Father Loses 2 Young Children In Tornado
Why It's Hard To Get Along With Your In-Laws
Badly behaved soccer parents
Filed under: Just For Moms, Tweens, Just For Dads, Development/Milestones: Babies, That's Entertainment
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I am a soccer mom. It is something I can freely admit and not want to hide under the nearest mini van to hang my head in shame. I love watching my two older children kick the ball around the field every Saturday of the Fall and Spring months. They have fun, it wears them out and makes them less likely to fight with each other and it brings them both happiness. However, although I am a mother of two soccer players, I am not a Soccer Mom to the extent of affixing soccer team stickers to my car, boasting about or embroidering my children's abilities or exhibiting bad behavior on the sidelines of games. I am amazed time and again at how badly behaved some parents are at soccer games. The demeaning comments that one parent will mention to another about certain players on their own child's team are shocking. The insulting "coaching" that parents will yell from the sidelines stop cold in my tracks. But I think that this past Saturday I saw an all time low. We live in the Rocky Mountains of Colorado where after September first cold weather can hit at any time. This past weekend it did hit but since the other team had driven over 50 miles to play my daughter's U10 team, the girls had to brave it out in the sleeting rain and gusting wind. When the first half was nearly over, one little girl on my daughter's team could no longer hack it and went running to the sidelines and into her father's arms. The little girl had only short sleeves and could no longer feel her arms. As she cried and attempted to cuddle into her father's coat, he pushed her back on to the field yelling, "Get back in the game, dammit. Can't you see the ball is still in play? There is nothing wrong with you" The little girl continued to plea with her father as he shoved her onto the field. Finally a referee took pity on her, stopped the game and another girl was subbed on to the field.
Now this is U10 soccer, meaning that it is comprised of girls aged 8 and 9. This is not the World Cup. There are no scholarships to be won. This is a game meant to build confidence and physical coordination. When I saw the father's interaction with his daughter, I went over and offered him the use of my coat for his daughter to wear. He looked at me, shocked, and shook his head. What could he have possibly achieved by forcing his daughter to play with numbed arms? Did he think he was teaching her to be tough? Why didn't his wife step in and tell him to knock it off, especially when he turned to on of the other parents and said, "There was obviously nothing wrong with her. She was just being a baby? I don't know. But I do know that I hope I never become that kind of a soccer mom.
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ReaderComments (Page 1 of 1)
9-18-2006 @ 4:25PM
ann adams said...I'm sorry but that's abuse. In this case it was cold, but I've seen the same thing with extreme heat as well from parents and coaches.
It's a game for crying out loud.
For what it's worth, I don't think you'd be guilty of that behavior. Neither would I.
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9-18-2006 @ 4:36PM
momma2mingbu said...That is pretty insane.
Also, who in the heck dresses their child in short sleeves in that weather? Didn't they put any thought into preparing her for the game that day? If it's cold weather here, all the kids wear hooded sweatshirts under their uniform shirts so they can stay warm!
We haven't had to deal with very many pushy or crazy soccer parents yet, but I know they are out there. There was one lady about a year ago who was yelling really negative comments towards my son's team and I was very close to going to talk to the sports director about her. She was a big loud mouth. If I ever encounter her at a game again and see her behaving that way, I imagine I will say something to the sport director. The league my son plays in for spring and fall is supposed to be non-competitive and there was just no reason for her derogatory (sp?) comments. We do play competitive soccer in the winter, but everyone there has been GREAT about winning and losing and being good sports. Maybe because it's a church outreach program.
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9-18-2006 @ 8:56PM
VL said...Don't you hate to see parents who think that their personal success hinges on thier children? Really, if soccer is so important to him, why doesn't he join a team and harrass people his own size?
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9-18-2006 @ 7:14PM
SarahWinks said...Although my daughter is not old enough for this to apply (will just be two on Friday), I do remember those "soccer parents" from when my sister played soccer. She played on the town rec league as well as on a travelling team, and sometimes I think the town parents were worse than the ones from the travelling team. I distinctly remember parents shouting things such as "Get her" and "Take her out". Not really the sportsman-like conduct you want to pass on to your kids. Unfortunately, obnoxious parents often lead to obnoxious children players. One of my sisters closest friends would often "target" girls who looked at her funny with a well placed ball.
You'd hope that kids who were embarassed by their loud parents wouldn't turn out that way - but it doesn't seem to be happening.
Oh, and if you're offended by the comments, you'll never be that kind of soccer mom.
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9-18-2006 @ 8:52PM
Wendy Mac said...We're a new soccer family, we're at U8, and so far I've been thanking my lucky stars that every family on our team is fantastic. We've played some very nice teams so far, too.
Your story is what I dread, I've heard such horror stories! The only thing keeping me sane is I vow to never do that, and I vow to never make my daughter play when she doesn't want to.
Case in point- we're in southern california, and we're in the midst of a heat wave (common in the fall months). My daughter played forward for one quarter but became overheated (being U8, the quarter is only 10 minutes). The coach immediately became concerned about her, we put ice on her and had her drink some cool water at the half. The coach then pulled her from forward and subbed someone else for her.
She then played goalie for the 4th quarter.
I do enjoy the fact that everyone seems to yell encouraging, "Good job, team" even when a mistake was made, and they even congratulate the other team for their points or good plays. Everyone could learn from sportsmanship like that.
It's better to have fun than to focus on winning, and that's what I want my daughter to experience.
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9-18-2006 @ 9:23PM
Michelle said...Interesting timing. We just got home from our first U6 soccer practice.(she will be 4 in Oct.) One of the dads was yelling at his little darling "kick harder!" "Get in there!" What? They are babies! The only thing I said to my daughter during *practice* was listen to your coach. She had a tendancy to walk over to me and her little brother instead of doing what her coach was telling her. I imagine there will be a lot of positive encouragement going on from Mommy, Daddy, and Grandma at her first *game* Saturday!
I think if you are going to be stressed out by an activity your child participates, or worse, if your child is going to be stressed out, opt out of that activity. Sports and the like should be for fun, exercise, and yes, learning. It shouldn't be all about winning and being the best. Especially not at a young age. Chances are pretty slim that our children will be supporting us with their soccer star salaries.
What's gonna work? Teamwork! (Sorry, my son has been singing it all day!)
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11-08-2006 @ 1:40PM
Don said...I am a basketball referee for over twenty two years. I have referee'd all levels of basketball and can honestly tell you I can write a book about the things I've seen. Almost all parents have no clue about the most basic of rules but feel free to tell you how you should call the game. I have been called the most hideous of names and thrown countless parents out of gyms due to bad behavior. I know this is not soccer but it still pertains to bad behavior by parents.
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