a time when you should be TALKING to each other? i'm sure that family could have found some other way to entertain their child than sticking a movie in front of her in a restaurant. but...i do believe tv is okay in moderation. the car is one thing. a restaurant is another.
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4-17-2006 @ 7:28AM
JennyS said...When I was a kid my parents fought all the time. We wend on SEVERAL long car trips only to be told to be quiet most of the time. Now there were times we did fun things but overall the car was "quiet time".
As a young child I would have thanked All That Is Holy for a DVD player.
I do not have one for the car but if I was feeling stressed (moms get stressed?) or quietly arguing with my hubby (not ususal but it happens) a DVD player would be a great break for my daughter.
Parents sometimes need a break too. I guess if I brought the DVD I would bring shorter movies so she was not staring at if for hours on end.
We have yet to take a car ride longer than 3 hours but if we ever do... a DVD is not a horrible solution.
Also - I loved the "resturaunt bag" idea!
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4-17-2006 @ 10:38AM
Michelle said...Caitlin, No, the DVD player is not the only way to entertain your children on car trips. Generally, when my husband is able to travel with us, which happens, MAYBE once every six months, we don't use it. On those happy occasions, he can concentrate on navigating the big, bad roads and I can tend to the needs of the children. (We also can stop so Mommy can go to the bathroom!) But on the monthly trips I make with the kids WITHOUT hubby, it is not always feasible to have my attention divided. I don't know what kind of roads you drive on, but I drive between Atlanta and Birmingham and I wish I could win the lottery so I could buy a helicopter and fly over that hellacious, dangerous traffic.
I think it is wonderful that you are able to take that time in the car and devote it to your kids, some of our children are not perfect angels on the road, however. And some of us have to make those difficult choices to do all those things we swore we would NEVER do BC. My children are not going to be ruined or antisocial because they sometime watch a movie on the way to Grandma's House.
As a matter of fact, my 3 yr old is, IMO, very well spoken, intelligent, and quite sociable. My son is quite well adjusted as well, considering he was 15 weeks early and spent 3 mos in NICU and for almost 2 years, the only people he has been around is immediate family, doctors and therapists. So, nope, TV is not ruining this family, thank you very much.
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4-20-2006 @ 8:56AM
Lori Pickert said...We took a 22-hr road trip to Quebec last year and the portable DVD player (bought for that trip) made it bearable for my two sons, age 5 and 8 at the time. Mind you, that's 22 hours *in each direction*.
We took it into the hotel room in the evenings and they could watch cartoons ($1 DVDs from the dollar store) or play those plug-n-play video games on it while we watched Law & Order. It was AWESOME.
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5-25-2006 @ 11:45PM
Christie said...As a Mom to 5 kids under 9 - all of you who have kids under 3 seem to be patting yourselves on the back that you don't let them watch TV or DVD's at home or in the car. WOW!!! Show me a toddler who will sit for more than minutes to do anything, much less watch TV!! Now - reality!!! Once your kids are over 3 but less than 7 years, they can't read enough to read books in the car. They don't have the understanding to play the license plate game for long, etc. Also, major point here - anyone who says, "When I was a kid we used to do blah-blah on car trips, and we got along fine!", well those were the days before kids are in booster seats until they are 7 years old! I used to lay down in the back of my parents station wagon too! I challenge any of you to find entertainment for young kids who can't read and are strapped in a car seat. You can only eat so many snacks, look at picture books, etc. DVD players in the car are a sanity saver for everyone - the trip in part of the experience, but the real family time occurs when we get to our destination. Don't harp on parents who use these devices as a cop out! As far as the parents who let their daughter watch Cinderella in a restaurant, I've never seen such a thing, but, without knowing these parents I wouldn't judge to harshly. What if they had spent the entire day at a kids museum or an amusement park w/the child? Don't assume that the parents are selfish from that one snapshot! Maybe these parents are traveling and don't have the option of a babysitter and just needed a meal! Give these parents a break - but, it would be appropriate to ask the manager to ask the parents to turn the volume down!
Remember - you cannot use the same measuring stick on today's parenting challenges as when you were growing up - it's a different world!
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7-03-2006 @ 12:47PM
Keri said...No DVD player here nor will there be any in the near (or even far) future. We have a TV (no cable) but it's in the basement and used for grown-ups to watch an occassional movie. I grew up traveling across the country to visit family and did just fine without any kind of technology. Prior to a trip, my mother would take us to the library where I would check out 20 or so books (I was a BOOKWORM).
My 11-month-old son and I travel often to visit my mother who is four hours away. He naps for about half of the trip (our departure time is when he's ready for a nap). When he gets fussy, we stop to take a break to play for a bit and/or eat a snack. At the beginning, it was hard to travel with him because he would cry constantly but now he's older and used to the traveling, it's much easier.
DVDs, gameboys and the likes at the dinner table? NO WAY. I was not even allowed to have my books at the dinner table (that's how much of a bookworm I was and still am!). I'm sorry to be blunt but if you cannot deal with your kids or entertain them in ways that will stimulate their brains, why have kids in the first place?
Besides the AAP recommends that children 2 and younger NOT watch any kind of television. And for a good reason too. After reading Diane E. Levin's book: "Remote Control Childhood" and attending her workshop, we have banned electronic toys in our house. So far, so good. My son is a very happy little boy, capable of entertaining himself for hours at a time. =D
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