When mom becomes dad, literally

Filed under: Gay Parenting

Some women have been asking, "Is Lesbianism dead?" It is a question that has been raging in women's colleges across the nation as more women seek surgery to become tansgendered men. There is an unease brewing in the gay and lesbian communities as women who go through with the surgical and hormonal procedures are more and more seen as having little gender loyalty.

"There are many people who look at what these young women are doing, and say to themselves, 'Hey, by turning yourselves into men, don't you realize you're going over to the other side?' " says Barbara Price, a former festival producer. "We thought we were all supposed to be in this together."

Aside from the political issues of tansgenderism, it is often the relationship issues that prove to be very difficult for women who, through surgery, achieve full anatomical maleness. While the surgery may fulfill one partner's needs and dreams, it can leave the other partner feeling confused and betrayed. "I am a lesbian because I am attracted to women, and not to men, says on women who broke up with her longtime girlfriend after she became a man, "I decided I couldn't be in a romantic relationship with a man."

I had a friend in college who spent over two years going through the transition to go from being a male to a female. It was a grueling and long process, one which she had to be 100% committed to the entire journey. I think it is amazing that surgical possibilities can help people find their true selves. It is not an easy snap of the fingers to do so; the judgment, inner turmoil and expenses they must endure are formidable. If there are children involved, the transition is that much more difficult. But if both partners are comfortable with it, then it will help any involved children deal with it that much easier.

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Start by teaching him that it is safe to do so.