Do your kids "bore" you?

Maybe Helen is bored with her kids because she is boring. It sounds to me that she only cares about herself and no one else. It's all about me. I am a single mother who works full-time and my son is disabled. He has taught me a lot of the things and has helped me grow as an individual. She should be thankful for what she has and that her kids are healthy and are mobile. There are people in this world who do not have the luxury to have a nanny to raise their children. Does Helen ever feel proud of her children's accomplishments? Obviously, it is not due to her parenting it is the parenting of the nanny. I wish I could be bored. There is so much to due I do not have time to be bored. My son has made my life very interesting and I am grateful for him everyday.

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Who cares if Helen is bored, it's her life. She is entitled to her opinion. I love my own children and that's all that matters to me. It's not always easy, often quite difficult, but I am here for them throughout the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Life with children is like the world's largest amusement park. The roller coasters (highs and lows), the fun house (laughing, playing, just being silly), the merry-go-round ( same ol' thing over and over), and sometimes the rides break down (tantrums, sickness, dentist, pediatrician), but we keep on at it because we love them, we want to set good examples, we CHOSE parenthood. They didn't choose us!
The relationships that we form with our children are ever evovling, we need to see the positive and make the most of it.
I am not a supermom, I can get bored, angry, and tired. But I know what my children enjoy, they know what I enjoy, we take turns doing the things that we like.
One article stated that Helen felt guilty for not taking pleasure in her children like the other mothers. Why do some woman feel the need to be like all the other mothers? Everybody is different, that's what makes a person interesting.
I just hope for Helen's boys, she can find it in her to enjoy each and every day with them, life is too short.

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Well, you could have been a war correspondent like me! Dreadful boredome punctuated by blinding periods of sheer terror.

On the flip side...it's probably a good discussion to be having as many people get into things when they really didn't know what it entailed (see above!).

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My daughter is a divorced mother of 5 children. She has had to become a work-a-holic to support her family. She would give anything for a day to be bored. Her world is her family. She does not complain. If asked - each of her children would tell you that they are her favorite. Maybe you should grt over yourself and try to establish a relationship with you children. No parent is thrilled with changing babies or walking the floor with a sick baby or losing sleep when they are young. I guess you were never told that it comes with the territory. I wonder if you are as cold and unattached in your marriage.

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I have to agree...motherhood can be boring. Enough with the birthday parties and parks. I am really glad that my youngest is a teenager, where I can actually have a good conversation on occasion. Let's all be honest for a brief moment...how much can one take about Barney and Dora. If we all are honest with ourselves, we can't stand it. So how many of those moms out there let there child continously yell, "mommy" "mommy" while yanking at your shirt because we ignore them. Why you ask? Because whatever they have to say doesn't interest you. As many moms that I have been around, not one answers on the first calling. So give us a break...motherhood is BORING!!!!

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Motherhood boring?! Ha!!! Walk a day in my shoes, missy. I have two children who are teenagers now, and still enjoy my time with them. I also drive a school bus. God help me if I had the same views you do towards children. It's probably your child I am helping with homework while we are waiting for everyone to board the bus. Furthermore, if you have a nanny, then you probably have a maid and/or cook. Join the real world. And you say that in the last ten years child centered parenting is raising what? You yourself must have been a product of self centered parenting. You find children's birthday party boring? Well, boo hoo. Speaking of boring, imagine what the other parents must think of you! How many school projects have you helped your sons with? Oh wait, that must be the nanny's job. How many multiplication tables have you gone over and over? Boring? You bet. The joy when your child learns his multiplication tables and passes his math test? PRICELESS!!! You need to find gratification on the little humans YOU created. They did not ask to be born. Oh and by the way, I know several couples who are childless because of infertility who would more than give their last dime to be "bored" by a child's birthday party. Hope you are proud of yourself. Now your kids can go to school and listen to the ridiculing from the other students on how their mom is "good enough." Maybe if you were connected to the children in ways other than the minimum the law requires, you would know other children's teasing can be cruel. Get rid of the nanny and try juggling a full time job, house, and kids and pay the after school care. Special needs children? God bless all the moms and dads who have the special children in their life. You are in my prayers daily. The love I see in your eyes for your special child is remarkable and to be admired.

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I don't understand why everyone is so upset with this lady... she's just telling the truth. I have three kids..ages 4 through 9 and I have been a stay at home mom for the last 9 years... and yes 90 percent of the time I am bored out of my mine by the same, constant, and never ending routine. She is also right that there is nothing worse than women that spend all of their time talking about their children... as if their only purpose in life is to promote the virtues of motherhood... children are wonderful but they are meant to be a part of your life... not to become your entire life.

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I feel very sorry for this woman. I adore being a parent. Is it all fun and games??? Not a chance, but I signed on for the good and the bad. Everything in life can be boring at times - it's finding a balance that makes it work. I can't stand doing laundry, but I thank God that I have a husband and two beautiful girls who need clean clothes, it's all about perspective. My husband and I do things separately with the girls at times as well as doing things as a family. His time with the girls is taking them to the movies and putt-putt, neither of which is of great interest to me. I take them to most birthday parties because I enjoy the interaction with other mothers and not all of them are so wrapped up in their kids that they can't hold a decent conversation. I'm teaching my girls to cook, one of my favorite activities, and they love these lessons. Just sitting and having a conversation with them is the highlight of my day, seeing how their minds work, seeing life through their eyes, watching them grow and learn - how can anyone look at spending time with their kids as boring???? My kids are more entertaining than most of the adults I have to deal with in life. My life before kids wasn't perfect and my life after kids isn't perfect, but the positives outweigh the negatives a thousand times!

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"Face it gals, she was blunt but we all know where she's coming from."

fg - Speak for yourself. No, I don't know from where she comes. I don't think, for one second, that my children are boring. Yeah, maybe some of their interests are boring, but not them. Not at ALL! Haven't you been amazed by the things your child has said? Haven't your eyes been opened by their innocence? Do your eyes light up when they enter the room? Do theirs light up when YOU enter the room? Mine do and so do theirs.

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"... children are wonderful but they are meant to be a part of your life... not to become your entire life."

Monica - you and those who echo your sentiments are missing the point.

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People, let's be real here. We have nothing better to do than tear this woman down because of her opinion ? She simply stated that she would like a life of her own. When said children are grown and dodging her phone calls, or too busy with their own lives, will she still be clinging to her only source of stimulation like most moms will. Hell no!!! She'll be doing her own thing. Just because she doesn't like doing the "mommy" thing doesn't make her the terrible, coldhearted person that you're making her out to be. Just like the aunt who insists on talking about her arthritis, or the nosey neighbor who always gossips about the neighborhood, these too are things that we dred when we encounter them. But she still does her "duty" as a mom. She provides for her children, and she DOES love them. But really, who wants to spend every waking and non-working moment with their child when we are still vital people who also need stimulation and ADULT conversation ? Should she turn to alcohol are some other self destructive behavior to make the things in life bearable ? She clearly has found an outlet for her frustration. She loves them, she just wanted to talk to adults......

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Wow. She goes out there buck naked screaming, "LOOK AT ME!" And she's upset with the mix of attention? More immaturity. More "concentered all in self."

Sure, some childrearing tasks are less than thrilling. But, even after 4000+ "nappies" (oh, how sophisticated.....no, wait, pretentious is the word), even after thousands of miles to school, camp, playdates, after reading innumerable books that aren't my favorite authors, even after G-d He knoweth how many episodes of Kim Possible (not House, not Stargate, not the news)I am not bored with my daughter. And if I were, I care too much about her feelings to insult her in public.

Yeah, she's probably good enough. Hell, Prince Charles grew up with less involved parents. Guess it's just a British thing. Or just another Rowling wannabe. Kind of a wierd way to celebrate her birthday, though. (Yeah, my nine year old is salivating for the seventh book. OOOOOOO, I can't wait. Because I do "the funny voices".)

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I am sure every honest mom out their could make the statement that their children bore them from time to time..Let's face it, daily sports practices, and multiple birthday parties can become boring when they are so repetitive..But I think the children are never boring, just the activities that we have to participate in sometime tends to be boring.

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I read the entire story and listened with an "open mind" to what she had to say before passing judgement and vilifying here unjustly. The main points which I distilled from her article were these:

I agree with many of her views, especially this one:

She says the Daily Mail tabloid spun her story to make it edgier, but she says she stands by the point of her article: to denounce the child-centric model of parenting.

She was prompted to write it after feeling tremendous guilt for not taking pleasure in watching her children play, driving her children to school and other activities that other mothers seemed to enjoy."Up until 10 years ago, parents did not spend every waking moment with their children. We became a society where everything children say and do and think is meant to be fulfilling. Women are not allowed to have a life of their own, and if they do, it's considered selfish," she says.

Even worse than child-rearing is listening to conversations about child-rearing, she says. "The mothers in my school are so boring. They talk about packing lunches when we should be talking about the wars raging."Kirwan-Taylor says new research shows that child-centered parenting is creating "a generation of narcissistic children who cannot function independently. "I'm not a bad mother," she says. "I call myself a 'good enough' mother. I feed them. I'm nice to them. I cuddle them. I love them."

I think people way over-reacted to this article to the point where they need to pass judgement and villify the poor woman. Guess some people don't bother to read before lauching attacks and person tirades. I wouldn't think these types were such a herd of mindless fools if they were not so obsessive and listened to another point of view. She makes valid points. It is unfortunate that the mindless herd and subsets thereof contribute heavily to more generations of narcissism and greater numbers of miscreants, fools and idiots who cannot think for themselves.

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Karen is quite right as I see things from an experential perspective, having had 4 children and now with an entourage of 3 more aged 4,3, and 1, taken from a mother who is having substance abuse problems, by social services and given to us.

Some of the comments are indeed subjectively inclined, judgmental and lacking in thought. It is not a carpet ride to raise children but a chore, although there are times of reward in the process. To admit this is to not be correlated with lack of committment or feeling, but is to tell the truth. The author was being honest and candid, and deserves to be considered in her objective views. A life consists of more than children and to say otherwise is to ignore reality. To condemn the author is to strain at gnats and kick against the pricks. Ignore the truth and live in never never land if you will, but save your hysterical judgmentalism for the looney bin. She is right, at least in the eyes of this father, and his wife.

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I think this is being spun out of control. Not everyone is enthralled by every little thing their children do. I happen to have a major life outside of being a mother, it just so happens that I work my schedule around my kids and their schedules.

I don't lay on the floor and play legos or cars with my children. I find that boring. My husband does that with them. I read to them, I do art work with them, I take them to all of their activities. I'm very involved.

I also don't like taking them to the park where my job consists of following them around the big toy from down below to make sure they don't fall off and break a bone.

I don't spend every waking moment trying to make them happy. I spend a lot of time trying to make me happy. The world does not revolve my children and I refuse to lead them to believe so.

This woman is not a bad mother. She is just a woman who has other interests. I bet that when her kids are adults they will be good friends and have plenty in common.

There is no law anywhere that says you have to enjoy entertaining children just because you have produced them. She cares for them. She doesn't treat them poorly. She hugs them and she loves them.

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personally, i am not bored by my children. however, it has been academically argued that motherhood and mothering is a socially constructed entity. it is possible that this woman was sold a dream of how she was expected to feel and act as a mother and her dream did not live up to the reality. i think a lot of parents feel like this about their children and it IS necessary to alleviate the mother-guilt of those mums/parents who are bored by their children i.e. by publishing articles such as this that reveal the collective reality of many peoples lives, however, i am reluctant to see how beneficial this article is to her children or her own sense of self......

jen

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What this article boils down to, brutal or not, is just plain honesty. If you take a job as a waitress and decide you hate working with the public, you give two weeks notice and find another job. What are you supposed to do when your job title is "Mom"? Get a divorce and let your ex handle it? Ship the kids off to live with a relative? Place them for adoption? Really, I'd like to know. Because I totally relate to this author, and I know I'm in a very unpopular minority. I thought I would enjoy motherhood, but five years and two kids later, I can unequivocally admit that having children was not the right choice for me.

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I think this lady has been misunderstood- maybe she just didnt state her feelings in the 'correct' way. Being a stay at home mama myself I can identify with feelings of loneliness, boredom, and (gulp..) even a little resentment of the 'freedom' lost. But I've come to understand that in this life, when GOD gives you something wonderful HE usually attaches some measure of responsibility. I may not be able to do or be what I was prior to marriage and motherhood but thats okay. There are up days and down days and I admit sometimes the whole routine of running after baby, changing diapers, baby laundry, etc can be a drag. That doesnt mean I love my baby less and I'm sure the writer loves her kids, she's just being honest. And please, I really dont wish to offend anyone, but those that dont have children CANNOT really understand these feelings. There are different people out there and different ways of handling motherhood so please lets not bash the lady.

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