Free theatre for nursing babies

by Karen Walrond (Subscribe to Karen Walrond's posts) Apr 29th 2006 6:05PM

Via Boston.com news: Lawmakers in Rhode Island are considering legislation making it legal for breastfeeding mothers to bring their infants to theatres and other live performances free of charge. State representative Peter Kilmartin (D-Pawtucket) introduced the bill when told by a breastfeeding mother that she was required to pay an additional US$75 to take her child to the show.

The law would only apply to children under 1 year old, and only to breastfeeding children, under the assumption that children who aren't breastfed could more easily stay at home with a babysitter.

Now, I never breastfed, so take my opinion with a grain of salt; however, I think this is a bad idea. I love plays, so nothing annoys me more if I'm at a play that's clearly not for children, and a child starts crying in the middle of it. Furthermore, I think it's really rude to the performers to create a disturbance -- and I think a child crying because he or she is hungry would count. I haven't been to a play in quite some time due to the fact that my daughter is still young -- frankly, that's the plight of motherhood to young children -- sometimes the stuff you like to do has to stop; or, in the alternative, requires a babysitter to watch your child if you insist on seeing a play. Why should the performers and other patrons of a performance be disturbed?

What do you think?

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Comments (19)

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

Sky 4-29-2006 @ 6:29PM

It is a great idea. I am a breastfeeding mother and would have LOVED to have been able to go to more events outside of the home. Due to my son breastfeeding (and me on doctor's orders not to give him a bottle for a few weeks until breastfeeding was well established, due to some problems our son had that put him in Children's Hospital for a week - long story), I was basically tied to the home or to places where I could have easy access to my vehicle so I could breastfeed him.

And no need to worry about fussy babies. Breastfed babies that are in close contact with their mothers rarely get to the fussy/crying stage. We are able to read our babies hunger cues and get them to breast quickly enough so that they don't get to the frantic crying stage of hunger. So the argument of other patrons or performers being disturbed is basically a weak one at best.

If a mother is attentive and the baby is fed in a timely manner, you'd never even know he/she is there.

My suggestion, before locking yourself into a "babies are bad in public" mindset, is to view a range of breastfeeding mothers and their breastfed babies. Because the majority will surprise you with how quiet they truly are.

amy 4-29-2006 @ 6:50PM

I agree that is a great idea. We were just at a concent where there were several babies in slings and they never made a peep. I second Sky's idea that the babies creating a disturbance is a weak argument. She is spot on about the moms being able to read hunger cues and get the baby latched before cyring even begins.

A law like this would help moms who are breastfeeding feel less isolated and more a part of the larger world. Aren't we raising our children to be part of our society and culture. It is never too early to start.

Melissa 4-29-2006 @ 6:53PM

I completely agree with you. There are some places a baby doesn't belong. If a mom can't bear being without her baby for a night, why I am I being subjected to her babies cry? I don't believe in being a martyr, but there are some things we give up when we have children.

I also think it's incredibly rude to the performers. Distraction is distraction whether it's from an adult or crying baby.

Sharon 4-29-2006 @ 7:56PM

Your comments: I am happy to hear about this. An even better concept, which might only work in a very large city, is a movie theatre or performing arts center specifically for nursing mothers and mothers with younger children, with childcare offered at
the theatre.

I gladly gave up the luxury of not being able to
watch R-rated movies after giving birth to my chidren. Yes, I could've gotten a babysitter at home, but somehow didn't feel justified in getting a sitter just to see a movie. I had often thought about taking my oldest daughter with me to view a movie while
I was nursing her, but was afraid it would be disruptive. I wouldn't have even attempted to go to a live performance with my babies/children. For these, we did get a sitter and still do unless it's Sound of Music, The Nutcracker, Riverdance, etc.

momma2mingbu 4-29-2006 @ 8:22PM

I'm a big lactivist. But I also used to work professionally in the theatre. As a stage manager, I've had to ask people who brought noisy babies or children to step outside with them. A VERY YOUNG baby (not old enough to be mobile...like 4 months or younger...in other words "a babe in arms") is probably not going to be a problem if the nursing mother is attentive. If the child is old enough to be getting mobile and interested in the world around him or her...well...live theatre may not be the best place for them. They could be distracting to the other patrons and to the actors as well.

Uly 4-29-2006 @ 8:57PM

Well, I'm in support of a modified form of this - *all* babies (not just breastfed ones) under the age of one, and only to performances which are child-friendly, especially those which are designed for older children. I can *just* afford to go to a children's performance (and nobody expects those audiences to be perfect anyway) with my elder niece, but not if I have to drag the baby along as well and buy her own ticket.

Cissa Fireheart 4-29-2006 @ 8:58PM

I think this is a bit ridiculous. I am not surprised that Rhode Island Lawmakers would consider this. They are so doggone corrupt, it's insane. They need something to make themselves look good. I grew up in RI. I know this...

OK, yes, being a new mom is a bit stressful, and we all know a nice night out to the theater can be great. We all also know that Breasfeeding is great for babies. But if you want to go to the theatre, for heavan's sake, pump the breast milk and leave the baby at home with the pumped stuff. The theatre seats in PPAC (where the big theatre shows occur) are not very big, nor is the space inbetween rows. If you bring a baby, no matter where you sit in there, it's loud, it's cramped, and the baby will probably get scared from the sudden loud music/voices, or you will be cramping the tiny seat next to you that someone else paid their $75 for. I wouldnt want to be near a crying baby, no matter what - breasfeeding or not -- unless I was at Sesame Street Live or something similar, where I wouls expect to see children. Taking you baby to see Wicked or Les Miserables is just not appropriate.

No, a night out should not be discoraged. But it also should be a night out-- Away from the baby. If you won't pump, or can't be brave enough to leave baby at home because he/she's so young, then wait until he/she's older and off the breast to go to a show. or fork over the $75 extra for the inconvinence to others at the theatre - including other patrons, workers, and the performers on stage.

I am not against breastfeeding in public in general. But I too am a former theatre performer, and I know that a baby being breastfed during a performance would not be appreciated by anyone.

Missy 4-29-2006 @ 11:56PM

I am a nursing mom and also a former classical musician. I realize that most people are thinking that it's no big deal to bring a nursing kid to, say, a rock concert (well, except for the obvious potential future hearing issues). Classical music and opera are waaay different. People give you funny looks if you cough too loud. I can't possibly imagine a nursing babe in arms.

I think this is ridiculous. It's noble but ridiculous.

SJ 4-30-2006 @ 12:30AM

Hmm...I'd possibly take this up during daytime hours, but not at night. Its hard because my boy won't take a bottle, so I really can't leave without him. At the same time, I'd like to enjoy my movie without having to worry about him crying.

Katheryn 4-30-2006 @ 12:34AM

When my son was quite young (only a 3 months old) my husband and I went to the theatre. I wasn't about to pump (new mom - kind of freaked about it) so we brought him with us. A few people gave us dirty looks when they saw us bringing in a baby, but he was so good that afterwards a couple of people came over and commented how they had completly forgotten that we had brought in our baby. This same thing has happened to us in movie theatres as well.

I think it's fine for the most time. Each baby is different. Some are more sensitive to sudden sounds and cry a lot. Moms who know this about their babies probably wouldn't bring them to theaters anyway.

Nina 4-30-2006 @ 1:24AM

I'm a new mom and breastfeeding my baby, but I think for live performance, this probably isn't a good idea. It's just disrespectful to the performers. If your baby is exceptionally quiet and not sensitive to sudden noises, then of course, you know best. But I think for the vast majority of children, it's just not realistic to expect them to keep quiet.

It's been awhile since I've been to the theatre and I wish I could go though! Some local movie theatres offer movie showing times that are especially baby/kid friendly, however, which is nice.

Melissa 4-30-2006 @ 1:46AM

Kathryn, I'll have to respectfully disagree with you. Most people think their baby is only making a little bit of noise, because it doesn't bother them. My son's crying doesn't bother me, but I hate to hear other people's.

It's just not the place for a baby. There will be a time when parents can get out of the house again. But for a young one, it's either pump, or don't go.

stellasmami 4-30-2006 @ 3:17AM

Well, I grew up in RI too, and I think this is WONDERFUL!!!! PROGRESS.

Breastfed babies, I will venture to say are different than bottlefed, in the fact that mama's breast is right there and they know when they want to nurse, and unless there are sick, are hardly noticeable. It makes me very uncomfortable to hear that parents with a baby under one year would leave them to go out to the theatre. this is a hot topic for me. I think our society is so anti-children, it's no wonder that so many people feel so uncomfortable watching a mom nurse. out of site out of mind...no wonder so many more women choose formula.

cee 4-30-2006 @ 10:57AM

I think it depends on the baby. A two month old baby would be content sleeping in a sling or baby carrier and a mother would know when it is time to feed the baby before he/she started to fuss.

A 10 month old baby would not be happy confined like that for very long, at least none of my babies would have been. Unless they are enjoying the show, they would want to be down crawling around and exploring thier surroundings.

Breastfeeding only lasts a year (or two), the shows will always be there. I skipped a lot of events because I had to choose between the event or breastfeeding, and I don't regret it at all.

Amanda 4-30-2006 @ 11:46AM

I have bottle fed and I am currently breastfeeding my 10 month and I can assure everyone that there is one thing breastfed and formula fed babies have in common: they cry and fuss unpredictably.

This has nothing to do with lactivism and everything to do with appropriate social behavior and sorry, young children do not belong in live theater. I think it is unfair of parents to have such high expectations of their children during the first year of live (seen but not heard) and it is unfair to the other patrons to subject them to a fussing/crying/milk-slurping/burping/tooting child.

Caitlin 4-30-2006 @ 3:07PM

I firmly believe that there should be adult only places outside of strip clubs or night clubs. A night out at the theater would run somewhere in the neighborhood of $250-300ish minimum (including tickets, dinner, and a babysitter).

Crying children happen, and it's one of those things people might shrug off at the $4.45 all you can eat pizza buffet because it's expected there. But after spending $150 on tickets, another $70 on the baby sitter and having to listen to a baby cry off and on during the performance? I can see why other people might be more than just a little irritated, especially the ones who took the trouble to get a babysitter.

kelly jeanie 4-30-2006 @ 8:16PM

From what I get out of the original article, it's not that breastfed babies would be necessarily allowed somewhere any other baby would be allowed, but just that if they were coming the parents wouldn't have to buy an extra ticket. I don't think this would force theaters to allow breastfeeding moms to bring their babies if other babies weren't allowed, just that if it was already okay to bring kids they wouldn't be required to buy an extra ticket.

I agree with Karen, that if the play isn't appropriate for kids, it's something you either have to give up while your kids are young or find a sitter. My husband and I went to see a movie when my baby was still breastfeeding, and left the baby with grandma. I don't think that makes me "anti-children". I have heard of movies that are screened for nursing moms, that would have been wonderful.

Amy 5-01-2006 @ 5:23PM

My 7.5 month old daughter went, with my entire family (parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.) to see my uncle in a community theater production of Arsenic and Old Lace. We went to the matinee, which was close to nap time. The women in front of us blew us some attitude over it (she actually said, "Is that a doll?" and I replied, "Yes, she's my lovey, I just don't feel right if she's not with me!" Ha ha...). I figured she'd just nurse to sleep as soon as the lights went down. Well, she didn't, so my husband took her into the lobby for most of the first act. She was ready for nap by the second act, so I sat in the last row, nursed her, and she didn't make a peep. Altogether, she made less noise than the old people around us who had to narrate the play to each other, because half of them were deaf as posts. They did not charge us for her admission. It was a lovely afternoon.

We also took her to see a movie (Narnia) on Superbowl Sunday - we were the only people in the whole theater. And she went to see an Imax movie about Mars, which she very much enjoyed. For the first one, she was about 5 months old, and for the second she was 6 months old. We were not charged for her admission to either of those, either.

More power to Rhode Island! I (obviously) think it's a great idea. I would encourage all nursing moms to Just Do It - I sometimes dread going out with my daughter, but I do it anyway and am always glad I did. I have nursed her everywhere - from the local college campus, to Target, to restaurants, to park benches. I figure if I'm out there, nursing and proud, maybe other nursing moms will feel more comfortable. It's not always easy, and sometimes I get embarassed (especially when she pulls the blanket off, but who can blame her when it's hot??), but I do it anyway, and you should too. If bottlefeeding moms aren't embarassed, we shouldn't be either. Breastfeeding is every baby's right, no matter where she is! I have never had anyone hassle me for nursing in public, either, even in conservative Indiana. Progress!

Jill 5-26-2006 @ 9:03AM

I am a breastfeeding mother of my four month old daughter. I think that allowing moms to bring their children wherever they go is an important one. Breastfeeding is a huge commitment and is abandoned by many because of the lack of support from the public. Breast milk is the best nourishment we can give our children in the first year of life and this would be a huge step to more acceptance and encouragment.

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