Do you have "Mom" hair?
Categories: Just for moms
I have to admit that right now, I am a little obsessed with my hair. I used to have really long hair. When I left my husband five years ago, I started chopping at it. I realize now that cutting hair is something a lot of people do when they are changing relationships. I was being something of a cliche. Anyway. I engaged in a four year cycle of cutting my hair short and growing it out again, which is familiar to at least one or two of you, I am sure. I had decided about three years to grow it out, and so I made the error of getting a perm. This damaged my hair and made me look about ten years older than I was. I went to visit a friend of mine who cuts hair for a living, and she took one look at my bad perm and cut it all out. A full year of growth was gone. I was so upset to lose the year of growth that I didn't take any time to enjoy the short hair. Everybody loved it except me. (See picture-- that is me with short hair).
This Spring, I finally had my wish: My hair was down to my collar bone. And I noticed that it was curly! I have never had curly hair before! But lots of other women have told me that their hair started to curl after they had kids, too. But it doesn't even curl decently! It curls like the bad perm: Straight on the top and sides, and curly in the back. So, earlier this summer, I had a couple of inches cut off and got an inverted bob. About two weeks after that, I had it cut up to my chin, and made the bob more severe. But now, I am thinking that it needs to be cut really short. I just feel like there is too much hair. I think my husband (re-married for one year now!) is going to kill me after having to hear for all these years about how much I really wanted long hair.
If I cut my hair, does that mean I have "Mom"hair? Am I becoming another sort of cliche? The woman in her late thirties who cuts off her hair because she is too busy and too lazy to maintain long hair anymore?
How do you wear your hair? And do you obsess about it, too, or am I just nuts?
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
Kellie 7-26-2006 @ 8:50AM
I do not have mom hair. There were a few things my mom taught me growing up.
1.Always maintain your hair in a style that complements your face.
2. Don't always go with the fashions at the time. Wear what looks good on you above all. Not everyone can wear every fashion that comes around.
3. Beauty must suffer. This is one that I only embrace if I am going out somewhere where I need to be a little more dressed up than normal. I live in one size bigger white linen pants and t-shirts almost everyday. That's not really suffering. :-)
So, no, I do not have mom hair. I do try to keep it edgy and stylish. I feel a little better about my daily mom appearance when I like my hair. :-)
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Ethel 7-26-2006 @ 8:52AM
I cut my hair as being a mom meant putting it up (naps whenever possible mess with it) and that contributes to headaches. I told my hair dresser that I really wanted to avoid "Mom hair", well we sort of did that. There is no short hair that I can see that isn't "mom hair" or is the haircut of much older women (past menopause) who have undergone chemo - which I like as they seem like tough and chic broads. I'd have long hair if it didn't give me headaches, I'd like my short hair more if it weren't so blah...
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Marcia 7-26-2006 @ 8:55AM
My hair is down to my butt right now. I have been wanting to get it trimmed up to the middle of my back for a couple months now though. Before I would only consider getting the ends trimmed, but after the repeated episodes of What Not to Wear, Nick says the longest anyone's hair needs to be is in the middle of their backs and from their clients I would have to agree so I will give in soon lol... I don't know if the sudden craving for change was brought on by the pregnancy or not, but I know I won't want to deal with all this hair once the baby comes out in a couple months.
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Liz 7-26-2006 @ 9:12AM
I know the style is tending towards long hair lately but, lots of women who don't look frumpy have cute short haircuts. I can empathise with your worries though. I had hair to my lower back until right before I had my first child at 29 last year. I cut my hair up to my chin in a bob and still worry about mom-hair. I also felt very chliche getting my hair chopped while pregnant but, have loved it. In fact, it just keeps getting shorter. The long hair just wasn't working for me. Although this nagging mom-hair worry never fades completely, I think we're doing great as long as we avoid the poodle perms and fake afros of our mom and grandmothers era. I'm with Kellie, go with what suits you.
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Brenda 7-26-2006 @ 9:12AM
I want to cut my hair off, but by off I mean shoulder length with layers so it isn't so heavy. But that needs time/money which are in short supply.
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momma2mingbu 7-26-2006 @ 9:22AM
I got "the mom cut" right before my second two kids were born. (I learned better after having my first.....figured out there wasn't enough time to keep it longer and have it look good!) With my third, my MW saw it right after I did it and said..."oh.....you got the stress cut, huh?" I think it was part of nesting, LOL!
I've kept it short since because I've discovered that I like it, it's easier and it actually looks healthier when it's short.
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Shannon (Sentimental) 7-26-2006 @ 9:32AM
I am not sure if I sport the mom do but I do sport a do that is easy to maintain with two anxious kids in tow usually shouting at me, "I want my hair curled" only to not hole still long enough to do it and it always ends bad with either a burn or me sweating my a$$ off.
I recently got a funkier trim and a high light to make me feel younger but the good news is all it requires on a busy day is a blow dry and some hair spray. Right up my alley!
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suburbanmisfit 7-26-2006 @ 9:32AM
No "mom hair" here! My sylist is a funky young woman who knows my only mantra when I come in is: don't give me mom hair! I'll spend extra minutes on it in the morning to make sure it's not typical and cliched. The biggest compromise I've made since moving to the 'burbs and having kids is that I don't color my hair in funky colors. The punk rocker in me is desperate for pink or blue stripes, but the mom in me knows the 'burbs can't take it!
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Cathy 7-26-2006 @ 9:35AM
My hair is longer now than it has ever been. When I worked, I kept it neck-length. That required using a hair dryer and a straightener. Now I dry the bangs and ignore the rest.
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Susan 7-26-2006 @ 9:48AM
Where I live, "Mom hair" is hair that is long enough to pull into a ponytail and thread through the back of a ball cap. I had that hair for a while, after my second child was born, until I realized that all I ever did with it was pull it into a ponytail and thread it through the back of my ball cap. And complain about how much work it was.
My hair is alternately Anne Heche short (from the Ellen DeGeneres days) or Mariska Hargitay short (from the early Law and Order SVU days).
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IEC 7-26-2006 @ 9:51AM
I'm not sure if I have mom hair now or not. All I know is that when it's 105 outside, I FEEL GREAT! I have to admit, it's a little nice not having your long hair pulled by a toddler, too.
I read somewhere in an about.com article where the author said that women past their mid-twenties should avoid long hair. If the hair has some length, they should cut it into a V-shape. I did that before I went short, and I really liked it...until the summer arrived.
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Waya 7-26-2006 @ 10:15AM
I had the "Mom hair" since my 2nd son came along. My hubbie chuckles every time he looks at my pictures. I change my hair styles like I change my undies. But now, I'm leaving it long so that I can donate my long hair to "Locks of Love", which I will document in my blog soon. I got the inspiration from reading about Ann Curry, co-anchor on NBC Dateline, on how she grew out her hair and donated to "Lock of Love".
I'd love to recommend this to Marcia who commented about her long hair being all the way down to her butt (above), if you decide to cut your hair...pls consider "Lock of Love". Thanks!
http://www.locksoflove.org/donate_hair.php
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LB 7-26-2006 @ 10:26AM
I'm totally a "ponytail mom." I keep it long because I do not have the schedule to get in to maintain a shorter hair cut (I do like short hair.) I find a lot of hairdressers want to give me a yucky Katie Couric type of non-offensive cut, which I find very momish. I HATE mid lenght hair on me,as it adds a lot of bulk to my jaw.
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Angie 7-26-2006 @ 10:29AM
Oh my goodness. When did I NOT obsess over my hair?
Hair obsession is obviously not a black issue, but I have uniquely black hair obsessions. To perm (relax) or not relax? To grow it long, or cut it short? To shave off the back, grow a bob, (for me it would be to grow my hair long enough to wear a bob! lol), etc.
Now it's natural and I change it like every other day, and I have these gray hairs taht are driving me to distraction. Being pregnant and broke, I don't really want to put chemicals in it right now. We'll see after the baby.
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Lisa (the girls' moma) 7-26-2006 @ 10:38AM
Ever thought about adding color to your hair? I think any cut looks sharper and less mom-like when you start adding highlights/lowlights. Or, you can do what I did and add giant red streaks. Whatever works.
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heather 7-26-2006 @ 10:48AM
I'm a hairdresser, and I follow one general rule: when you turn 30 your hair should be no longer than your shoulders. There are a rare few who can get away with long hair past that age. I follow what looks good on me and that's not long hair at my age, it just makes me look even older.
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Dawn 7-26-2006 @ 10:58AM
Being almost 21, hair has always been a huge factor.. besides makeup. I am just shy of being 30 weeks pregnant, and I went to the salon for a pick me up. I don't feel I will have the dreaded "mom hair" because I don't feel it should be dreaded. When you have kids, you have to cut back on *me-time* and all your waking energy goes to the kids. As long as you are comfortable, and not having orange hair from over dying it.. then what's there to worry about? I figure if you don't like the way I look, then don't look at me. After 3 years, I finally got my hair back to the length I wanted it. See, not just Moms have this problem. My hair is thick, corse, and wavy. I just had it trimmed and a little color added to make me look less pale. Mom hair I feel is when you havent washed it in days so its greasy, nappy and looks like your 3 year old daughter's hair after she wakes up in the morning.. so ladies, never fear. A pony tail will cover up any mom hair you dread, and a little bit of angle towards the face will change any drab hair do to a hott-do.
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jpark 7-26-2006 @ 11:51AM
I have had long hair for about 15 years (since I started high school). But I had to get my hair cut pretty short recently because being pregnant ruined my hair. It's been falling out ever since I gave birth 6 months ago! And what didn't fall out was all broken from my son pulling on it and whatever. So I decided to have an actual hairstyle for the first time in my adult life. I had always worn my hair long and straight, all the same length. I got a short cut, and the first thing my husband said was "I'm so glad you don't look like a soccer mom!" So I guess it's not too mom-ish. It's all layered and kind of flippy. I'm obsessed with it right now because I'm still getting used to seeing short hair in the mirror. Even though my hair was pretty damaged, it was so long that I was able to donate it to Locks of Love. Everyone who cuts off a good bit of their hair should do it!
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LB 7-26-2006 @ 12:36PM
Hi Heather IMO too many hairdressers feel that way. I feel shoulder length cuts often add a lot of bulk to a face and jaw already facing the challenges of gravity. On many women a shoulder length just looks like a helmet and I think ultimatly ages women. True, not every one has the right hair to go longer, and many women are hanging on to too much hair, but often just a little bit longer, say to the collarbone, and cut in the right layers is much softer and flattering and youthful.
my two cents-
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Valerie 7-26-2006 @ 1:10PM
I have hair that is very similar to yours (in the picture)...but I have had short hair almost all of my life. I have been told that it looks better on me than longer hair. I am going today to get a cut, so I shall see what mood I am in, maybe I will do something different, I seem to walk out of their with a different cut every time. I think my hairstylist just likes to use me as a guinea pig. LOL
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