Why do women cut their hair?
Categories: Just For Moms, Life & Style
After some recent inspiration from a couple of the Blogging Baby staff members, I decided to cut a majority of my hair off and enjoy a bit of freedom from the weight of my locks. A drastic change in hairstyle can be quite devastating for a woman. One bad hair cut makes for many, many bad hair days. I know this all too well. About eight years ago I took a picture of a perky Meg Ryan to my then hairdresser and asked her to do the same thing for me. What began as a noble effort on her part ended up as me looking something like a poodle. It took nearly a year to grow it out and I have been the queen of long hair ever since then. Why do women cut their hair? Other than the obvious reason of having it hang in our faces, what possesses us to sheer our lovely locks in favor of a pixie or a short bob? I found an article that brutally cut to the chase and states the main reason we do it is to alienate the men in our lives, quite literally cutting them out of our lives. The author writes, "one of the key reasons why it's such a clear indication of displeasure when a woman cuts off all that beautiful hair. Women know how much men love their hair, and so when they cut it all off they are effectively cutting men off, from their beauty, from their attractiveness to them, from their love. It's a clear gesture of defiance, or dissatisfaction, or despair, a spiteful kind of emotional kick in the balls."
Although I do agree that this is one reason a woman might cut her hair, I believe there are many other reasons. For me a needed change was in order. The stress of my father dying, moving in with my mother and leaving my significant other has been weighing on me. The heaviness of my hair got to be too much. There are many things in my environment I cannot control right now. But the weight of my long, thick curly hair? That I can control. I decided I simply no longer wanted to deal with two feet of curls, and so off they went. The empowerment that I feel is exhilarating. I don't feel as though my femininity ended up in piles on the salon floor. In fact, quite the opposite. I feel younger, sassier and more attractive than I did before.
I know many other mothers who share this sentiment. For women who once had long, flowing hair, motherhood presents a new challenge. Time is one factor. Once a baby comes along, there is rarely the opportunity for a shower much less an hour for styling and primping. Another issue is those little hands entwining themselves into the roots of your scalp. It just takes one serious pull and a fistful of missing strands to make many moms decide to schedule an appointment at the salon.
What about our readers? Do you have any hair stories to share? And if so, any regrets? Or do you revel in your carefree short hair?
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 12)
Karen Walrond 9-22-2006 @ 12:51PM
"alienate the men in their lives"?? What a crock.
As for me, I've been wearing my hair about 1/2 an inch long all over for most of my life, save for some instances when I lose my mind and grow it for a while. The reason? I have the thickest hair known to mankind, and it's a pain in the neck to deal with it otherwise.
As for attractiveness, most men in my life (including currently, my husband) have actually always preferred my hair shorter than longer -- it suits me better. Besides, when a man kisses your neck, who wants a mouthful of hair? ;o)
K.
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Rachel Mosteller 9-22-2006 @ 2:37PM
This is so stupid. I just recently cut my hair really short, and my husband loves it. In fact, he doesn't like my hair long.
I'm assuming this person doesn't have very fine hair that is falling out in clumps. I'm also assuming that she doesn't have to get up and do that hair in the morning.
She needs to grow up.
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thordora 9-25-2006 @ 11:11AM
My husband loves my hair long, but he met me shortly after I shaved my head, so I know it doesn't really matter.
I know there are some cultures which cut off hair as an act of mourning-my father removed his beard when my mother died, an act of moving along, or away from the person.
Personally, I get flat out bored. Since I shaved my hair years ago, I said I'd cut mine off again when it gets to my butt, which still hasn't happened over ten years later (my hair grows slowly)
I think most women just want a change, plain and simple.
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Nancy Toby 9-25-2006 @ 11:27AM
I cut my hair because a ponytail soaking wet and dripping during my workouts is just plain disgusting. And heavy.
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ann adams 9-25-2006 @ 11:34AM
The things I learn about you Thordora. Shaved?
I've always had short hair. I'm a square peg. I hate messing with hair, pushing it out of my face, curling it, styling it, straightening it (the girls), anything to do with it.
As for the article, I think I'll keep my big mouth shut for once. Otherwise I'll start ranting.
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Annie 9-25-2006 @ 11:46AM
This summer, I was in my best friend's wedding, and even though I only had shoulder-length hair at the time, it took the stylist over 3 hours to manage to wrangle my (massive amounts of blonde, baby-fine) hair into a messy up-do. Three weeks later, I took a razor to my head and went bald for awhile. It was SO NICE because it didn't take 5-6 hours to air dry like my previous hair cut.
I'm growing it back out (just for kicks, to see how long it will take to get back down past my butt again), and it's already past my ears!
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Jenn 9-25-2006 @ 11:47AM
I've been going back and forth between short/long hair my whole life.
I just get bored and want a change, or it gets long enough that it becomes a serious pain (my hair is very fine and very thick). I really hate fussing with my hair, and when it's long it looks terrible if I don't do anything with it.
My husband liked my hair long, but now he's complaining because he keeps finding it everywhere.
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Marissa P. 9-25-2006 @ 7:05PM
I can't believe that comment about cutting men out of your life. IT is a crock. I wear my hair short because it looks much better on my face and I don't look like every other straight-haired girls walking around. It makes me look confident not having to hide under a mass of long locks. IT is also much easier to care for.
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Wallaby 9-25-2006 @ 8:04PM
My hair just looks worse really long. I have very straight hair and it hangs like curtains when I leave it grow (ie am too busy or lazy to get it cut for a while) and is REALLY unflattering. A bob with some long layers around the edges at the back is the best cut for my hair and face shape. If my hair grows longer than that I always regret it as soon as I see myself in a photo with my lank locks hanging limpidly beside my face. My husband likes my hair however, he always comments how nice it is when I have it cut. I once had a very very short cut and he liked it a lot.
I just read this article and it is a load of crap if you ask me. I am sure that some women do change their hair when they are under emotional stress but they way this reads that is the only reason anyone would change their hair - and it annoys me how she assumes most women look better and more "sensual" with long flowing hair. Yawn, whatever. I know a 60 year old woman who two year ago finally cut her gross butt length hair that was really unflattering to her into a lovely pixie cut and she looks about 15 years younger just like that. Long hair was not nice on her and she finally realised it, that was why she got it cut.
This lady is putting too much importance on a haircut. As my mom used to say when we were teenagers (and dyed our hair purple etc) "It is only hair, it grows back." (As long as we didn't get a tatoo or pierce too many holes she didn't mind.)
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Marla 9-25-2006 @ 12:47PM
A friend of mine is a hair-colour technician and makeup artist. In an interview once, she explained why she loved her job, and I've never forgotten what she said. "Altering her appearance (with colour and makeup) is one of the fastest and least permanent ways to change how a woman feels about herself."
I think, as per the article and comments, that a drastic hair cut is just that - a more permanent and more dramatic way of doing the same. But I'd say it's still more about how one feels about oneself - it's not merely a way to give the man in your life the proverbial finger. What a provocative article! Calling it the main reason is going a bit far.
That said, when my hair gets any longer than it is right now, it spends all its time in ponytails. So what's the point of having longer hair then? Three days in elastics this week means that real soon, I'm headed back to Orchid for my usual chin-length blunt cut!
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Sara 9-25-2006 @ 12:49PM
I love my newly short hair! It's been short before and then quite long. My husband says that I look good with easy, simple hair. If it takes too much time and I'm constantly annoyed with it, that takes away from it's attractiveness. Many people have said I look younger with my hair shorter; for my age, my hair is quite naturally highlighted (gray), so it looks better short. My husband thinks it's sexy and I have not, in any way, "cut him out of my life." That's nonsense.
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Vicki 9-25-2006 @ 1:09PM
How timely! I have been deliberating cutting off my very long hair. Two years ago I had 14 inches cut off (donated to Locks of Love of course) and it looked AWFUL! I have thick thick thick hair with part curly/frizzy part straight/frizzy.
But I have been wearing my hair in a ponytail for about 10 years now, because it does not look good loose and long. And too thick for a bun! I'm sick of the ponytail, and want to lop it off, but know a cute, sassy cut is nearly impossible for thick schizophrenic hair.
I do not want to lop it off to "alienate" men. I want to lop it off in the hopes of looking like a sophisticated grownup, and getting the weight off of my head!
Heather, please share a picture of your hair -- I need a good cut for thick hair!
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Cheryl 9-25-2006 @ 1:22PM
Clearly the author of this site is posessed of some silly conservative ideas. Another pearl of wisdom: "Women who choose not to take their husband's surname after marriage are not sexually attracted to them, and will likely be the one to initiate divorce." I like her naive, matter-of-fact tone. Hee.
I hate long hair... except that I look like a male poodle with short hair. Sigh.
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Erin 9-25-2006 @ 1:50PM
While I have usually had long hair in my 31 years, I *have* had some cute short hair cuts (when I wasn't overweight) and some brutal ones when I was overweight. Was I subconsciously trying to keep men away when I was overweight and had short hair? Perhaps - but what about when I was slim and had short hair?
I have a friend/co-worker that wears her hair about 1/2 inch all-around and looks AMAZING... feminine, cute, and doesn't have to wear tons of makeup or earrings to capture the girlie look. If I could get away with such a haircut (and not look like the freaky-Rosie-coming-out-look), I'd do it in a minute.
Until I get the inner confidence to try it, I am happy with being able to half cute long hair when I want, but also being able to tie it back out of the way when I don't feel like primping.
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VL 9-25-2006 @ 2:11PM
Well, that just burst my happy bubble! And all these years I attributed my ability to joyfully wear short hair to my confidence and self esteem! Turns out I am just a chronically miserable man-hater. I guess it's better to find these things out sooner than later. My husband will be sad to know that we will be getting divorced soon, since we have always had such a nice relationship, but what can be done? I look terrible with long hair, and that's that. LOL.
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Tina 9-25-2006 @ 3:01PM
Why perpeuate the stereotype of women needing to have long hair to either attract or keep the interest of a mate? This is so ridiculous. I've always had short hair- it just looks better on me since my hair is thick and wild when it grows out. When I met my husband it was ultra-short and he told me that is how he loves it. I've grown it out and it just takes too much time to deal with- PLUS- who buys into this crap about cutting your hair is clearly a "Mom" thing? Many young childless women look great in short hair- and many moms with time on their hands can and do make the most of their long locks. It's personal preference!
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Tamyu 9-25-2006 @ 3:28PM
Cutting my hair has nothing to do with men... It is a seasonal thing for me. I usually cut it to just below earlobe length in the beginning of winter - I hate having to deal with coordinating long hair + hood or scarf. It`s a big pet peeve. By the time spring rolls around, it`s long enough to cover my neck. I burn really easily, so anything to protect my neck and shoulders from the summer sun is a plus.
In other words, I only cut my hair once a year. I`ll probably cut it next in November.
My husband likes short hair, but he met me when I had VERY long hair (butt length) so it doesn`t matter that much.
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Monica 9-25-2006 @ 3:36PM
My husband loves my hair short and has been bugging me to get it cut again. I however am lazy. My hair is in a pony tail most days, and I get it trimmed about twice a year. When it's short it's 6 weeks between trims at the most and way more fussing each morning.
I think I have a nugget of wisdom for her "Women who attribute their own motives to all women have a serious ego problem."
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LS 9-25-2006 @ 4:30PM
I'm the same as many people here... my hair is cut to suit my whim. Now, it's pretty long, but I've also had it short-short and every length in between.
However, I have a friend who has always had very long, beautiful, dark hair - almost to her waist. I talked to her not long ago, and she said that she'd cut it to shoulder length. Why? Not because it was in her way (she has her own business, and is ALWAYS busy), but because the last several years of her life have been difficult ones, and she needed to let go of the bad energy that was hanging in those inches of hair. When she let go of the hair, it helped her to let go of that pain, and get on with the happy memories that the pain had overshadowed.
So I completely disagree with the shallow tack this article is taking... we cut our hair to piss off our men? Please. How childish can you be. We have our own brains and our own reasons, thank you.
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Michelle 9-25-2006 @ 9:35PM
I have had short hair most of my adult life. I have extremely fine and thin hair. When it is left long, it just looks stringy unless I spend an exorbitant amount of time curling it, which just falls out in an hour. I have gone as short as a pixie (BTW, adorable cut, Heather) and as long as past my rear. I prefer it short. Less fussing, less time, less hair for babies to pull!
I once tried to grow it out, but then I got pregnant with my second child when my first was only 15 mos. I went to the salon and told her to cut it so all I have to do is finger-comb a little gel through it and go. I have maintained this cut since. I love it! It dries so fast and is low maintainance, which is great, since no other part of my life is low maintainance!
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