Killing our kids

by John Watson (Subscribe to John Watson's posts) Jun 13th 2006 3:30PM

I honestly cannot understand how someone a) can leave their child in a car long enough for them to die (accidentally or intentionally) and b) why we (government, the public) think that a slap on the wrist warning is punishment enough for parents who do it. I've written about this every Summer when I see the stories start rolling in about kids dying from hyperthermia in their parents' car. In many cases the perpetrator is young and stupid and does some jail time (the young woman who left her kids in the car while she stopped to buy drugs comes to mind). But in many others, the parent should have known better, the child dies, and the parent gets off with a warning because the whole thing was a tragic accident. An accident! Why is it an accident when a parent leaves a child to die in a car while he goes into a store to buy groceries?

Did you know that we have a law in California called Kaitlyn's Law (formally the Unattended Child in Motor Vehicle Act) that makes it an infraction (that's less than a felony) to leave a child alone in a car? The fine is $100. That's a $100 fine for a dangerous activity that kills dozens of children every year. But copying one song from a CD can land you up to 10 years in jail and $250,000 in fines. What's wrong with this picture?

And it really bothers me to read tips from experts to help parents remember their children. Tips like: leave your cellphone in the back seat so that when you get it you see your child. Which is a great tip if you think your cellphone is more important than your baby. We got a tip yesterday about forgetmenotusa.com which sells a window sticker with a visual reminder. I know they mean well, but stickers?

Some places have sensible law enforcement that will charge people with felony child endangerment, neglect, or abuse depending on the circumstances. Please, please, please: call the police if you see a child unattended in a car. Do something. You could be saving a life.

Hyperthermia Deaths of Children in Vehicles (San Francisco State University)
Heat related deaths to young children in parked cars: an analysis of 171 fatalities in the United States, 1995–2002 (PDF)

Comments (24)

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)

thordora 6-13-2006 @ 3:41PM

THis stuff gives me nightmares, and makes me glad we only take the bus.

IEC 6-13-2006 @ 4:33PM

Maybe if it hit these parents in the pocketbook or jail time, then they'd think twice and make sure the baby isn't left in the back seat. Heat related child deaths occur in my state all the time, and I hardly ever see a follow-up news story. It's like it just gets forgotten. To me, it's murder. The parent or parents deserve a harsher punishment. I'm tired of feeling sorry for them every time summer rolls around.

Would I go to jail for leaving my daughter in the back seat in 100 degree weather? Damn skippy.

IEC 6-13-2006 @ 4:36PM

Maybe if it hit these parents in the pocketbook or jail time, then they'd think twice and make sure the baby isn't left in the backseat. Heat related child deaths occur in my state all the time, and I hardly ever see a follow-up news story. It's like it just gets forgotten.

Would I go to jail for leaving my daughter in the back seat in 100 degree weather? Darn skippy.

Margaret 6-13-2006 @ 4:45PM

This happened in MA a few years ago. A very sweet and spacey guy forgot that his wife had put his baby in the car for him to take to daycare (he didn't usually do that). And he totally forgot. He went to work all day and had no idea what he had done until he got back to the car.

The baby died, and the father was so grief stricken he had to be carried into the funeral.

I don't think jail time would have made sense here.

Lotta 6-13-2006 @ 4:51PM

Shudder. I was at a Target last summer when a woman ran into the cafeteria screaming "I left my baby in the car and she's too hot". It was about an 85 day. I remember just staring at her in shock for a minute and then helping her get some wet napkins for the baby while someone called 911. Most of the people at the store just glared at her and didn't try to help.

Is leaving your kid in the car wrong. Hella yes. But I think like all parenting stuff less judgement and more prevention is the key. As inane as the "Don't forget your kid is in the car" gadgets are if they help some overbooked parent I'm glad they are out there.

http://mom-o-matic.blogspot.com/

Ginny 6-13-2006 @ 4:56PM

I think that jail time is not a stiff enough punishment.

AJ 6-13-2006 @ 5:22PM

Sure, a few parents intentionally leave children in cars, but I suspect most are accidents. There isn't a penalty that will save a child from an accidental death.

First and foremost, cars must be reengineered. If a car can beep to remind me my belt isn't buckled, it can beep when I close the driver side door without opening a passenger door or beep when I fail to unbuckle the baby seat. It's possible. We can expect better technology.

Here are two good reads:

Are Safety Experts Killing Our Kids?
http://www.asktog.com/columns/054ChildSafetySeats.html

Discussion of a child reminder car buckle system:
http://www.thingamababy.com/baby/2006/03/child_minder_ki.html

Nothing will change until we demand better from car and car seat manufacturers.

cee 6-13-2006 @ 5:49PM

Two summers ago I called the police because I noticed two unsupervised kids in the car close to mine in the parking lot at the grocery store. The window was cracked so I gave them a bottle of water while I waited for the police who were there in what seemed like seconds. The police officer bashed a window in and got the hot and sweaty kids out of the car/oven. The fire department came as well as EMS. The look of shock on that moms face whe she emerged was priceless. She was taken away in handcuffs. I never found out what happened after that.

I also get very mad when I see animals/pets left in cars.

momma2mingbu 6-13-2006 @ 5:50PM

My ex-SIL left my nephew in the car outside her work for about 20-30 minutes when he was 7 or 8 mos old. THANK GOODNESS my brother, who was supposed to be caring for him while she worked, called her at work to ask why she hadn't dropped him off yet. She basically got a slap on the wrist. Had to have a supervised visit with him for her first Mother's Day, which was the week of the incident. After that, not much happened. According to my Dad, she acted like it wasn't a big deal at all afterwards. Sad. Thank goodness it was May when this happened so it wasn't hot outside yet, because even in 20 minutes in the wrong weather conditions, it could have been tragic.

lin 6-13-2006 @ 5:52PM

If you can forget you have your child in the car maybe you shouldn't even be driving. When I don't have my son I still look back to make sure the windows are rolled up. I don't see how you can forget you have your child with you, maybe thats just me though.

Jenny 6-13-2006 @ 5:54PM

The "cell phone" tip is because a cell phone is probably part of your every day *routine* not because a cell phone is more important than a baby. The issue for some people is routine; if it is part of their routine it happens, if not, it doesnt. The relative importance of the things doesn't matter. If routine isn't important to you, count your blessings rather than judging. With all the ADHD-type people around these days we're talking about a fair percentage of the population.

I have sympathy for the true cases of forgetting. I do think that happens, particularly for those who need routines to get through the day, and especially when people are working two jobs, overwhelmed, and sleep deprived. No law is going to help that. Calling when you see an unattended kid IS going to help.

I have no sympathy for those who decide to leave their kids in the car for a "brief" errand. Laws should affect those people.

John Watson 6-13-2006 @ 5:58PM

AJ, why is it Toyota's responsibility to look after my child? I'm completely for child safety but I am 100% against government legislation shifting my responsibility to auto manufacturers.

Uly 6-13-2006 @ 6:19PM

I only ever take public transportation. Can't drive, don't want to. Really bad sense of spatial awareness, so I'd be a danger behind a wheel.

I wear the baby all the time. ALL THE DAMN TIME. It gets tiring! (On the plus side, I've definitely gotten stronger through doing so)

And still, every time I get on or off a bus or train, I run through the litany: Bag? Other bag? Baby? Toddler? Keys, metrocard? Let's check? OKAY! We can go now!

I'm paranoid that somehow, I'm going to lose this baby.

AJ 6-13-2006 @ 6:43PM

Fair question John. Why is it Toyota's responsibility to install seat belts? Why must they conduct crash testing? Why should car manufacturers do anything for passenger safety? Because it's the law and it's in the public interest. Because it saves lives. The law has not caught up with human psychology yet. Casting blame in accidental cases only promotes future deaths. Blame won't save lives. What's our goal here?

Angie 6-13-2006 @ 6:45PM

I'm not convinced it's an issue of forgetfulness. It seems more an issue of convenience. At least at first. Leave the child in for a quick stop at the store, and then, while in the store, you forget? I don't know. It is tragic.

Eva 6-13-2006 @ 6:52PM

I couldn't agree more with this. Maybe in my pre-mother days I would have but not now. It's not a matter of poor parenting. When my son was nine weeks old, I got home from the grocery store, unpacked the trunk, went inside, unpacked the groceries and didn't realize he was still sleeping in his carseat in the garage until the nanny asked where he was. Approximately 30-45 minutes had passed. I freaked out. Luckily it was Early January and he was fine but had it been July here in Phoenix? He could have easily overheated. I felt and still feel awful about it but I know it's not because I'm a bad parent. At nine weeks postpartum I was exhausted, overwhelmed, spacey and distractable and forgetting he was in there was an understandable biproduct of my state of mind. I think we need to stop judging and blaming parents for mistakes because until you've been there yourself you have no idea how horrible it is. Jailtime is far too harsh. Nothing can compare to the punishment of living your life knowing that you were the cause of your child's death.

momma2mingbu 6-13-2006 @ 7:06PM

Uly -

Don't feel bad. With three kids I constantly find myself counting heads in public, even back when the youngest lived in the sling.

John Watson 6-13-2006 @ 7:36PM

What should the penalty be for someone who leaves a baby in a car with a working baby alarm? The thing is, we've already got suitable laws that say it's illegal to kill children and they're not being enforced. Claiming an accident seems to be a convenient get out of jail free card. And casting blame does *not* promote future deaths.

Obviously there is no single solution to this problem Products can be made to remind the forgetful but it must be combined with enforcement of the law (and existing manslaughter and child neglect laws are enough) or it won't make any difference.

Mamacita 6-13-2006 @ 10:38PM

It is not the responsibility of the car manufacturer to remind us that our child is still in the car. It is the responsibility of the parent.

The maker of the car can't be expected to police the passengers of the car after that car leaves the showroom or lot.

Sure, accidents do happen to good parents. But most of the innocent children who were left inside a car to die an excruciating death were left by a moron who was 'just going to be gone for a sec' or by an incompetent selfish asshole who just didn't want to bother dealing with the baby in whatever bar he/she was stopping at.

Are there any stats on parents who've left their baby to die, more than once? There is a special place in Hell for those people, and there are no excuses for them, either.

AJ 6-13-2006 @ 11:00PM

That's a valid position. Just understand babies will continue to die when inexpensive technological safety improvements could save them.

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