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Tears for mom
Filed under: Just For Moms, Relatives, Childcare
Yesterday I left Nolan at his grandparents for an hour to give myself a brief and (I think) well-deserved break. This is only the second time I've left him there, but he has visited with them lots and is very comfortable in their baby-friendly home. With a chipper grin, he waved bye-bye to me and disappeared into the backyard for a date with the baby pool.It's always so strange driving around without Nolan. He is such a tangible part of everything I do now, that it feels like I've forgotten something when he isn't with me. It's strange to see the car seat without a tuft of blonde hair at the top. It's weird to go through intersections without pointing out the dog and the river. It's an incomplete feeling, but I must admit that it feels so liberating to be only responsible for myself for an hour or two.
Anyway, sipped a delicious iced coffee, and window-shopped downtown with my friend. When we went to retrieve Nolan two hours later, he was splashing happily in the sink with his grandparents. My heart melted at his chubby folds and his toothy smile.
"Hi Nolan!" I exclaimed, leaning in to give him a kiss,"I missed you!"
He looked at me for a moment with surprise, then screwed up his face and started heaving with sobs.
"He hasn't cried the whole time!" his grandmother said with surprise.
"I know," he sighed,"He does this every time I come get him from someone else."
I picked him up and soothed him and he calmed down quickly, but I wonder, is this common? Does your baby cry when they see you again after a brief absence? Why do you think this happens?
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
7-18-2006 @ 10:14AM
suburban misfit said...Yes, it's totally common. I think it has something to do with him not realizing you were gone until you came back (my child psychology is fuzzy; haven't used it in a while!).
Keep doing this, though, this leaving and coming back. If you don't, he'll go through severe separation anxiety. If you regularly leave him with someone else trustworthy, he'll understand that you always come back and he won't cry any more.
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7-18-2006 @ 10:31AM
Lea said...It's okay. Baby A hasn't done that too many times, but when I volunteer in her morning-out program, I see lots of little kids doing that.
It appears that they realize what they've been missing--that mommy really was gone.
But I wonder if it's also a stress release? Maybe Nolan was having so much fun and being so stimulated that when it ended, he just needed to let off steam--and there's no place safer than your arms to do that.
The pick-ups just get better and better. Just wait 'til he runs to you, open-armed, yelling, "Mooommmmmeeeee!" Meantime, enjoy the precious time to yourself. You deserve it.
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7-18-2006 @ 11:07AM
Heather said...Wow....exact same thing happened to me yesterday. I gave the playcenter at our gym a try for the first time. Baby (who detests new faces) cruised happily around the room in the arms of a stranger, then burst into tears when I came back for her 15 minutes later. Why only 15 minutes, you ask? Because, other than her father, I've never left her in anyone else's care in her entire 11 1/2 months of life and it's all I could bear. How silly is that?
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7-18-2006 @ 12:24PM
Shannon (Sentimental) said...Ya know my girls both did that and do that. I have stayed home with my kids but when they go to Grandma's on the two days I go to school they both at their younger ages struggled when I would come back, going into what we called, "Momma Meltdown". At first it was alarming cause it was like they were trying to tell me something. Than I just realized it was some sort of weird way of saying "I missed you" and "ahhh you are back". The good news is both of my girls grew out of it.
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7-18-2006 @ 12:25PM
Shannon (Sentimental) said...Oh and congrats on some Mommy "me" time. It is well deserved and probably so needed. It gets easier I promise.
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7-18-2006 @ 12:45PM
Jennie said...My daughter did this with me for a couple of months. Never cried with who she was with (Nana or daycare) but cried (wailed) as soon as she saw me, then calmed as soon as I picked her up. I think, since she can't talk, it's her way of expressing, "Mommy! I am so glad to see you!"
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7-18-2006 @ 1:07PM
Angie said...I used to think my daughter was punishing me for leaving her, because she'd do this every time. She'd usually cry when I dropped her off, too. It was terrible! But, completely normal. I'm glad you got him to settle down quickly. My experience has been that girls really cry much longer than boys.
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7-18-2006 @ 1:36PM
Kobie said...I think it's common. I've seen it many times before. I don't have any real explanation. I suspect that some children really don't realize you were gone or forget about it until you come back and the realization hits them. It's kinda funny actually.
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7-18-2006 @ 1:37PM
Ginny said...Yes, it's common. They don't know how to handle their emotions. It's a happy cry, don't worry. :) Glad u got some "you" time.
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