Diaper changing in public

by Kristin Darguzas (Subscribe to Kristin Darguzas's posts) Sep 13th 2006 2:00PM

Categories: Newborns, Just For Moms, Babies, Just For Dads, Playground Bureau

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One of my readers emailed me the other day to tell me about an interesting debate happening on her blog. You can have a look at her entry and decide for yourself, but essentially, here's the story.

Carly and her family were at a local coffee shop drive-in when their baby girl had a poop. As parents, I'm sure we're all intimately familiar with this: baby always chooses the most inopportune places to poop. Anyway, the family went inside the shop to change the baby's diaper and there were no change tables to be found. So, with no choice, Carly put down protection and changed her baby on a restaurant table.

One customer was so outraged that she barked at Carly and her husband and threatened to call head office. Though Carly noted helplessly that there were no change tables in the bathroom, the customer was livid.

So, what do you think, Internet? Is it disgusting to change your baby's diaper in public? What would you have done?

Comments (55)

Reader Comments (Page 1 of 3)

Joe Siegler 9-13-2006 @ 3:04PM

I can understand why in a place where people eat that someone freaked out about that on a TABLE. I don't agree with the overreaction, but I do understand WHY.

I would have left the dirty diaper at their table. ;)

Catherine 9-13-2006 @ 3:04PM

I don;t think it's disgusting to change a baby in public, in fact I have done it when necessary. However, I always chose an out-of-the-way spot, especially if it was a poopy diaper - and NEVER on a restaurant table.

People are going to eat on that table, and no matter how careful you are - I know I would not want to eat on a table a baby was just changed on. If there was no where else, at least I would use the bench seat - plus there is less chance of anyone noticing.

Jean 9-13-2006 @ 3:04PM

I think it's horrible that they didn't have any changing tables available in the bathroom. But I don't think changing a poopy diaper on a table where people are eating was the right thing to do.

For me personally, I never used those bathroom changing tables, they seem so dirty. I always changed my son (who's now 2.5) on the passenger seat of my car. Not always easy, but it keeps it private and cleaner than a public place.

Brenda 9-13-2006 @ 3:04PM

What's wrong with the floor?

Big Grown-Up Mommy (Heather) 9-13-2006 @ 3:27PM

Well, I think restaurants that don't provide changing areas are asking for just what happened.
However, I don't think on the table was the right place either, but not having seen this place, I don't know what other options there might have been.
I usually use my car if at all possible. A booth seat is also more private, and sometimes you can find an out-of-the-way corner and do it on the floor. Still, if a table was truly the only option, then you have to do what you have to do. It sounds like she was careful.

Kat 9-13-2006 @ 3:02PM

I don't know if changing her on a table was such a good idea. after all people do eat on the table. I would of just changed her in the car.

when we where on a roadtrip last year my daughter had a huge diaper blowout. we where lost and couldn't find anywhere to stop to change her, the car was packed with stuff so changing her on the backseat was out.

I just layed a blanket on the hood of the car and changed her there. we got a few looks from people driving past us, but at least her butt got clean.

LB 9-13-2006 @ 2:25PM

I really think these parents made a boo-boo. I still don't get why they couldn't have changed the baby in the car? How long with the smell linger in nice weather once the windows were down? If they didn't want the smell in the car, what on earth made them think people would tolerate it near thier food? Seriously, as much as poopy diapers can stink, if you can't handle a little while of stinky car, you are gonna have problems, kids sometimes stink. It doesn't end either, 'cause there is gonna be puberty to be grappled with, so steel yourselves parents!

Also with two parents available to change one little baby's butt- using the table where people eat is inexcusable. One parent holds the baby while the other chagnges the baby. We have done this, with cloth diapers, with two older siblings jumping on our feet. yes the baby squirms, no it's not easy, but hey what is?This is yet another reason why I love my strollers- instant changing spot. Most restroom chaging tables are sooo disgusting to use. Assuming a parent was alone, with no stroller and needed to change the baby somewhere flat, she should have at the very least gone to a booth and used a seat, not the table.

Liza 9-13-2006 @ 4:00PM

When we were in that situation and with no car nearby, we'd put down protection on the floor of the bathroom and do the change there. Not my first, best choice, but no way would I have used a table where food is going to be served. That's gotta be against health code, not to mention that there are people eating nearby. It's one thing to smell a poopy diaper, but another entirely to change the diaper in view of people who are eating or drinking.

Sarah 9-13-2006 @ 2:33PM

I have no problems with cute little bottoms being changed in public - on the table of a restaurant is another story. There are obvious health concerns and really, would YOU like to have someone change a poopy butt while you are enjoying your morning coffee? Every mother/father encounters this obstacle as we discover that our favorite restaurants are (oh my god) not baby friendly. Once in a restaurant I layed a spare receiving blanket on the floor of a bathroom - grossed me out a bit but the baby was safe, the blanket went in the wash and everyone was happy. (I also found that the truck of my car was a GREAT place to change the babes - other people may find that odd...)

KG 9-13-2006 @ 2:41PM

We just got back from a road trip to California and we had problems finding places to change our toddler along the way. We did use a table at a rest stop, but seeing as how they're out in the open anyway and heaven only knows how many animals do their business around them, I don't consider that a big deal. We changed her in her stroller at the zoo. Depending on the size of your child, changing him or her in the car is not always easy, especially with the car seat in the middle of the back seat, but I would NEVER change my kid on a restaurant table where people actually have to eat. That's just gross. There are always alternatives. Maybe putting two chairs together? But not on top of a table. Ew.

Nicola 9-13-2006 @ 2:43PM

Inexcusable. This is the sort of behaviour that gives parents a bad name and makes babies unwelcome in "adult" venues. Change the baby -- in the car, on the floor, on a bench outside the restaurant. You DO NOT change a baby on a table. A bit of dirt on your child's backside will do no lasting harm. Human excrement on an eating surface certainly could.

Neener 9-13-2006 @ 2:50PM

On a table in a restaurant is not a good idea. Like the others pointed out, it's a health hazard no matter how careful you try to be. I feel for her, but the car would have been a better choice.

I had a similar "oh no" situation last winter, when my husband and I took our 8 month old on his first plane ride. We had just pre-boarded when Baby decided to poop. We couldn't leave him in it for 4 hours, and knowing how very small airplane bathrooms are, we put the changing pad on the seat between us and changed him there. It was extreemly embarrassing to have my son's bare bottom waving about as people started boarding the plane. That was the quickest we have EVER changed him in his life.

adymommy 9-13-2006 @ 2:52PM

Very gross. I have changed poopy diapers in some very odd places to avoid causing problems. After a trip to Al(17 hour car trip) my 17 month old became an expert on being changed while standing up. Where it doesn't work for small babies it is a great trick to master for older ones. Why couldn't they change her in the car?

Wallaby 9-13-2006 @ 6:13PM

I have been in this situation - but I have never changed the baby's poopy diaper on the table. I would just find somewhere else - sorry but I am not sure I buy the car was too full thing. We have two kids and a small car and on numerous occasions I have just moved the infant car seat if needed and put the travel mat on the backseat and changed baby there. Once on a vaction I even changed the baby on the front passenger seat (where I had been sitting) so I know it is doable. Infant car seats aren't that hard to move either(ours aren't anyway).

Anyway, I think that YES the restaurant should have had changing tables, but I have been places without and here is what I have done on two occasions:

1. Went to the manager and complained about the fact taht they do not have a changing table or area. Ask for an address to write a letter about it.

2. Went out to the car, moved the baby seat and changed the diaper there.

I have also changed the baby on a blanket on the hood of the car, on the grass on a blanket, and on a bench when no other places were available. I remember once as a newborn I changed the older baby laying down in his stroller (on the changing mat).

Anyway, sounds to me like this might have partly just been done out of frustration/anger at the restaurant for not having a changing table. Like "Well, if they are gonna be THAT way, see how they like THIS..." I'm sure this could have been handled in a much more productive way.

I don't like how they compared breastfeeding to changing a poopy diaper either. Breastfeeding is eating and of course should be allowed in a restaurant. Hardly fair to group people getting mad about a poopy diaper with that IMO.

Tor 9-13-2006 @ 2:56PM

While babies have to be changed, there are almost always alternatives to a restaurant table. She doesn't mention whether she used an anti-bacterial wipe on the table afterwards, which would have been considerate.

We've changed our kids (1) on the driver's seat of the car and (2) suspended in mid-air by one parent, while the other changes and cleans. Alternatively, I would have found a bench, or used the counter around the washbasin before using a table in the restaurant...

Ethel 9-13-2006 @ 3:06PM

Gosh, did they use a changing pad or a blanket? That would really decrease the ick factor.

My favorite baby changing faux pas is the change the baby without a pad or blanket on a fabric couch or new carpet. Moms are constantly doing this at my mother's office even when there is a changing station, and my mom is constantly stopping the moms and helping them gain some grace. But then, these are fragile moms who do not have a college education, means, let alone a blog that people would read. To me, changing your baby's poopy diaper on a dining table inside is announcing your Wal-Mart mom status.

Sylvie 9-14-2006 @ 8:56AM

I would NOT have changed my son in a public place where people were eating. I wouldnt even change a poopy diaper around people unless I made an announcement, I mean my son's poop doesn't offend me, but it's poop! People have a right to be offended. When we are on long car trips I usually prefer to change my son in the car, because it just feels cleaner. Whatever happened to laying your kid on your lap and changing them that way. If I absolutly had no choice and HAD to change my son in a restaurant I would have found a corner and laid him on my lap and changed him. Never on a table where people eat! I wouldnt change him on my kitchen table so why would I change him on a public table?

Ginny 9-13-2006 @ 3:35PM

I would have just changed it in the car to begin with. I never did like using public bathrooms for that...changing table or not. I think these parents were wrong. Now changing the baby in public is another thing (as opposed to on a restaurant table...which I know is in public, but the fact that it's a supper table makes it worse). I usually felt weird changing my babies in public for fear of pedophiles ogleing their bottoms.

marnie 9-13-2006 @ 4:05PM

Have to throw this out there--I wouldn't change a dirty diaper on a table where people eat, but I did change one on an airplane a couple of weeks ago. I had my four-year-old son with me and just couldn't see myself carting all three of us to a lavatory to change my daughter. So I used the empty seat in the middle of our row. Used a changing pad, contained the dirty diaper in a baggie, etc. My daughter had been having ear problems and it was evident to the entire airplane (poor people) that she and I were having a bad day. Still, a flight attendant had the gall to come up to me and recommend I use the bathroom next time. At that point I just wanted to hand her the baby and let her deal with her. :)

LS 9-13-2006 @ 5:06PM

Yet another reason to own an SUV or a pickup truck! Those tailgates make perfect changing tables, and the smell stays outside!

Seriously, not the table people... Would you change your baby on your kitchen table where you eat, or the kitchen counter where you prepare your food? No. So why would it be ok to do it on a restaurant table where others eat?