Do you ever bribe your children with food?
Categories: Toddlers, Eating & Nutrition, Development
I was blogwalking last night, and I found a post by a blogger who shall remain nameless which reminded me of something from my children's infancy. Specifically my middle child's infancy. Hello, My name is Jen Creer, and I, too, have bribed my children with food.
When Christian was a baby, we lived in the country, about fifteen minutes out of town. And he discovered, at the ripe old age of 15-months-old, McDonald's french fries. And he also started rebelling against the car seat. Fifteen minutes with a screaming baby is a long ride. So, I started stopping at McDonald's on the way home and getting him french fries, which would last him for the entire ride home.
Also? When he was a 15-months-old, I gave birth to his younger brother, via my third C-section. I couldn't pick up Christian for six weeks-- maybe more-- so I started putting him down for his naps on a mattress on the floor. I would then leave a trail of M & M's for him from the mattress, across the floor, and to the door. This made sure that a) he would get himself out of bed and b) he would be in a good mood by the time he got out of his room.
Go ahead. Admit it. How have you bribed your kids with food?
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Kthomas 8-01-2006 @ 7:47AM
I always do this. In return for good behavior my little one earns "spiderman candy", which is really just Pez out of a spiderman dispenser... but still. My son will do just about anything for spiderman candy.
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Amanda. 8-01-2006 @ 8:34AM
Hi. My name is Amanda, I have a Master's Degree in Human Nutrition and Foods, and I bribe my children with food.
Although I talked to a pediatric psychologist about using bribery and he told me the correct term in psychology lingo is "contingent reinforcement". So basically we don't bribe with food, we contingentally reinforce with food. Feel better?
I usually use things like fruit and pretzel rods so I don't beat myself up too bad. I have two kids two and under so if a little bribery with food keeps me from sitting in a dark corner rocking back and forth chanting "all work and no play makes Amanda a dull girl", then so be it.
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Jill 8-01-2006 @ 8:40AM
When I can get good behavior (or pee in a potty) for one M&M then I not only announce to the world that yes, I bribe with food, but also that I'm damn good at it too!
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Anji 8-01-2006 @ 8:56AM
Not yet, my son isn't even a year old. But I can say with certainty that I probably will occasionally. If it works, it works!
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mamaloo 8-01-2006 @ 9:05AM
In our homw you'll often here such shameful things as:
"You won't get
your treat if yoou don't have some of those beans and mashed
potatoes."
"You'd better get all the cars put away in your room
first if you want you're lollypop.""C'mon, just put all the toys
in the basket and you can have juice instead of water."
Yup,
we bribe. I do want to point out that after starting him off with a
tonne of bad habits, though, we successfully broke his chocolate milk
habit and his juice habit so that he now drinks a glass of white milk
at least once per day and watr the rest of the time. Also, he had a
bad lollypop and chocolate habit we also broke. That's right, in
addition to bribing our poor child, we were stuffing him with sugar
instead of healthy snacks.
Oh the shame!
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Amy 8-01-2006 @ 9:15AM
I really don't think it's a good idea to allow children to eat in the car. What if they choke? You'll have to first notice, which might not happen right away if you think he/she is just "being good" - there is no noise when a child chokes. Then you'd have to find a safe spot to pull over, get out, get the child undone from his or her carseat, and then administer the Heimlich... That just doesn't seem safe to me, call me paranoid. I've had to do a LOT of mouth sweeping and back blows with my choking-prone 1 year old - she has even choked on her own spit (while laughing, she aspirated the drool that was caused by her teething). Now that she's really good at using a sippy cup, we allow her to have that in the car, but I wouldn't give her food unless an adult was sitting in the back seat with her and watching closely for signs of choking.
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Kate 8-01-2006 @ 9:46AM
Oh, yes. We bribe with food. We have Jelly Bellies to thank for 3 sucessful haircuts and potty training. And relatively stress-free travel is largely due to goldfish crackers.
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Joey's Mom 8-01-2006 @ 10:31AM
I guess I the odd one here. I NEVER bribe with food. I was shocked when I was leaving a friends house to go grocery shopping and she wanted to give me snacks to keep Joey 'busy' while we shopped. She said that was the only was she could get her son to behave. (Her son is 18 and overweight)
My son is slow to talk. So sometimes he cries and brings me his diaper bag and I know its because he wants a snack. I feel guilty because I am rewarding his crying by giving him a snack. But at the same time he doesnt have the words, and by bringing me his bag, or leading me to the pantry, I know he wants a snack. I would never just give him something keep him quiet. Or say if you are good, you can have a cookie. Nope, not me.
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Jennifer Susse 8-01-2006 @ 10:58AM
I'm a big believer in bribery (also threats). For example, on Sunday night they get an extra book if they help me clean the living room. Also my 5 year old might have one of his nightime books taken away if he doesn't get out of his clothes and into his PJs within 5 minutes (a reasonable goal). I don't bribe with food though. That is, I don't say "do x and you will get a food treat". On the other hand food can be a great distracter. I often feed the children lunch when we go grocery shopping. On a recent trip they ate cold cuts, cheese sticks, crackers and dried mango. I don't think of this as bribery. Kids need to eat every few hours so why not have them eat (and thus be distracted) while you do errands.
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ann adams 8-01-2006 @ 11:06AM
Perhaps bribery is too strong a word. Or I just don't want to cop to it. Bribery is saying "if you're good, you can have". Or "if you'll just put a sock in it until we get done we'll go get ice cream". Keeping them comfortable and entertained is a little different.
I'm Ann and I'm on my third generation of kids. When the three great-granddaughters (now 10, 11 & 13) I've raised since they were babies were little, I couldn't have made it through the grocery store without snacks from home. Three little stairsteps can be overwhelming and I'll use anything that works.
It kept them from wanting everything they saw on the shelves. The oldest girl would make the entire trek through the store munching on raw broccoli. People stared. I didn't care. I paid for the empty stalk at
checkout (sold by the bunch, not the pound).
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Sherri 8-01-2006 @ 11:41AM
I've never bribed or rewarded with food. I just never wanted to start that. Good behavior comes in time, with teaching and patience.
Even though I haven't done it, I don't think it's a completely bad thing to do on occasion. We've all 'given in' to something at some time in our parenting lives.
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The Nanny 8-01-2006 @ 3:06PM
I'm surprised it hasn't come up before, but isn't your oldest child the one with the weight issues? I was also bribed with food and am still overweight at the age of 32 however I think this has more to do with the fact that I was sexually abused. I'm not anti-bribary, but aren't there other things you could use such as an extra five minutes of a bedtime story, or a trip to the swimming pool? Everything I've read by the child care experts and I have to say my own experience has reinforced it, is not to use food as a tool or an incentive. You end up causing food issues with the child. Myself, I'm more in the camp of not having things as off limits in the house, just simply rarely buying them or having sweets available other than fruit or dried fruit. Just my opionion, you can take it or leave it.
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Uly 8-01-2006 @ 7:07PM
I will reward with treats (of the food and non-food variety), but I won't bribe. Good behaviour is expected.
But I will occasionally, spontaneously, without any advance notice (as in "Be good and then you'll get a BLANK") say "Gee, you were so good today, let's get you a treat".
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Brenda 8-01-2006 @ 8:42PM
I'm not a big fan of using food as a reward. Particularly in the sense of "If you eat all your x then you can have y" because that teaches that some foods are "better" than others.
That being said you have to use what works for your child. If a couple of m&ms, a cookie, or spider-man candy are what makes your child tick, go for it. I am not sure that children see much difference between a sticker and an M&M anyway.
Of course you should never deny your child food if they don't behave.
Brenda
http://preoptimism.blogdrive.com/
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