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There is more than one way to transport your father's body
Filed under: Just For Dads, Places To Go
On a recent trip train trip from California to Chicago an elderly man and his middle aged daughter boarded the train for a cross country sight seeing trip. The gentleman, Daniel Stepanovich, was suffering from advanced brain and lung cancers; he and his daughter were spending some quality time together before he passed away. Unfortunately for both of them, Stepanovich did pass away sometime around the middle of the trip while slumbering in his sleep car. His daughter refrained from informing any officials aboard the train of his death. When the train arrived in Chicago, its destination and the daughter's home, she reported his death to the train staff. When asked why she had not said anything earlier, she claimed that she had already purchased his ticket and could not afford the additional expenses of transporting his body to Chicago. It had been nearly 23 hours since his death, his body had traveled nearly 1,000 miles.
Now I have to wonder just what this woman was thinking while she rode those last 23 hours with her father. Did she pretend he was just sleeping? Did she grieve and make peace with his passing? While part me admires her ingenuity and thriftiness, the other part has some serious, "Ewwww!" factor at the thought. What about you? Clever thriftiness or just plain gross?
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
9-12-2006 @ 5:37PM
Pitchel said...I wonder what is her age? If she is too young maybe she just don't understand her action. If she is adult then she is just greedy. It's pity in any cases, her father died :(
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9-12-2006 @ 6:01PM
Jacqueline said...It doesn't seem that strange to me, sitting for a day with the body of a loved one is a common practice for many cultures, although it's too bad she had to go through it alone.
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9-12-2006 @ 6:26PM
thordora said...I don't find much icky about it-it's just his body, which she had been sitting next to before hand anyway.
We're too far removed from death anymore-once they had wakes in the house-now, we barely even touch the bodies of our closest friends and relatives.
I'd do the same personally. And maybe she didn't have the money to transport him "the right way", whatever that is....some of us "adults" are poor too...
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9-12-2006 @ 8:20PM
Uly said...She might well have been stunned about it, and used the 'bought the ticket' excuse because she didn't want to explain why she took no action beforehand.
Ever hear the one (true story) about the man who left his dead mother in the living room for five years? The first day, he was too upset to do anything, and then the longer it went on, the harder it was to call somebody.
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9-12-2006 @ 7:21PM
ann adams said...When I was young, the funeral homes hadn't completely taken over and the deceased was kept at home in the parlor with someone sitting watch. Nobody found it gross. I'm not saying I want to go back to those days but I'm realistic about funeral costs.
When my sons' dad died, I priced shipping costs from CA to AR. No way could I do it. To compromise with his family who wanted him home, he was cremated in CA and I carried his ashes to AR.
I'm not sure what I would have done in her position but I'm not ready to call it greed.
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9-12-2006 @ 7:53PM
LB said...Was she trying avoid the cost or the trauma? My aunt had the sorry experience of being on a train where a man died and it took HOURS to his body off, also the conductors were not at all repsectful.
She wanted to go home. My heart goes out to her grappling with the hassles and costs and heartaches of leaving her dad remains behind so far away from home.
I don't think a dead body is in and of itself gross; arguably what we do to body afterward is gross.
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9-12-2006 @ 10:53PM
Rachel May said...Um... there *are* gross things about a dead body. Whatever are in the urinary bladder and bowels leak out because the muscles that naturally hold the materials in are relaxed at the point of death. Whatever bacteria and yeasts are in the body can multiply to the point of being unhealthy for anyone in the vicinity. Decomposition begins to happen almost immediately (you're actually decomposing all the time -- it's just that your normal processes replace the materials lost and discard of the materials that die). Not to mention the smell.
I can't say that I'd respond well in her situation, but you wouldn't see me sitting quietly about it. I'd be freaking out that my dad died.
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9-13-2006 @ 10:09AM
Sandy said...The "good news" about brain and lung cancers are that the dying have some notice of impending death. Everyone's got some time, if even a few days, to deal with the reality of impending death.
I'd have probably sat with Dad, too.
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9-13-2006 @ 10:04AM
Lea said...While we can't know exactly what she was thinking or feeling, seems to me she might have been honoring him as respectfully as she knew how, given the circumstances. Maybe he was the kind of man who didn't like to draw a lot of attention (my dad is like that). Imagine the ruckus of alerting the conductor, making a special stop, figuring out what to do with the body once it was off the train....
Anyone read Faulkner's _As I Lay Dying_? Can't help but think of that one here. :) It's a sort of odyssey of returning a mother's body to the place she wanted to be buried. The characters are determined to treat her respectfully and grant her wish, no matter what happens along the way. It's great.
- L
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9-13-2006 @ 10:48AM
magdalena said...Um, this lady was nuts. I'm sorry, but if you don't know what a body looks like after a day, take yourself back to the viewing of The Pope. I would not want to be sitting next to a dead person for 23 hours, even if it was my father. Those of you who are referencing past tradions of sitting with the body for 3 days, uh, THEY WASHED THE BODY. Did she take him to the tiny bathroom and wash him up? Did she use some wet-ones?
The whole thing is just so Weekend at Bernie's.
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