Unless the boy has been having recurring infections that are not going away, I'm with the father here. The boy is EIGHT YEARS OLD. It will be a very, very painful experience for him. My son isn't circumcised even though my husband is. We both just felt it was unnecessary to have the procedure. He's perfect just the way he is. =D

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I agree Keri, I definately would find all other options medically available for the irritation. I'm sure with the advances in today's medicine that SOMETHING will work. I always thought if I would have a son I wouldn't get that done to him, there are plenty of studies that show that the procedure is not really necessary and that it causes the baby a lot of pain. I'd rather let nature alone and not put my child through that.

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I wouldn't want to put an 8 year old through that. The time for the decision has past.

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Hang on... has anyone asked the boy if he wants it done? He's old enough to make a decision like that for himself. If he wants it, great. If not, they should respect HIS decision and leave him alone.

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I don't agree that an * year old in our society is capable of making a desicion for himself, if he were, all 8 year old would be told to go on their own... However, he is certainly capable of talking about what he is experiencing and what he would like to happen and what options and risks are of all options. but decide, no... we have the term minor for a reason. It is just sad when parents can't be candid with each other and have to result in legal action. There has to be a better way to facilitate this process with out filling our legal system with something like this.

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It's possible that there aren't any better solutions. My 87 year old grandfather had to have a circumcision last year. Sometimes it's medically warrented. What I want to know is where do the doctors weigh in here? Aren't they the ones best qualified to determine the medical necessity or not of this case?
All in all, it's a very sad situation of two parents fully believing that different approaches are for the best. I think all parents (who share parenting with someone) have been there. Hopefully not to this degree...but we've all been there.

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My husband is circ'd but we chose not to circ our son. While I don't believe an 8 year old can make this decision on his own, I would certainly expect the court to ask his opinion of what is going on since it *is* his body. I'd also want to know what the doctors who have treated or examined the boy think. Do they think there are other options to help prevent more problems? Would a partial circ be an option that might help to satisfy both parents and solve the problem? (Maybe just kind of "loosening things up" instead of completely removing the foreskin?)

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Sure I would like to hear what two or three doctors have to say, but NO parent is ever OBLIGATED to follow medical advice. Here is a prime example:

I had an ingrown toenail that got infected, this just happened to be just before the biggest trade show for my industry, I was working overtime getting stuff ready, eating badly, ignoring it. All the bad things to do when you have an infection. I went to the doc, they gave me an antibiotic.

So I worked 18 hours a day on my feet for five days. (This is exactly how not to get rid of an infection). I barely slept, I certainly didn't soak my toe or do anything useful, except try to take the pills on time. They didn't work. It got bad, really bad, swelled up so much it turn purple and the skin kept splitting and peeling off. So I went back to the doc, and he prescribed a stronger anti-biotic and a strong cream to put on it. I cleared up great, but he wanted me to go back when I was done the antibiotics so I did.

Do you know what he wanted me to do? He wanted me to have surgery to have my toenail removed and a piece of metal put in my toe to prevent it from growing back. I didn't.

My toe has been fine ever since, and this was 7 or 8 years ago.

The moral of the story: Just because a doctor tells you you must remove part of your body doesn't make him right. And I am a lot less fond of my big toe then most men are of their penises.

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I don't understand why mothers always get involved with this decision. You don't have a penis! You don't know what it's like to have one no matter who you've talked to and what you've read. I can't imagine what the backlash would be if a Father had to make a decision about his daughter's genitals using the same methods- people would be up and arms.

This should be the Father's decision. Period.

In this case, where the boy is 8. Personally, I wouldn't have my son go through the pain. But it wouldn’t have gotten this far if the mother wasn’t such an idiotic person.

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I'm very troubled that we don't know more about the boy's actual disorder and treatment plan. I had a friend who's son had bad problems with infections and she finally found a urologist who put him on a steroid cream along with antibiotics and that fixed it. If she's just letting him get infection after infection and then treating it on a case by case bout, the circ is uncalled for.

I suspect it's possible there is an issue with the step brothers. I have heard of this before. My friend's neighbor gave birth in Europe and her son is not circ'd. Her stepsons are older and are and they did tease him for it. It was not easy to work through (there were several step family issues at work.)

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1) In Israel, the majority of boys are circumcised.

2) In some of the stories covering this story, it is reported that the father doesn't want his son circumcised because his son, "is not a Jew," and the mother is remarried to a Jewish man.
http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2006-06-15-circumcision-feud_x.htm?csp=34

I do not know whether this boy should or should not be circumcised at the age of 8. I do not know what would be best for him, both physically or mentally. I do not know if the father actually made these statements.

However, it makes me uncomfortable to know that fear of "Jewishness" may have a roll in this story.

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Tony said - "I don't understand why mothers always get involved with this decision. You don't have a penis!"

Excuse me?! I may not have a penis, but it's MY CHILD and I DO have a right to have a say in what happens to MY child's body!

To turn Tony's pitiful "You don't have a penis!" example around -

Let's say that we live in a society where *female genital mutilation* is commonly practiced. Let's say the *mother* is OK with her daughter being circumcised because "it's what happened to me and my sisters...a rite of passage" etc. What if the *FATHER* in this case was against it? Would you say, "Too bad...you don't have a clitoris so you don't get any say" to that father?

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The boy doesn't want it done, he said he didn't and then the boys mother blamed the father of scaring him.

The mother has a say, it's her kid. However, in this case the father is most definiately right.

If a woman gets a UTI we don't cut off her clitoral hood, we treat the infection. The doctor himself has admitted he didn't use the right treatment, and hasn't tried every option.

American Academy of Pediatrics Policy Statement on circumcision says ...one can estimate that 7 to 14 of 1000 uncircumcised male infants will develop a UTI during the first year of life, compared with 1 to 2 of 1000 circumcised male infants. That means 0.1%-0.2% of cicumcised boys will get a UTI and 0.7%-1.4% of intact boys will get a UTI. Very low rates either way. Also shows that having a circumcision done doesn't mean he won't get another infection.

Brenda- love the toe nail analogy!! Perfect.

Bottom line- leave the boy's penis alone!!!

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I am going to circumcise my son because I think it IS nessary after I heard about my fiance's bestfriend's dad that had to circumcised at age 54 because the skin became dried out and painful. Then the bestfriend's dad's bestfriend had to be circumcised after getting it caught in a zipper at the age of 55! I am sorry, I would rather do it to my son at a tiny age where he is less likely to remember the pain then run the risk on him having to do it when he is older.

If this little boy HAS to get circumcised he will ALWAYS remember the pain and what happened afterware with the healing.

I still think it is medically nessecary!

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Belinda,

Please, please just stop and think for a moment. While I agree that it is you decision to make your arguments make no sense.

1) If your daughter carried the breast cancer gene would you have her breast tissue removed as a baby, or would you wait until she was an adult to make the decision for herself?

2) If you knew you were going to have a klutzy child (like me) who was going to break her baby toes over 30 times between the ages of 6 and 12 (soooo not kidding... sooo bloody painful) Would you have the baby toes removed?

3) My husband "suffers" from complete phimosis. His foreskin does NOT nor has it ever retracted. The opening stretches to the size of a dime at most. At first I kept trying to talk him into having surgery to correct it, then I found out there is a steroid cream that makes the skin stretchier and can "fix" it. I have since accepted that it is his penis and he likes it the way it is.

4) If 75% of your relatives had their gall-bladders removed would you schedule that surgery for the optimum age, to prevent it from needing to be done when your child were old and frail?

5) Tonsillectomy was once exceedingly common, almost all children had it done. Older child and adult circumcision were once more common as well, why base a decision about your child based on what happened to relatives even 10 years ago.

The flaw in the logic is in assuming the foreskin is a mistake. I believe that human beings are not born flawed, this is a very deep belief for me. I am sure most Christians and other religions would agree with my view point (I am not a Christian, I do not follow a religion).

The foreskin protects the head of the penis, this is what it is designed to do. Just as the labia protect the vagina, the clitoral hood protects the clitoris and your eye lids protect your eyes.

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I urge you to research the topic more than the couple of stories you have heard, and educate yourself on what occurs during a circumcision before you make your decision.

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The United States is DEFINATELY not the only country that routinely circumcizes baby boys. EVERY Muslim country does, as does Israel. To disregard those people who choose to circ their sons due to religious reasons is specious. Hello...not everyone is Christian!

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Margalit, thank you for your thoughtful comment.

I should have clarified: The United States is the only country in the world to circumcise the majority of its infant boys (60%) outside of religious reasons. I will edit the post to reflect this.

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This is not any mothers choice to make. It should be the choice of the owner of the penis. It is his body. He is (or will be) perfect at birth. The AAP and every other major medical association in the world have deemed routine infant circumcision (RIC) to be unnecessary. Countries like South Africa have banned it because they consider it mutiliation. The AAP considers it cosmetic surgery. We don't hack off parts of our body because they may cause us problems someday. There is a less than 1.5% chance that any boy will develop UTI's if they are left intact. The chance of women developing UTI's is much higher. And we could cut that if we also circumcised women. And circumcising women would make them "cleaner". Just ask anyone from a country that considers it normal to mutilate the genitals of females. Do you even know what happens during a circumcision? Seriously. 85% of babies are not given any anesthetic. Some are given pacifiers with sugar on them. Nice. Even if they are given a numbing agent that still has to be delivered by a painful shot to the nervous center of the penis. Anyway, then the forskin is ripped off the penis. Did you know that the forskin is attached to a babies penis? Did you know that it's like ripping a nail off it's bed on your finger. Did you know that an intact child should never ever be retracted for cleaning or anything? It's not necessary. And doing so can actually be the cause of all the infections and problems that come up. The AAP's official stance is to leave it alone, and that the child should be the first one to retract their penis. Anyhow, once the foreskin is detached from the penis it is then cut off. All this without pain medication. During or after. At least if a man has it done he can drug himself up.Did you know that the foreskin on an adult man approximiately the size of a 3x5 card? Did you know that the frenlum is on that piece, which is the most sensitive area of a mans penis. They cut that off people!!! Is it really any wonder that we need Viagra in this country? And why in the world do you think the baby isn't in pain and/or doesn't remember the pain? That is just nuts. They cry, they scream, they pass out and fall into a deep sleep. They don't eat, they are cranky for days, sometimes weeks. Sometimes they have to be done again because it gets messed up. Sometimes the penis buries it's self in the boys body from the trama. Sometimes the penis gets infected and has to be removed. And sometimes babies die from shock, trauma, or infection. These are the facts. Look it up. Do some research. Google it. Don't make an important surgical decision based on the antedote of some 55 year old man who didn't wear underware (how else does your penis get caught in your zipper really?)

The AAP considers it to be cosmetic surgery. Look it up on their website. And if you have or someday will have an intact boy please go and read their instructions on how to care for one. It's simple really. Use water, wipe it like you would a finger. No retracting, no mess, no grossness. Did you know that approximiately 80% of the men of the world are intact?? If infections and such things were reason to circumcise this would not be so. There are other answers.

Think people, think!!!!!

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My first boyfriend with whom I was sexually active was not circumsized. I ended up contracting genital warts (human papilloma virus) from him and years later I ended up with pre cancerous cells on my cervix from it. I had to undergo treatment. If it ever came down to it, I would never sleep with another man who is not circumsized. (I am now happily married to a circumsized man) I did have my son circumsized.

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