When to stay home from work

I have had to make a few sacrifices since having children. I am no longer able to work for a big corporation with strict rules. I have found a wonderful job with an employer who is very flexible. I have taken so many days off in the past 6 years due to sick children. Since my two were both in day care until recently, they got sick pretty often. I have also been known to bring the kids in to work when they were not sick but the day care had a holiday. In my case, a job with a lot of flexibility is the only way I can make working and parenting jive. The down side is, I don't make as much money as I would if I were able to be here every day/all day.

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If possibe drop him off at daycare long enough for you to do your presentation at work. Most daycares will take sick children. Check with yours and have them call you if he gets sicker. It's the only way to be home with him and do your job at the same time. Life is a balanceing act you'll figure out how to balance yours soon.

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Since Nolan is in the care of your best friend, is she a bit more lenient when it comes to having him there with a fever? The point might be moot if he can't go anyway.

Can you compromise? If he goes to daycare, could you give your presentation and then leave early?

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I don't know where you live, but Texas has a state law that students/kids can't go back to school until they've been fever-free for 24 hours without medication (Tylenol, whatever) to bring down the fever.

I hear you, Kristin, about your job. I love, love, LOVE teaching, but I love, love, LOVE my son more. When he's sick, he NEEDS me. I know you're still trying to find a balance, and I promise it will come. For now, though, your employer will have to understand that putting a child in daycare = more sickness simply due to more contact with more people.

It's also not fair to all the other parents who have to work and take their kids to the same daycare where Nolan is. If he's contagious, he'll just get them all sick, too. All this on top of being completely miserable because he's sick and not at home with mommy or daddy.

Any chance you and hubby could tag-team? We do this a lot -- he'll stay with Jonathan while I teach my morning classes, then I rush home at noon so he can go to work. Maybe he could stay home while you go do your presentation, then you could trade out??

If not, stay home. Enjoy comforting little Nolan. Get caught up on laundry so your life feels a little more in balance. That's what I'm doing with Jonathan today -- and he sounds exactly like Nolan, symptoms and all.

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Ikes. I am home with a sick kid today. Same thing as Nolan. I could have sent her on to daycare because her fever was under 100.5, but I didn't any pressing work today.

There are only 2 other kids at her daycare. She doesn't really have any contact with any other kids so she probably picked it up there. I say that because I wouldn't have felt bad sending her to daycare today if I had something to do. Kids get colds and mild infections all the time, and you can't stop everything for them.

If you want to go back, go back. More then likely all the kids at his daycare have already been exposed to whatever he has. He'll be fine without you for a couple of hours.

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The schools here send kids home with a fever and I keep them home with anything over 100°.

I was lucky enough to have a flexible employer the last 15 years I worked. I had flex time, 2 "float" days, sick days, and six weeks vacation a year. I used a lot of personal time between the boys and their dad who was ill.

I wish they'd been a little more flexible. If I'd had a computer and fax at home, I could have gone in one or two days a week and still accomplished just as much. They never did understand how much sense that made.

It's hard juggling kids and work. I've done it most of my adult life. Not now; I couldn't have done it one more time.

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When Oliver is under the weather, and can't go to our Get Well Room, my husband and I split the day. I work in the morning and he stays home. Around 12:30 or so we swap off. It helps that my husband's company is three hours behind us so the other members of his group don't really notice. If Oliver takes a morning nap, he gets a little work in from home.

It works well for us. We both feel like we've contributed at least a little at home and at work.

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With a fever, I'd keep him home. There is no way to know what he has- it could be the start of something minor (Cold, viral thingy) or something virulent and highly contagious- strep throat, coxsackie virus, etc...Not to mention it is harder for a caregiver to tend to a sick child while she has others to care for as well.

My son had chicken pox at age 3 and I missed an entire week of work plus night classes. It was a disaster, but I had no choice, as I was a single mom at the time. PLUS- I didn't get paid when I was out sick AND I still had to pay the daycare.....

I'm one of those moms that gets really annoyed when someone brings an obviously feverish, rashy, coughing, oozing mucous everywhere child to library story time or playgroup. YES, all kids get sick, YES, it primes their immune systems, BUT PLEASE don't knowingly infect others when your child is contagious.

I think this is one of those situations you have to ask yourself "Who is more important?" This is one of the things about working moms that they forgot to tell you. Will your career suffer because you miss- let's say- 18 days of work because Nolan is sick this year? Is that your concern? I hope not!!!!

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"YES, all kids get sick, YES, it primes their immune systems, BUT PLEASE don't knowingly infect others when your child is contagious. "

Not to mention, it's best to keep the child at home so he/she can get better. I cringe when I hear about my friends taking their sick children places that they don't need to go...for instance...camping. Then they just can't believe their kid is still sick a week later. JUST SUCK IT UP and CANCEL YOUR PLANS! OK, Now that I got that off my chest, I feel a little better. haha

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What are the rules? As PPs have said - many day cares send kids home w/a fever over 100. I usually go by how my kids act too. I've had kids w/fevers acting happy and fine and those w/no fevers miserable...

How much work can you do from home? I've built up a lot of good will w/my bosses by being organized at work so someone can find things if necessary and by being available on e-mail and voice mail for important stuff even when home w/sick kids.

Get used to it - the guilt, the balance, but you'll find something that works.

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Are there any family members who can help out on an emerg basis? Another mum in the neighbourhood?

If I were in your predicament, I'd set up something with another mum or a family member and then work a half day. Or see if you can work it out that hubby goes to work two hours late or leaves two hours early and you do the opposite, thereby dramatically reducing the amount of time needed away from Nolan.

Alternately, is there a professional who can come to your home like a temp nanny service or a doula or someone who can work at your home on short notice? (I noticed a sign in Washington DC while I was there on business once, many years ago, for a temp nanny service for when kids are sick and parents need to go to work. Brilliant business idea for a big city!)

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Fever, really bad diarrhea and anything contagious that isn't being treated (ie., chicken pox in its contagious stage).

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It's an easy decision for me -- my son's daycare has rules against bringing in a sick child. I think it works well -- otherwise, I might be tempted to go to work when he's sick, and feel guilty about it all day. This way, I don't have much choice (and I feel fine about it). That's maybe a bit convoluted -- but it works for us.

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It's funny that you wrote this because I have been home with my daughter a couple of days this week, and I've been struggling with the same dilemma -- wanting to coddle her and cuddle with her, but desperately needing to put in the required amount of work. I'm actually planning to post about this in some length on my blog, because I know it's a dilemma parents suffer with, particularly when we've already exhausted leave balances after the birth of a child or a more lengthly illness. I'd love to see more family-friendly work policies put in place to help with this type of situation.

For now, my husband and I are fortunate enough to have fairly flexible work options where we can telecommute on an ad-hoc basis. It works pretty well with the older daughter (the one who was just sick) because she's pretty low-maintenance, but when my littler one (almost 2) is sick, we have to count on chasing her around more of the day unless she's feeling REALLY bad.

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