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When to put kids in sports
Filed under: Development/Milestones: Babies, That's Entertainment
Sports were a huge part of our lives as kids. I played baseball and soccer and took swimming and dance lessons and also ran track and field. My brother played hockey and lacrosse and baseball and soccer and so may of our fondest memories are tied to the long days of running and shouting and playing. To this day, when I'm frustrated and worried, a long run cures me. I think sports is a huge part of learning dedication, teamwork, and commitment.I'm excited about enrolling Nolan in sports one day, but I want to be careful about how I do it. I don't want him to feel pressured or pushed, and I know there's a very delicate balance between encouragement and overkill when it comes to parents and sports.
So I'm curious to know: did you enroll your kids in sports? Did you let them tell you when the time was right and which sports? And, if they wanted to, did you let them quit?











ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
6-26-2006 @ 8:28AM
Nicholas said...My son isn't old enough yet for sports, but I did teach fencing to kids for a while. Later, when I competed, I got to watch a lot of talented kids compete under pressure on variuos levels (local to national). Here's my recommendations.
1) Start with unorganized sports first... backyard hoops, ultimate frisbee at the park with friends and relatives, badiminton, volleyball, the cone game, jump roping, chase, hide and seek ... basically everything and anything. Play with different skill levels and ages. Your kid will get used to being better than some and not as good as others (can't match Uncle Joe no matter how hard they try).
2) Don't forget to teach how to perform tasks. Even something as simple as catching a frisbee has to be learned (same goes for swinging a bat, serving a volleyball, and so forth). Learning is always faster with a good teacher. Take time before hand to teach some basic principles of whatever game to your child.
3) Sports for kids should be about one thing: getting good exorcize while having too much fun to realize it. Never, ever let sports become serious or competitive for kids unless they are actively asking for them to become so. Even then, always let the kid take breaks from the sport and know that it can be just for fun.
4) Be involved. If it's unorganized sports than join in and play. Organized sports, try coaching, refereeing, or simply being there to spectate. You can't fix problems that you aren't there to watch.
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6-26-2006 @ 8:59AM
Keri said...My son isn't old enough for sports either but here is a tip: once your child has signed up for a sport, make sure that s/he commits to it until the end. I have a friend who signed up for every sport possible when she was young but within a few weeks, she would quit. Her parents let her do this every time. As a result, she never stayed in a sport long enough to develop specific skills or find a life-long hobby/exercise routine.
When my son is old enough to play sports, I'll encourage him to try different sports but he has to be committed until the end of the session, even if he does not find the sport to his liking. He will just have to wait until the session is over and sign up for something else the next time. I think this teaches kids perseverance and commitment.
Just my two cents. ;)
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6-26-2006 @ 9:09AM
Tina said...My son was never very coordinated and had difficulty throwing, catching, hitting a ball,etc. At age 7 we let him choose if he wanted to participate in sports for his age group- (soccer or t-ball) He chose soccer because his friends were involved, but clearly had no interest. He was always a more cerbral kid, (a visit to the museum or a nature walk was more to his liking)and he never really had any enthusiasm for the game. He lasted 2 yrs and then joined the scouts. We never forced him to do sports, we let his interests decide. I do not like the fact that our society tends to assume all boys will be "into" sports, and then attaches a stigma to one who isn't. My daughter is built differently, is very coordinated, very physically active, and although my husband and I would love for her to be involved in something she enjoys, it certainly won't have to be organized sports. Hiking, biking, skiing, kayaking...there are so many things you can do as a family that will give them lifelong recreation.
When my son would mope about being chosen last on a team in Phys Ed, or what other kids his age were better at (hitting a baseball, scoring a goal) I'd simply point out that he was an A student with an incredible mind and a great funny personality and that once school ended, except for the rare, gifted athlete who gets a scolarship, you will be judged on your academic and personal qualifications.
I think the "team player" mentality is often overblown. Not to say that it isn't a valuable skill, but I don't believe it is the ultimate character builder that our culture seems to assume it is.
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6-26-2006 @ 9:20AM
Ginny said...I have just signed my 5 year old son up for flag football. It's with a Pop Warner league. ( www.popwarner.com ). This league does not keep individual stats (only team stats) and each player must submit his or her report card to the league. If he/she doesn't keep up his/her grades, they cannot play. (of course my son has no report card yet as he will start kindergarten in the fall...but the older kids do) I think this will be a great thing for my son and if he wants to continue in the league his whole childhood, that would be wonderful. If not, we'll see if he prefers something else. I think flag football will be a good introduction to football for him. My daughter is 4 and is too young for this league (even for cheerleading). She says she isn't ready to do a sport right now anyway, so I am not going to push the issue.
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6-26-2006 @ 9:29AM
Serena said...My 4 year old son plays soccer (summer), takes swimming lessons (winter), is enrolled in Ju Jitsu and has been taking a gymnastics class for 2 years.
My two year old daughter swims takes gymnastics and cheers her brother on at his other activities. I don't think kids are ever too young to get active. At this age they don't have to be good at it. They just have to enjoy it.
I enrolled the kids in each activity. They have to attend one full session. If they don't like it after that they don't need to be enrolled in a next session. The point is that they give it a fair try. SO far we haven't found anything that they haven't enjoyed. Kids like to be active. It's part of their nature.
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6-26-2006 @ 9:45AM
Jamie said...My 4-year-old daughter has just expressed an interest in playing soccer (perhaps fueled a bit by watching Dora...but that's another post subject). The fall youth leagues start in September here and my husband knows the head of the league so he's going to talk to him. But if she's really interested, we're going to give it a try. I never played sports as a kid; I was just terribly uncoordinated and more of a bookworm/nerdy cheerleader kind of girl. I don't want to ever pressure our girls into playing a sport, but since she's expressed interest we're going to give it a try. The league is for "fun" and I think it will help for her to work on her team building skills. My husband played soccer for several years so he's excited about helping her learn the sport.
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6-26-2006 @ 9:48AM
suburban misfit said...We enrolled our son in Tae Kwon Do at age five (he's nine now) after his occupational therapist recommended it for his balance and sensory issues. It's been a godsend for him. He doesn't particularly care for team sports (our family isn't big on watching team sports, either) so this is a perfect activity for him. He's done t-ball, basketball, and soccer (all his suggestions when he was a bit younger) and didn't care for any of them. He's also expressed interest in riding lessons, so we're investigating that.
My daughter (six) finished up her first mini-soccer season just before school ended and she said she loved it. Watching her on the field, though, was a different story! She seemed engaged but she didn't seem to really *love* being there. She wants to take gymnastics and dance and riding lessons, so we're going to see how much each thing costs and base our decision on that. She's been doing Tae Kwon Do since she was three-and-a-half because she was desperate to do what her brother was doing. She's already won medals at competitions!
We let the kids choose (except for TKD, but they both love it) what sport they'd like to try, but they have to complete a session. No quitting allowed, no matter how much they don't like it.
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6-26-2006 @ 9:52AM
Lotta said...Our son was in YMCA medley sports class at age 3 (just 3). He had a blast, but couldn't follow directions. The coach wasn't worried, he said at this age the point is just to associate sports with a good time and the rest will come as they get older. I think that is a great approach that lesses the need for a perfect age.
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6-26-2006 @ 10:02AM
daisy said...I used to teach whitewater kayaking to kids and adults, and I have observed first-hand that sometimes parents are the worst teachers their kids can have. Honestly, sometimes I think parents could swap kids and do a better job teaching their friends' kids, especially when we're teaching a sport we love. We have so much love invested in our kids and so much energy invested into our favorite sports that it can be hard to teach kids our favorite sports.
We tend to assume (without even realizing it) that the things we couldn't learn, our kids will struggle with. Plus, kids learn so fast that they typically get better than us much faster. And if we're not experts at a sport, we may be teaching our kids bad habits.
Sometimes it's good for kids to play organized sports or take lessons as it means they are learning from another adult.
For what it's worth, I also think the worst person for a (straight) woman to learn to kayak from is her partner (I don't know if this holds true for gay women, which is why I emphasized straight women!). I saw many a woman get frustrated by the entire sport because her boyfriend/husband was too emotionally invested to be able to teach her well.
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6-26-2006 @ 10:15AM
Caitlin said...My family was about as antisport as you could get. I always hated PE, because I grew up in the south, where pretty much everyone grows up playing little league. The PE coaches made me feel so stupid for not knowing the rules, and would say things like "Well, just hit/catch the ball/get it in the basket!".
Our Little Gym offers a sports intro class that I will probably have Paul take when he's 4 so he never has to go through what I did in PE class. You learn the basics of baseball, football, soccer, and basketball, and get a little taste of each sport. If he wants to continue on a team in one of those sports, then we'll go from there.
I think people often overlook solo sports for their kids. My husband and I are not team sports people, but we do enjoy solo sports. My husband is an avid biker, and I love rollerblading, hiking and whitewater kayaking. I just want Paul to find a form of exercise that he enjoys and wants to do on his own.
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6-26-2006 @ 10:20AM
Angie said...I think with swimming, 3 is a good age to start learning how. Before 3, it's just playing in the water with a parent, but after 3, they can understand how to do things themselves. I started my oldest daughter in swimming at 5, and considerable fear had already set in. It took her many years to learn skills, whereas, I've put all the younger children in at 3, and they didn't have to deal with any fear at all. My two oldest are in competitive swimming, and it is hard enough that I don't think they love it. They also played on basketball teams for a few seasons, and they thought that was pretty fun. My 11 year old son played little league baseball for three years before finally quitting; his heart wasn't in it. They all enjoy biking and tennis, basketball, jump rope for fun.
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6-26-2006 @ 11:00AM
momma2mingbu said...I suggested soccer to my son when he turned 5 and he thought it sounded fun. He has loved it and plays spring, fall and an indoor winter league every year now. This is a child who isn't very physically active the rest of the time, but he does love playing soccer. In the spring and fall he plays at the YMCA and they mostly focus on skills and sportsmanship. They do play games but don't keep official score. The winter league he plays in is competitive with scorekeeping, statistic keeping and a playoff round at the end of the season. I think it's a nice balance that he gets to play in two very different leagues.
My 3 year old played "micro soccer" for the first time this summer. I would probably never have consided signing her up for soccer until she was 4 or 5 but she asked and she loved it. At age 3, they involved the parents a lot and it's more about basic skills than anything else.
Kaylee tried gymnastics at about age 3. She wanted to do it but it was obvious that she wasn't really ready to listen and follow directions. We finished that session and didn't sign up again.
Both my girls have taken ballet. Ruby loves it a lot. She is taking a break from it for the summer, but will start up again in the fall. She is very good at it and very focused when she is practicing. Kaylee took 4 sessions and said she wanted to quit. We asked that she finish the last session of classes and then honored her wish to stop dancing.
Keithen took swimming for the first time last summer. This year all three of them will be in swim classes for 2 weeks in July. (ages 3, 5, and 7 years)
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6-27-2006 @ 1:19AM
Diana Keller said...When I was grownig up, my mom didn't let us do team sports outside of school so I wanted to let my kids do what they want. My folks think I'm overcompensating now. My oldest wants to do everything, she's done softball, wrestling, basketball, ballet, tap, jazz, soccer, horsebackriding, flag football, and this year she's on the junior high football team. My son does t-ball, soccer, gymnastics, and dance. We have had to trim back some of what my daughter participates in because with 4 kids and one mom it gets overwhelming, and sometimes I just want a day off! Whatever they start, we do expect them to finish out the season in, many times the rest of the team is depending on them.
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