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Abbie Rumbach: The Confession That Blew My Daughter's Mind
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Not quite able to leave the children alone yet
Filed under: Just For Moms, Teens, Activities: Babies, Health & Safety: Babies, Development/Milestones: Babies, Day Care & Education
The whole Blogging Baby team knows that Tuesday nights are karaoke nights for me and my husband. We have been going almost every week for five years now. Last night, we realized that our babysitter is out of town. We realized this about an hour before we needed her. Uh oh. Well, we had started leaving the kids by themselves while we go running, so we thought maybe last night was the night to leave them alone for the first time at night. My children are all boys. Sam is going to be 13 in November; Christian will be 10 in two weeks. Tommy is nine in December. I had been babysitting for about a year by the time I was Sam's age. So, I asked Sam if he were comfortable with the situation. He was. I talked to his brothers about letting Sam put them to bed. That is when it started getting sticky. Tommy wanted to stay up. Christian wanted me to put him to bed. So, I did, and told him he could stay up and read. He started reading Frog and Toad, and read a scary story. I moved him to my room where Sam and Tommy were, left phone numbers, told Sam to call if he needed me to come home, kissed them all and headed out the door.
We got into the car, and started driving down the alley in back of our house when I whimpered and said, "I can't do it." I kissed my husband and got out of the car and walked home. When I got home, I walked up to the closed bedroom door. They had barricaded themselves against the night. I just turned the knob and swung the door open and stood there sheepishly. "Mommy!" They all rushed at me and clung to me. They were prepared to be brave, but when all was said and done, they were happy to see their mommy. My youngest poured himself some juice and came into the living room and played a CD for us. I let them stay up a little bit and put them to bed.
I don't know when we will all be ready for the next step. I am just grateful to recognize when we are not. Have you reached this Watershed? How did you know you were ready?
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
8-16-2006 @ 8:35AM
Anonny said...We face this issue ALL the time. My 13 year old stepdaughter has been begging to babysit her 4 year old stepsister at night. My husband and I are absolutely against it. If something - anything - were to happen - the 13 year old would never be able to forgive herself. Even the best of 13 year olds have a difficult, at best, time of paying attention to something they don't want to, let alone getting their siblings to do things they don't want to do. The hazards are simply not worth it for the convenience. The lesson is to always have a least 1 back up babysitter and a bonded service at your disposal.
Luckily in our district the law is on our side. It's illegal for kids under 14 to be unsupervised, so it's only a logical extension that a kid under 14 should not be allowed to supervise others under 14.
Unfortunately, my husband's ex has an entirely different set of values and frequently leaves their daughter in charge of her 2 other kids who are both under 4.
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8-16-2006 @ 9:22AM
Ginny said..."When I got home, I walked up to the closed bedroom door. They had barricaded themselves against the night."
Aw, I bet you were VERY glad to have followed your instincts...as were they.
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8-16-2006 @ 10:02AM
ann adams said...I can't do it because of Elcie who would be unable to get out fast enough if something happened. Once in a while in the day for a fast errand but that's it.
I babysat during the day at 11 or 12 but times were so different.
We don't have an actual law for the older kids. Too many latch key kids I guess. They start so young.
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8-16-2006 @ 10:28AM
Lin said...I leave only my oldest son alone, he's 13. I would never leave my 8 year old with him. They bicker and things could get out of control and who knows what would happen.
Our state too has a "law" about being 14 but when I called DCFS about the neighbor lady leaving her kids 6+7 hours at a time (10,8 & 4) they blew me off and told me it happens all the time and unless it was past dark it wasn't endangering them. We certainly live in different times!!
I have a friend who's little girl got hit by a car while helping the 13 yr old chase their dog that got loose. She's in a coma for 3 years now. I would never put that responsibility on my son. Nothing is that important that I can't do it with them.
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8-16-2006 @ 11:03PM
Alice said...That story is so sweet. I actually have tears in my eyes!!
I can't even imagine my kids being big enough to leave them alone. And I really don't want to either!!
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8-17-2006 @ 3:35PM
Angie said...I had started babysitting at 11, and so we let my daughter start sitting at 11 also. She became Red Cross certified babysitter at 12, and also worked in the church nursery and preschool rooms. She does a good job, and her 11 year old brother helps. I think he is old enough to watch maybe one child for a brief errand, but I don't think he's ready to be the full-time babysitter. Maybe he should take the Red Cross class.
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