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How to help prevent temper tantrums
Filed under: Babies, Toddlers Preschoolers, Development/Milestones: Babies
Everyone knows what it's like to witness a child's temper tantrum. Even before you had kids of your own, you may remember standing in a grocery store line behind some woman who may have uttered that two-letter word no 2-year-old wants to hear - N-O - only to be met by wailing and whining from the child. Temper tantrums can be hard on parents and kids. Parents get frustrated and embarrassed, particularly if their little darling is acting up in a public place. When children have tantrums, they, too, may be expressing frustration, anger or disappointment. An article on HealthAtoZ pointed out that temper tantrums are a normal part of a child's development as he learns self-control. Emotions are hard for young children to hold inside, and hard for them to express in words. So, when they are frustrated, angry, or disappointed, they often cry, scream, stomp up and down, and may even throw themselves on the floor kicking and screaming. Children have temper tantrums when they aren't getting their own way, to get a grownup's attention, or when they are tired, hungry or feeling helpless. Nearly all children have tantrums between the ages of 1 and 3. After age 3, temper tantrums taper off as children learn to express their feelings. they trust. You can't prevent all tantrums, but you can reduce the odds of your child having one if you follow these suggestions:
- Make sure your child is well rested, especially before a busy day or before a lot of activity. Keep a daily routine as much as possible, so your child knows what to expect.
- Avoid long outings or keeping a child out late beyond her bedtime. If you have a trip, bring along your child's favorite books or toys for entertainment.
- Encourage your child to use his words to describe feelings.
- Let your child make choices when possible. If your child resists taking a bath, you can be firm about the bath, but you might ask which toys he would like to pick to bring in the bath.
- Allow transition time when changing activities. If your child is having fun, he will need some time to switch gears when he must change to another activity. For example, if he's playing as dinnertime approaches, give him a five-minute notice that you will be eating soon.











ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
9-05-2006 @ 5:12PM
LS said...I've found that with my toddler, preparation - the "in five minutes 'this' will happen" - works like a charm. Because he has no concept of time yet, so I went and bought myself a cheap digital watch with a beeping alarm. I tell him, "When my watch beeps, 'this' will happen". It can be anything... dinner, naptime, going to the store, whatever. Then I set my watch. 30 seconds or 30 minutes, it doesn't matter. When that watch beeps, he's ready to go. This technique has SERIOUSLY cut down on the temper tantrums, and he has now begun asking for the 'watch beep'.
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9-05-2006 @ 6:03PM
Nicola said...LS -- what a FANTASTIC idea! I use the "five minutes" thing all the time, but like you said, my 2 1/2 year old has no concept of what that means, and thus, after the five minutes are up, he is as upset about the change in activity as if there had been no warning. Plus, being a typical toddler (or a typical male?), he doesn't pay attention. However, he loves alarms, things that beep, and all things electronic. Setting an alarm would catch his interest, and then the beeping would signal a finite change of activity, no wiggle room allowed. You may have saved my sanity today!
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9-05-2006 @ 6:52PM
thordora said...LS is totally right-transitional warnings have staved off many a tantrum in this house as well. We don't need the watch, since it tends to be more, "when this is done" timing, but we use clocks periodically as well.
More than anything, a well rested fed child does wonders. We work around the naps when necessary, and we've suffered the wrath of not doing so.
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