The trouble with family visits
Categories: Fun & Activities, Development
I never knew that dying was such a complicated process. I should clarify that statement by adding that the aftermath of a sudden death and the procedures for the family are what seem to be so baffling. Not only are there mountains of paperwork, life altering financial decisions to be made, emotions to grapple with, but there is also the extended family to consider.This week a number of my father's relatives descended upon my mother's home to pay their respects and honor my father's memory. Their visit brought my father's brother, age 70, his wife, two of their daughters, their husbands and their small daughters. A fairly large crowd when all is said and done. Some of them chose to stay inside my mother's house, one family brought a pop up camper trailer and one family ended up staying down in town at the Day's Inn. The hotel was not part of the plan, in fact that family had intended to stay in the camper as well. And this is where the trouble with family part comes into the picture.
My mother has three dogs. One is large and looks scary, but is not. One dog is a herding animal and will nudge small children and their playthings into corners. And the last dog, my dog, is all of 8 pounds, has a bit of a Napoleonic complex and tends to nip at heels when push comes to shove. Unfortunately for him, and the rest of us, the arrival of so many souls was a bit too much of a shove and he nipped the back of my cousin's jean clad leg. It was not a huge issue, we explained that had we known they were all arriving at that moment we would have tucked him away in a kennel until things calmed down. But for my cousin's husband it became a HUGE deal. He ranted, raved and threatened to kill my dog. He screamed that he could not bear to stay under the same roof as such a killing beast and that he would rather be elsewhere, at which point my mother suggested a camping site down the road or the Day's Inn in town. The man later came in and offered a half hearted apology about his murderous threats to both my daughter and me. He claimed it had been a long day: a flight to Denver, a drive through the mountains etc. I countered with, " I can understand your fatigue. But we have now had 42 long days in this house since my father died. And for you to come stomping in and threaten to kill my dog doesn't work under any circumstance, especially this one."
Now I understand that I have a neurotic dog. I should have put him away and brought him out after the guests had arrived. He was being protective, I was being oblivious. My cousin was fine with the incident. Her husband behaved like an ass. After much discussion with the other members, it was revealed that he (the husband) behaves like this on a regular basis; had it not been the dog, it would have likely been something else. I hear they have enjoyed their stay at Day's Inn.
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Erin 8-03-2006 @ 5:59PM
Heather, I feel your pain. My dog is also neurotic and people coming to our house tends to be an ordeal. Both for us and for the dog. And then to have the cousin's hubby be a jerk about it, on top of it all!
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Mary P 8-04-2006 @ 2:11PM
If he had a genuine fear of dogs, I might have more sympathy for his outburst - but surely the thing to do then would be to ask that the dog be locked in a different room, not make threats. And who kicks up a nasty aggressive stink when they're supposedly making a *condolence visit* to people who already suffering? Sheesh.
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Ginny 8-04-2006 @ 3:20PM
Did this jerk think he was making a social call? How rude and inconsiderate of him to make such a scene considering your dad had just passed away. Thank goodness that when my dad died in 2002, my mom told everyone that we weren't having anyone back to the house...and nobody bothered us. Why anyone would want to have a bunch of company at that time, I will never understand. I know it's customary, but not for us.
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