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Dealing with a tantrum
Filed under: Development/Milestones: Babies
Yesterday I wrote a post on ways to possibly prevent temper tantrums. Although the tips might come in helpful, there is now a way to field all the tantrums a child is likely to throw. So in case of emergencies, here are a few thoughts on what to do if the precautions fail and you find yourself faced with a screaming child in aisle 4 of the grocery store, not that it's ever happened to me....You see it coming, but it's too late. The tantrum has begun, and now what do you do? Here are some suggestions, online at HealthAtoZ, that can help you both get through it: Distract your child by calling his attention to something else, such as a new activity, book, or toy. Or interrupt his behavior with a comment like, "Do you see what that kitty is doing?" Changing your location may work. Humor, or making a silly face, can work, too, sometimes. Try to remain calm. Shouting or becoming angry is only likely to make matters worse. The general rule is the more attention you give a tantrum, the more likely it is to happen again. Ignore it, if it's minor. Either stand quietly and wait until it's over, or silently pick him up and leave the scene. This might mean leaving a store or a checkout line and taking your child to your car to calm down. If you are unable to leave the child alone for safety reasons or because you're in a situation where you can't leave (such as on an airplane), holding her may comfort her Some temper tantrums cannot be ignored. The following behaviors should not be ignored and are not acceptable:
- Hitting or kicking parents or others
- Throwing things in a dangerous way
- Prolonged screaming or yelling
- Never punish your child for a temper tantrum. He may start to bottle up his anger or frustration, which can be unhealthy.
- Try to respond calmly, with understanding.
- Do not reward your child for stopping a tantrum. Rewards may teach your child that a temper tantrum will help her get her way.
- Don't try to reason with your child during a tantrum. Logical explanations are unlikely to be heard through the crying and yelling.
- Don't change your "no" to a "yes" just to get your child to be quiet. Letting your child have his way may solve the problem that instant, but if he learns that throwing a tantrum will help him get his way, he'll surely try it again.
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
7-14-2008 @ 6:52PM
Kendra said...Great article. Thanks for sharing. My little one is just starting up with the tantrums and I am doing all the reading up I can at the moment. Luckily it hasn't gotten too bad yet and none have been in public! As long as he's well rested and we're paying proper (as in complete) attention to him, we've been pretty good at avoiding them.
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9-06-2006 @ 10:59PM
LS said...My brother turned me on to an interesting tactic that works for my little one. When the tantrum starts, I look him in the eye and say, "I can't understand what's wrong if you're screaming. Stop screaming and tell me what's wrong, and then you can go back screaming" Child slows on the screaming, and begins telling me what's wrong... and usually there really IS something wrong, and by the time he's done, he's been heard, and we deal with the situation. And he RARELY goes back to the screaming. I guess it's just a form of distraction, but it solves the root problem of what's actually wrong. Because sometimes, something really IS wrong!
It also works with a kid who has hurt himself and you don't know what happened...
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9-07-2006 @ 2:12AM
Croft said...There is a great commercial here in Holland where a kid is throwing a temper tantrum in a grocery store. The mom then drops to the floor and starts kicking a screaming like her son. He stops immediately and stares at her. Then they go on their way. It is hillarious! Unfortunitly it is not too effective in selling since I do not remeber what it was for :-)
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9-07-2006 @ 6:12AM
AngelaFay said...My mom reacted with the 'tantrum coach' method: while my sister layed on the floor thrashing about my mom would cheer her on with, "more leg kicks, more arms - NO both at the same time, now really give a good scream!", etc. It worked on a couple levels...my sister would get frustrated/distracted and my mom could vent some emotions in a positive way. It looked weird, but it worked. Few tantrums happend after that approach was introduced.
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