Secret work culture

This is quite true. Those without kids sometimes get pissed off because they're working late and the parents aren't, but it's their choice to stay. I'm sorry, but if your life is so boring that you have nothing better to do than to stick around until 7pm (or if you enjoy your work that much), that's your problem. Don't blame parents for it.

The same goes for bosses. If you need all your people to work 10 hour days, you're woefully understaffed. Bite the bullet and hire more people; the current group will probably bail as soon as possible anyway.

As long as you're not leaving without putting in your time (or doing your work, depending on how you're paid), there is nothing to feel guilty about.

I used to work for a company where I got yelled at for only putting in 50-60 hours per week (even as Management officially claimed they didn't want anyone working more than 40). That was fine when I was paid hourly and had no kids. I've since left that company.

Reply

I have become such a clock watcher now! I used to stay later often as I would get engrossed in projects. Now, with a 35 minute commute home, and the little one's bedtime routine starting at 6:30, I try to be out the door by 5 at the latest.

Reply

If your workday ends at 4:30 and you leave at 4:30 you ARE there "at the end of the day". You are not there PAST the end of the day. Let's see this through the accurate lens.

Reply

The thing is, we're not leaving to go belly up at the bar or get our eyebrows waxed. We have to clockwatch and hustle, because the babysitter starts charging astronomical fees and the child(ren) has/have to be fed and otherwise taken care of. We're rushing out so we won't be late for Work Part II and there is no time to dally, or become happily engrossed in a pet project. It feels less club-like to me and more of a pressure that is enjoyable sometimes and stressful at others. I always love seeing my child at the end of a day, but sometimes wish I had the luxury of seeing certain projects through while I'm on fire about them and not have to cut it off until the next day.

Reply

I say if your children are that all fired important to you (as they should be) find a way to stay home!!

I worked for the first 13 years of my kids' lives. I finally said enough is enough!

Being there for my kids is more important than buying a new car or having a bigger house.

What are your kids going to remember most when they grow up? Not, "Wow, Mom and Dad bought me a lot of really cool toys because I deserved them!" it'll be more like, "Mom and Dad were never home to play ball with me or teach me to cook!"

Get your priorities in order! If you must work, then work - but that isn't your priority! Raising your kids is your priority!

I swear, the women's movement screwed up EVERYTHING!! (and yes, I AM a woman before anyone assumes otherwise)

Reply

Having kids should not be an excuse for leaving work early. If you cannot juggle work and family then I suggest you find a new career! I am a single father and have no choice but to work and support my family, but I find ways of spending time with my family without leaving my co-workers short handed. Hiring more people is not always an option, but maybe they should get rid of the slackers and hire more quality personnel that dont use kids as an excuse to leave work early every day.

Reply

The reason some of us childfree people stay until 7pm,isn't because we have nothing better to do.(Trust me, we have much better things to do) We choose to stay until 7pm is because most of the time we have to fill in for those needing to go to soccer practices.Another reason is because we hope we'll have more of a chance of getting ahead at work when we go above and beyond of doing our fair share at work,and getting paid more nicely.
And also there is nothing wrong with going to happy hour,and going to a salon or spa after work.

Reply

My daycare closes at 6pm, and I have staff here all day very free to talk with me and decide to 'chat' at 550!! then they get angry that I have to get my son - I do say there's nothing I can do because the physical facility actually closes....! Really do have to wonder what these people have to do besides work. In this particular instance, work at another job and that's it. I still haven't gotten over verbal 'reaming' for actually going to my prenatal appts! No wonder divorce rate is so high and our teens are in so much trouble - the family usually is either invisible to work or perceived to be a burden on the workplace. Neither one is true, I feel having a child has helped me grow as a person and in assisting my customers as well! Thank you for bringing such a 'secret' subject up!

Reply

I don't care about parents leaving early to pick up their kids. Just don't expect me to pick up your slack (i.e., do your job) for you.

Reply

Leaving at your appointed time isn't the problem. How about the fact that most of the time, those employees with children are given the plum schedules so that they can go get their kids from day care, thus assuming those of us who choose to be child-free have no life and therefore can work later. how about the employees with children taking more days away from work due to the kid's illnesses or activities, leaving the bulk of the work to guess who?
i certainly don't begrudge any woman who wants to have a family, but it is a pure urban myth that you can have a career and a family. the children suffer due to part-time mothers and co-workers suffer from having to pick of their slack.

Reply

Why bother to have children if you're just going to stick them in day care anyway? That's not parenting, that's a pet. Of course there are circumstances that require it, and that's understandable. But if both parents are working and just can't bear to give up their incomes, stick with a dog. And AMEN to Stay At Home Mom! You've got it right!

Reply

I am a full time single Dad, and I recall a conversation with a headhunter about my daughters school and daycare hours; "When can you work then?" They said. I said 7:30 until 5:30.
I was then asked how I was going to make up the "lost time"
I simply said "They need to hire someone else, then."

Reply

I have been both an "AT HOME MOM" and "A WORKING MOM". I made sure in my divorce that I would recieve alimony and child support so that I could be home with my young children. When the youngest started school full time I went to work part time for the first few years and have been full time ever since. Im my search for jobs I made sure that I had flex time so I could participate in my childrens lives in & out of school.
My youngest just started college. I am still working for a company with flex time, so I am able to attend my young adults college sporting events when they are nearby. I count myself lucky and blessed to have been able to create memories with my children by searching for the right employer!

Reply

more and more companies today are doing what they can to make sure the investors and top execs are happy at the expense of the ppl doing all the REAL work. so you see ALOT of ppl cutting out at 4,430, 5, 530. not b/c they got to go get the kids, and do the grocery shopping and get dinner on the table and homework done before bed. but b/c their bosses won't let them work more hours! it's no secret! i'm only 25, with no kids and the past few jobs i had did it to me! sure that did give me time to go get my hair and nails done before my dates, but at the same time i felt more like a drone and not like someone the company wanted to keep b/c they appreciated me working to keep them in business.

but you do still have the steretype of parents rushing out early in the name of their kids. but what do these ppl do at work all day? MOST don't take breaks, work through their lunches, which they brown bag, and take work home with them, if their company allows it. parents have to work TWICE as hard at work to prove to their bosses that they value their jobs, even if their bosses don't value them. sad, but true. and it doesn't help that the company screws them over with lack of pay, crappy health care plans and the constant unspoken threat of being kicked out b/c apparently there's someone else out there who will do the same crap for less pay. someone needs to tell The Man to back off! nothing will get done if this keeps up b/c ppl will go off on their own before they stand for more treatment like this. but i implore parents to do what's best for them and their families, just don't think that the rest of us can pick up your slack. we're feeling the same thing as you.

Reply

As a person without children I used to get irritated with the parents who were able to leave early from work while the rest of us stayed until 5:00. However, I got over it when I realized that the parents aren't leaving work early for fun, leisure time. Instead, they are rushing to their "second job" without pay and aren't REALLY off until 9:00 or 10:00. I, on the other hand, stay the extra half hour; but once 5:00 hits, I am free to enjoy my evening! Trust me, I have it better!

Reply

You work to provide for your children.I am a single mom and I don't think there is anything wrong with working,you show your kids that hard work pays off,and you teach them about responsibility.You can sit there and bag on parents for working,but each person has different circumstances.I want my kids to have nice things there is nothing wrong with that.I don't want them teased or picked on.I find your remarks about children being pets offensive.Not right on it's right off.

Reply

This comment is directed at "Stay at home Mom". "If you must work, then work - but that isn't your priority! Raising your kids is your priority!".
That's understandable if you are ABLE to stay at home and take care of your children. Not everyone has that luxury due to unforseen circumstances in their lives. Working IS a prioriry if I want to raise my children. Do you plan on paying for my house note, utility bills, school clothes/supplies, lunches, text book rentals, doctor's payments, medicine, groceries, car payments, insurance, gas and any other NEED in my life or other parents lives? Until you are able to view all sides of people's lives, do not compare the "women's movement" to basic survival. There is no comparison.

Reply

Shame on your comments and your egotistical attitudes "stay at home mom" and "mari" ! How can you assume because two parents in the home work its because we "can't" do without our large homes or our big cars, private schools or designer clothes, or maybe its because our kids dictate where our money is spent or how they are raised. Maybe every family could get by with a "stay at home parent", but is getting by enough? Maybe getting by isn't what the double income family wants to settle for. My husband and I have chosen to both work but we have chosen to work different shifts almost our entire married life so that we may afford the extras . We wanted our kids to be able to go to camp, play football, dance, play an instrument, do whatever it was we could help them do to grow and be a happy kid and I can assure you our children are no more "pets" than yours. Our children are hard working and well behaved. You see, they have been blessed with a mom and a dad that treasure them every day they walk on the earth and teach them how to work hard and get along with others in the real world. We have not taught them prejudice or how to be judgemental. We have also taught them to accept and be tolerant of those around them. I would just like to thank you for your selfish insight on what a "stay at home mom" is. Thank Heaven all "stay at home parents" do NOT share your beliefs or comments. My husband and I have been married 28years, our children range in age from 25 to 11, none of which have police records(which sometimes come from being neglegected due to both parents working) and I can only HOPE you will not be the mother-in-law to any one of my 6 wonderful sons.

Reply

Thats what an employer must live with. If it makes the employee, whether mon or dad it is in the long run to the employer's best interest. As to co-workers you are lucky not to be married or with them. Some people do not understand caring for children and working, its not a nine to five job. Next time a co-employee is on the phone in a private conversation give them a nice grimace.

Reply

Everybody is a critic!! I have three beautiful kids, and I would love nothing more then to stay home with them. But that is financially impossible. We are not rich by any means, monetarily that is. But we have a heafty mortgage, the extra curicular activities, the clothes, the vacations. Life in general. I work very hard at my job. I consider my job outside of my home my part-time job. When I get home after 7:00 p.m. most nights then my full time begins. I could stay home but then my children would not be able to have the life that they have now. Money would be so tight it would get ridiculous, probably have to sell our house or God only knows what.
While I agree some are in it just for the luxury life working affords them (I have yet to meet anyone like that though), some of us have no other choice. Before you judge ( especially the ones who don't have children or the one(s) who are lucky enough to work from home) you should walk a mile in my shoes.

Reply